Mother refusing meds

My mother has been diagnosed with glaucoma and requires surgery.  The surgery has been postponed indefinately until her blood pressure can be stablized.  She's been give two different meds for this but has dropped one because she didn't like the way it made her feel.  Her pressure has been at stroke level for ages.  She refuses to call the dr. or even give me his name.  Today she complained about her ears ringing all day.  obviously theres an issue here and I feel like my hands are tied.  The family still will give me no support in this.

In addition to going off her med, now she's spending time telling my children about the little girl (I don't remember what state) that was killed by a bear.  Whatever details the media didn't give my mother just made up and made this as gruesome as possible for my children.  The 8 and 6 year olds both looked horrified.  When I realized what she was doing and came rushing out of the kitchen to stop her she became very defensive and accused me of not only not facing reality but refusing to allow my children to grow up.

I know this is just part of her slipping away, and it's devastating to see, but how do I continue to expose my children to her?  Granted the two grown girls and the 14 year old can deal with this, but the 8, 6, and 2 year olds can't really be expected to.  I guess I'm just venting, there really doesn't seem to be any solution to this.

Ellie

Mother finally got her blood pressure down to a managable level and had her eye surgery last week. Glaucoma surgery and cataract surgery at the same time she tells me. She didn't tell me the surgery date. I guess they kept cancelling it due to her BP so she just figured when she went in they would cancel it again.
All went well but now they have her putting drops in her eyes every two hours? Plus another kind every four, and I think theres a third drop she does twice a day. So far she's keeping track by keeping it all on paper but this is a woman who can't remember her phone # or grandkids names. I'm afraid she's going to get confused. She won't come here. Says my cat will frighten hers. Good grief. Her cat has a heart condition and I understand her fears.
Now she's saying since she had her surgery she won't need the bp meds anymore. That the only reason she worried about it was so she could get her eyes fixed and she "did very nicely without it before, thank you". I'm going to go crazy. Ok, crazier. What do you do when they start to act like defiant little children? She still won't give me her dr.s name because she knows I"ll call him.
Mostly just venting here. Thanks for reading my little novella if you made it this far.
Take care
Ellie

I think sometimes she does tell me these things just to rattle my cage. She knows I worry and I think she takes some comfort there. I wish she'd just come here and I could help her for a week or so. Not forever, we'd do each other in, but just until the worst of this eye thing were over. In addition to all her med's she's trying to remember her cat's ear drops (hope they don't end up in moms eyes), it has and infection plus the cat is on a diuretic (sp?) and heart medicine. If she mixes those up it could be a real mess.
She has a friend that takes her to the dr. but she doesn't see her everyday. I guess sometimes theres nothing to do but worry. She won't let anyone help. And YES she is terrified of being old. She'll be 79 this month and refuses to have anything to do with people her own age. Says they're all old and she's not. I must admit that she walks miles each day. Except for the eyes and BP she is in excellent shape. It's such a shame that her body is holding up so well and her mind is slowly slipping away.
Thanks for the reply Lyn, you have a good day hon. Hope your dad is doing well.
Take care
Ellie