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How do you get over fear?

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Posted 2/19/2008 3:48 AM (GMT 0)
Something very scary happened tonight and triggered a panic attack in me and I'm pretty sure it will be just the first of many tonight. How do you stop it? How do you get back in control? I am exhausted-mentally exhausted but I'm afraid to go to sleep because I know I will wake up in a panic. I'll wake up in a few hours, numb, and staring at the ceiling in fear. I know what triggered it but I really feel like I can't do anyting about it. Oh great, the palpitations have started. How long will they last. I have done REMARKABLY well with NOT having those in a while; but when they start, who knows when they will stop! My 12 year old daughter rides horses. She owns her own for about a year now. He is great for the most part, but I am actually afraid of horses! What a joke, uh? Why do we own one? For her-it is her passion. My husband grew up with horses and can ride and loves them as well but he is usually gone working and that leaves me to take her to the stable every night! Recently the trainer has decided that I need to learn to lounge to help my daughter out and my daughter is learning to lounge also. I HATE working with this animal but I am TRYING! I am trying for my daughter to make things easier for her and to make Ace a better horse for her. She competes. Tonight she was lounging him and he started acting out. He actually cantered in at her and she jumped out of the way. Then he kind of pranced up off his front legs a bit-not a real rear but close enough for me. I was TERRIFIED!. The trainer had to come in and start loungeing him. He was AWFUL! WILD! TEARING AROUND THE RING!. He is not normally like that AT ALL but was being a real brat tonight. He wanted to be done and was telling us he was in charge and finished NOW! Well the trainer was able to get him under control by letting him wear himself out and then have him obey the commands before letting him be done But my daughter doesn't have that experinece yet and now I"M TERRIFIED of him even more! I don't really like horses. They are dangerous. I was so scared I was shaking and on the drive home it was everything I could do not to throw up! And to pretend I was fine to my daughter so as not to upset her! But the truth is I'm terrified! And I'm exhausted! And I'm afraid to go to sleep because I don't want to wake up in a panic! How do you get over fear? How do you move ON?
Posted 2/19/2008 4:13 PM (GMT 0)
Dear Hopes,
A fear of horses is much the same as any other fear. It is just as hard to overcome as any other fear. It is never easy and you must be determined to do it or you will not succeed. I believe that if you are afraid you should face your fear head on.

There is nothing wrong with being afraid at times, but fear is a negative attribute when it impacts your enjoyment or controls your actions.

Your mind, body and spirit are all unified. If you allow your emotions to take control your mind and body will succumb.

I know your fear is for your daughter and that is causing you even more anxiety as the “what ifs” are going through your head.

Perhaps you should try exposing yourself a bit at a time to the horse. Get to know the horse and don’t let your fear show. A little bit at a time and eventually you may be able to get past the fear.

Please share your fears with your husband. You need support. Also consider therapy to help you deal with your fears.

Keep on posting as we care and we are here to support you.

Hugs to you from a Mother of four.
Kitt

Posted 2/19/2008 6:13 PM (GMT 0)

I woke up this morning as exhausted as last night, but I did not have any more panic attacks last night. That in and of itself is a miracle. I am still having palpitations on and off but not as bad as i thought I would have. I can't shut my brain off and get any good sleep. I have been breaking out crying several times today. I know it is so stupid- so irrational- I am really struggling with this right now. I think time and distance helps things but I feel like i;m having post traumatic stress syndrome right now. If I could rest, it would be better.

Posted 2/22/2008 7:36 PM (GMT 0)
Hopes went through much of the same I am new to this site it helps to have support there is a book that I have had for many years called hope and help for your nerves it has been like my bible it was written by a Dr. Claire weeks or Weekes forgot anyway youcan find it online when I was 253 I started with all this and back then no one new what it was thought I was going crazy--- I saw an add in the paper for this book and sent for it my goodness I could not believe it she was talking about me! She tells you how to cope and what tricks to use to break the cycle I have recently taken it out again because I have been having attacks again to much stress I guess and asthma it really is a scary thing to go through but we are not alone that is for sure I love animals my sister had a horse but I never was around him much but I do know like any animal they will smell your fear and feed off it until your calm maybe just hang back so the horse feels better also hang in there it will get better. Patchouli
Posted 2/22/2008 7:55 PM (GMT 0)
Hopes i agree with everything Kitt said! And i dont think it's irrational for you to feel the way you do.If you could be around me for a few days you would realize that you are very normal,i'm the most irrational thinking person in the world to me! I think it's quite nomal to be afraid of horses,it's just unfortunate that your child loves them!(lol) Being that you have such a great fear of them! They do look very intimidating! I've never ridden one but i've rubbed on or two in my life.I like the way they feel but i dont have a desire to ride one! Never have!! But being that your child loves them it looks like your'e probably gonna have to try very hard to get over your fear like Kitt said.The biggest way to get over your fear is by exposing yourself to it like Kitt said.I guess i'm a fine one to try to tell you,I havent traveled in 5 years.I fear the inerstate and getting stuck on it,talk about irrational! Anyway i know it's going to be hard at first but i think if you keep attacking it head on you will at least get to a point where you feel comfortable enough to be around horses.Maybe even ride one one day! I hope you feel better honey!
Posted 2/24/2008 2:14 PM (GMT 0)
Thanks everyone! I am feeling much better but then again Ace is behaving nicely. (LOL) I really do like him when he is quiet and behaved. I haven't worked with him any since that night though. I know I should. I just don't know if I will. One of Katy's trainer has high hopes that I will be able to get on to learn to ride him within a year. So I can help keep him fit and trained when Katy gets busy with school and needs time off or get the flu or whatever. She says, "For emergencies". I just don't see that happening at all!!!!! I don't relly know if I am every going to lounge him again. It just isn't a good feeling being on the ground  when 1000+ lb animal is trotting and cantering around you in a circle!!!!!!!!! I mean if he is cooperating and doing what he is suppose to do, it doesn't make me feel good. If he is acting up and wanting to bully you and acting like a maniac, I think I would die on the spot or worse! No, I don't think working with him is my job. I do carve huge sections out of my evening and weekends-EVERY evening and weekend- to let her work with him. I don't mean to sound selfish but I think that is sacrifice enough! ??????

Posted 2/24/2008 4:03 PM (GMT 0)

Hopes,
Good Morning and I am wishing you a pleasant day.  You have received lots of support and advice and that is what we are all about.  You give so much to this site and anyway we can help you, know we are here for you.

We will get you through this tough time.  Stay strong sweetie.
Hugs
KItt

Posted 2/25/2008 3:31 AM (GMT 0)

BabyTiger,

I don't think that you sounded mean or rude. I think your advice is very good. Thank you! Maybe I can get a little better over time---a long, long, long time--but maybe I can .  :-)

Posted 2/25/2008 5:10 AM (GMT 0)

Hopes,
Just checking in to let you know you are in my prayers and I hope you will get past this fear.  I admit I am afraid of large animals in fact I was afraid of dogs for years but now own a Doberman.  One of my children got bitten once and that spooked me for years. Fear is uncomfortable>
Keep on posting to us and we will help you as best we can.
In friendship
Kitt

Posted 3/26/2008 1:44 PM (GMT 0)
Hopes, I first saw you when I was checking out the messages on another page about pvc's. I started having them about 5 weeks ago and they are driving me crazy. I also have anxiety and panic attacks too. I have a holter monitor on right now that I'm having taken off in a few minutes. I would love to talk to someone who deals with this crap everyday could you please email me so we can talk...maybe you can help me a little because i think i am going crazy...thanks, Chris [email protected]
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