Took a Big Step...but need some big advice

Hi All

So I changed to taking my .5mg of Klonopin half each night (right now!) and have each morning. I hoped today would be a good day, but I just felt "off" from the start. Early this afternoon I broke down crying with my mother worrying about going to California on Friday (for those of you "behind" on my story, I am moving there for 4 months). We talked and I sort of had a breakthrough. While I have been making all these changes from workbooks to meds to natural remedies to therapy...I STILL have been avoiding things that bring me panic attacks because I was unsure that my meds were REALLY helping me, since I felt anxiety even when I was at home in my "safe zone". My breakthrough was that NO I AM NOT IN MY SAFE ZONE. Physically I am, but mentally all I am thinking/worrying/talking about it moving to California. So I said to my mother "Lets do something that makes me anxious". First of all I drove...we went to a restaurant for a late lunch...I HAVE NOT BEEN TO A RESTAURANT IN THREE MONTHS!...and I made it thru without panicking...then I drove ON THE HIGHWAY which I haven't done in three months either. I then went BY MYSELF into Wal-Mart and stood in the LONGEST LINE I could find and didn't have a panic attack. Then I drove us home. I made myself see that YES my Klonopin/Celexa are having an effect on me. Yes I felt uncomfortable in the situation I was in, but NO PANIC ATTACKS. That is a step I think! And it also explains why the anxiety doesn't leave me right when I get home...because mentally I am still somewhere else! Does any of this make sense? I feel like since I had SUCH A BAD EXPERIENCE the week before leading up to and including my flight home, its only natural for me to be feeling stress and anxiety about going back there again. The "What If" scenerio's of what if i feel THAT BAD again and how horrible that experience was for me. But that was THEN and this is NOW, right? If my Meds WEREN'T working I would have most certainly had a panic attack at some point today. Does anyone ever experience one or two symptoms of a panic attack and then fear they will have one? But then you don't? Anyway, I seem to post here each morning and evening LOL so you may all be sick of my gabbing already, but please respond if you are willing! It helps to have a support group. Thanks in advance.

Danielle

Thank you so much Kitt for your response. I was feeling SO good a little while ago. For a few hours I had NO anticipatory anxiety and was just going with my day and the excitement of packing for LA. In the past half hour or so though, I have felt more sad/lethargic/unproductive and a bit of anxiety. However, I DID just take my Klonopin about 30min before feeling that way. Does anyone have an opinion as to whether its a coincidence or could it have something to do with the Klonopin? This is only the second time I have taken Klonopin at its "new time" so maybe I should keep track of when I feel this way, and how recently the Klon was taken? Any suggestions? Thanks all!

Danielle

Kitt/ Lil Sis has given you some fantastic advice and input as well as her great support

I will just say I believe you CAN do this as well
and that Baby steps still get you there .......

Good Luck and Take care
LYN