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Alzheimer's Disease
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Posted 7/28/2004 8:42 PM (GMT 0)
I need help. Family members are trying to take my father away from me because they want his assets. I'v taken care of my mother and father for the last 7 years. My mom died last year and I don't have to be a genius to know that if I wasn't here my father might not be alive today. Not because it was me but because someone, anyone was there to comfort and love him. I've taken care of this man with no help not a stitch from the people that wan't to put my father in I don't know where. I have a court date in about three weeks and I need a lawyer that is knowledgable of the situation and understands that I feel my father might fall apart completely if he is taken to unfamiliar surroundings without someone to relate to. I will do whatever is humanly possible to stop this insanity! If you know how I feel please help me.
Posted 7/29/2004 9:31 PM (GMT 0)

Hi MikeyB.

I am so sorry for the situation that you have found yourself in.I am no expert so i can only make suggestions for you to consider but as i am in Britain and i don't know where you are from then even these may not be of help to you.I will do my best though.

If it was me i would first of all go to your fathers doctor and discuss things with him or her.Will the doctor agree with you that your father would fall apart by being removed from the family home.My mother in law has dementia and i know that if she is taken away from her reguler routine and surroundings then she too would becme more confused and stressed.Things like being able to find the bathroom is a big thing for an Alzheimers patient.Also,and this may seem strange,but you need to be able to prove in court that you have lived with and taken care of your father for the last 7 years.Is it you that has always gone along with your father for hospital apointments etc,maybe you can get the doctor to give written proof of this.

Do you have a citizans advice centre or similer that you can go to? here they will be able to give you advice on the legal(sp?)side of things that you will need to have in court.Here in Britain we also have an organization called "help the aged"these people can be a great sorce of information and advice.

You say that your family has not helped at all in the care of your father but now want his assets,you will probably also need proof of this as well.Unfortunatly although you know what their intentions are they may be telling a different story,such as "Oh Mike has been living with our father rent free for this long and now it is our turn to have some benefit of Dads assets."

It is a difficult situation i know,and i do feel like my suggestions are a bit feeble for such a huge problem so i realy do hope that someone else will come along here that realy knows what they are talking about and will give you some advice.

Please post again and let us know how things progress,i can only say that i will be thinking of you.

Sue

Posted 7/29/2004 9:47 PM (GMT 0)
SUE, I'M FROM BROOKLYN,NEW YORK AND I KNOW MY FAMILYS INTENTIONS BECAUSE I WAS SERVED WITH THE PAPERS THIS WEEK. HOWEVER, THANK YOU FOR YOUR KIND WORDS, THEY ARE A SOURCE OF STRENGTH AS I FEEL VERY ALONE. I AM PREPARED TO GO THE WHOLE NINE YARDS AND FIGHT FOR MY FATHER. IT SEEMS SO UNFAIR THAT THEY CAN'T OR WON'T REALIZE WHAT TAKING MY FATHER OUT OF HIS SAFETY ZONE WILL DO TO HIM. LIKE I ALWAYS SAY IT COULD BE WORSE AND I HAVE A STRONG FAITH THAT THINGS WILL WORK OUT, I HAVE TO. THANK YOU FOR YOUR SUGGESTIONS I WILL FOLLOW UP ON THEM
Posted 7/29/2004 10:01 PM (GMT 0)
Hi there mikeyb,

I live in Canada, but I also take care of my father who has dementia.. unlike you my family is only to happy to allow me to care for my father and they are there to advise me or support my decisions.

My advise to you is to get in touch with your local Alzheimer association.  They can be a wealth of information and assistance to you, possiobly even recommend a lawyer.

Go through and collect any papers you may have that show you doing the careing for the last 7yrs, if you have any Power of Attor. signed with the banks or your parents for personal P.A. get your copies ready. 

Lastly Pray,  I find it helps me when I need strength and assistance for the major thing.

God Bless.

Mary-Lin

Posted 7/29/2004 10:14 PM (GMT 0)
THANKS FOR THE NICE WORDS. I GLAD YOUR FAMILY HAS THE DECENCY TO GIVE YOU THE SUPPORT YOU DESERVE. WHAT MOST PEOPLE DON'T REALIZE IS THAT WHEN YOU TAKE CARE OF SOMEONE YOU LEARN SO MUCH about YOURSELF. IT'S NOT WHAT YOU GIVE BUT WHAT YOUR GETTING FROM THESE SITUATIONS. I FEEL SORRY FOR MY OTHER FAMILY MEMBERS BECAUSE THEY REFUSE TO SHARE PART OF THEIR FATHERS LIFE THAT THEY WILL NEVER KNOW. YES IT CAN BE TEDIOUS. YES MY POP IS A PAIN IN THE ASS SOMETIMES. YES, I WISH I WAS IN VEGAS SOMETIMES BUT THAT'S LIFE.
I KNOW GOD IS WITH ME, HE HAS GIVEN ME THE STRENGHI OVER THE LAST SEVEN YEARS TO KEEP AT IT. HE WILL NOT ABABDON ME NOW I KNOW IT.
Posted 10/10/2004 6:40 PM (GMT 0)
GUARDIANSHIP COURT IS THE ORIGINAL KANGAROO COURT. NOW THE NEUTRAL LAWYERS ARE ALL FEEDING OFF MY FATHERS ASSETS, "FOR HIS OWN BENEFIT". MY LAWYER IS THE WORST OF ALL, DOESN'T KNOW A THING. THIS IS A HORROR SHOW. I CAN'T BELIEVE WHAT THIS GOVERNMENT HAS TURNED INTO. I HOPE I'M EXAGERATING. I WAKE UP EVERYDAY WITH A KNOT IN MY STOMACH. AFTER FIVE YEARS OF CARING FOR MY FATHER, HIM NOT BEING SICK ONE DAY, HASN'T LOST NOT ONE POUND, THEY ARE MAKING ME OUT TO BE THE EVIL SON. I TELL YOU, THIS WHOLE SYSTEM SHOULD BE EXPOSED FOR WHAT IS REALLY IS AND THAT IS A WAY FOR IGNORANT LAWYERS WHO CAN'T POSSIBLY MAKE A LIVING IN THE COMPETITIVE WORLD, LEACH ON TO POOR SUCKERS LIKE MY FATHER WHO THEY DEEM CAN'T FEND FOR THEMSELVES. THIS IS TRULY THE LOWEST THE LEGAL PROFESSION HAS STEPPED DOWN TO. I'M SO FRUSTRATED BUT I PRAY AND I KNOW I'VE SONE NO WRONG AND THAT GOD IS MY SAVIOR. THAT'S ALL I CAN DO AT THIS POINT IS TAKE THE BALL IN MY OWN HANDS AND HAVE FAITH THAT I WILL BE GUIDED IN RIGHT DIRECTION.
Posted 10/10/2004 9:31 PM (GMT 0)
I'd be finding a better lawyer.Too bad you didn't get POA at the beginning,you wouldn't be having this problem now.............

Posted 10/14/2004 10:26 PM (GMT 0)
don't have the resources to change attorneys but have been trying to light the fire under his ass. i've spent the last few days trying to get papers together-at this point all i want to make sure of is that my father stays with me. he still is a viable person who takes care of himself and i wouldn't want what's left of his life to be cut short. you can always make money but i only have one father. there is something inside me, maybe my faith in God that tells me everything will be alright and i going with it. What's the sense of projecting, i really do know what will happen. i'll know monday or we'll keep fighting. i post the outcome
Posted 10/24/2004 9:26 PM (GMT 0)
GOOD NEWS. A DIFFERENT ATTORNEY FROM THE SAME FIRM TOOK OVER THE CASE AND HE IS 200X BETTER THAN THE PRIOR ATTORNEY. HE'S PISSED OFF AT WHAT'S GOING ON, AND THAT'S WHAT I NEEDED. MY FATHER'S INCOMPETANT COURT APPOINTED ATTORNEY DIDN'T SHOW UP FOR THE LAST HEARING, SO THE CASE IS POSTPHONED UNTIL END OF NOVEMBER. MY FATHER'S ATTORNEY IS A REAL BOTTTOM FEEDER. I ALWAYS SAY YOU CAN'T GET WHAT YOU WANT BUT YOU ALWAYS GET WHAT YOU NEED. HOPEFULLY, WITH ANOTHER 5 WEEKS TO GO I CAN PULL AN ACE OUT OF MY SLEEVE, AND I THINK I CAN. WILL POST RESULTS.
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