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The return of the anxiety beast

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Posted 8/4/2008 6:06 PM (GMT 0)

ok i am new to this stuff.but i figured i would share my story with everyone and see if they can help out,

 

i have read some of what others have had to say and am very interested in if i can get the same help..ok i was diagnosed with severe panic dissorder and agraphobia about 3 years ago now to start where i think it has all began..on my 24th birthday i went out and well got extremly dunk and the next morning i woke up and felt the normal hang over feelings but also felt these other feelings that i couldnt get figured out well i had to go back to work wich mind you was a very goood job well when it was time for me to go there i felt this over wheliming fear and painful thoughts...

 

well when i went to work i was doing my job and felt like i was gonna pass out and felt numb and tingling in my face and arms and it felt as tho i wasnt even there and i just wanted to leave and nothin else crossed my mind except for racing thoughts of death or illness..well they told me i couldnt leave and if i did i would lose my job i didnt care i wanted to get to the bottom of this whatever was happening. so when i got home i had my mom take me out to the e.r cuz i was certain that there was something wrong with me,

 

well when i got there they did every test on me from pregnancy to gall bladder adn all came back normal and then i had a cat scan and they checked my heart and all was ok there too.so i was left in the blue i know how i was feeling and still swore there was something wrong with me and they just wasnt seeing it.so i went to talk to a dr and a pshyciatrist and they narrowed it down to panic and agraphobia.well i still felt weird about the whole thing and thought still soemthing was wrong cuz theses are weird and un normal.

 

well they put me on meds and still i was going to the phsyciatrist and felt i was better and i didnt want to depend on pills for the rest of my life or depend on anyone but me to make me feel better i was convinced i could do it myself so i stopped visiting the phsyciatrist and stopped my meds and i did fell better for a while,well i year or so went by and i had went thru a few jobs.well i just got this new job loved it and the people i worked with and all of a sudden outta the blue it all started back up scared me to death..

 

i mean dont get me wrong i have had panic attacks and stuff in between but i was able to controll them,but all of a sudden i cant again.so i went back to the dr and am now back on meds and not yet have i made it back to a physciatrist..i loct my job and i am scared to get a new one cuz i am facing these everyday all day it feels like an di dont know how to get my life under control..

 

i have family members here for me and they are really supportive but i still have bad thoughts and feelings that i cna t get under controll yet i just feel like soemthing bad is hapeining and i fear i am dying of something..and i believe i have health anxiety cuz everytime i hear somehting wrong with someone else i fear i have it too and it flips me out,im scared of these feelings and im scared i will never get my life straightend out...

 

every pain i have i feel it will kill me every feeling i have seems so unreal,my family thinks i do need to talk to someone cuz there is a pattern with me losing my jobs and the time the attacks are worse...for the past 3 years sinnce my first job i had when all this stared i will start a job in september and get fired or quit in july an dits always around the same time of the month for them all i just need to talk to someone to see if your stories are like mine or if anyone has any suggestions!!!!

 

 

please help

 

 

 

Sorry had to break up your thread because it was too hard to read

Post Edited By Moderator (stkitt) : 8/4/2008 10:03:33 PM (GMT-6)

Posted 8/4/2008 7:30 PM (GMT 0)
Hi Struggle and welcome to HW

It sucks to have such horrible panic and most people here understand, so don't feel alone.

My suggestion would be to go back to therapy. It doesn't make you a failure or being weak b/c you're depending on others for help.
Therapy got me through my worst days and still does.

I don't ever advocate medication, but sometimes, it does help to take it to get over the humps.
Now is the time you need to put energy into getting well again. Jumping from job to job will not solve your issues.
Posted 8/5/2008 1:39 AM (GMT 0)
 thank you so much peacesoul for you quick respons and sorry about the threads..i think i will take the advice on going and seeking further help for this..i just hope it will help with the everyday worries. im so sick and tired of them that i am at a loss here im not sure if im the only one who goes thru it everyday for most of the day but i know im sick of it..i just feel as tho i will never get better or control of my life!!! im willing to try an dtalk to anybody who can get me past this horriable time in my life and stop the overly used worries and pains..

Posted 8/5/2008 1:52 AM (GMT 0)

Hi Strugglingbutstrong,

Welcome to HW, I hope you find some support here. Your story certainly sounds like that of a lot of our members (me included!) I think it is wise to get back on track with meds and therapy, it can be scary to think we might have to stay on them long term, but really it is no different to someone with diabetes taking their insulin. It sounds like you know what you are talking about with "overly used worries"..we tend to think of that as stinkin thinkin' here!

When I was in my 20's I got through soooo many jobs I can't honestly remember them all. I got into a pattern of working well for about three months, then increased my meds due to anxiety, then would have a series of hugs attacks (and drink too much booze nono bad for me!) Then have to quit and go on disability for six months to get back to "normal"..then six months later I would decide to be superwoman again and go and get another highly stressed job. Argh! Repeat cycle! Can you see an pattern between your attacks and work? I'm not saying you are like me (god forbid) it was just a miserable way to live. I'd like to help anyone to not make my mistakes.

What meds where you on before? Sorry, being nosy..please let us know how you go.

Meg

Posted 8/5/2008 2:37 AM (GMT 0)
thanks so much nervy meg,it is so much of a relief to hear other peoples stories,i feel so alone sometimes and actually think that i am gonna die from something cuz i didnt think and still dont think it is normal to go thru everything i go thru.it is hard for me to even get out and about with always feeling this way..but i know i have got thru it before but it seems it gets harder and harder every time..and yea im begining to think that when i work it does make it worse.i thought everything was going fine but than all of a sudden i break and this all starts back over and i know the people around me get tired of hearing about it or putting up with me being in and out of jobs but i dont know what else to do,it is hard to go out and work and sometimes i ever wonder if i will ever be able to work and stay there..and the meds i am on is zoloft again..i have stopped drinking cuz it just seems worse when i do and it stinks cuz i loved hanging out with friends/family whatever and have a few but now im scared to death to even drink one..i havent drank since the 24th of may and still go thru them so i dont know anymore and i have a father and a brother that drink to get rid of there feelings but i dont know how they do it cuz normally it is the next day for me when i feel worse...so i dont know i hope this all works out for me too..thanks a bunch!!!

 

 

 

struggling

Posted 8/5/2008 3:56 AM (GMT 0)

strugglingbutstrong

Welcome to HealingWell and the A & P forum. This is Kitt. You have received some great advice from the other members and I totally agree going back to therapy is a good idea.

I have had A & P and Depression for 26 years now. I held down a full time job for 26 years but at the end of my career I had a major meltdown just 2 years from my goal date for retirement.  I have been on meds as off them I do not do well.  So I take them and just accept that it is part of my life.

Remember this:
It does not matter if you feel frightened, disorientated, dreamlike, or unsteady. These feelings are an exaggeration of the normal bodily reactions to stress.

Just because you have these sensations doesn't mean you are crazy. These feelings are just unpleasant and frightening, not dangerous. Nothing worse will happen to you.

 

Let your feelings come. . Don't run away from panic. When you feel panic build up, take a deep breath and as you breathe out, let go. Keep trying. Stay there almost as if you were floating in space. Don't fight the feeling of panic. Accept it; you can deal with it.

 

Try to make yourself as comfortable as possible without escaping. If you're on a street, lean against a post or a store wall. If you're at the cosmetics department of a store, find a quieter counter or corner. If you're in a boutique, tell the salesperson you don't feel well and want to sit for a while. Do not jump into a car and go home in fear.

Don't indulge in stinkin thinking, "Why can't I be normal ? Why does this have to happen to me?" Just accept what is happening to you. If you do this, what you fear most will not happen.

Think about what is really happening to your body at this moment. Do not think "Something terrible is going to happen. I must get out." Repeat to yourself "I am ok, I will not die or lose control."

Try to distract yourself from what is going on inside you. Look at your surroundings. See the other people around you. .They are with you, not against you.

When the panic subsides, let your body go loose, take a deep breath, and go on with your day. Remember, each time you cope with panic and anxiety, you reduce your fear.

 

 

Posted 8/5/2008 12:30 PM (GMT 0)
Kitt, that is awesome advice. I need to copy and save that.

That advice will get anyone through a panic episode.

Struggle, it takes time to master contolling emotions, but it's doable. Anxiety and Panic are the MOST common mental issue in the world and the most curable. It takes time and effort and a true want to feel better.

Keep up the fight ok and please stick around and keep us posted
Posted 8/5/2008 3:49 PM (GMT 0)

Thts really gud advice as usual Skitt. :-)

Posted 8/6/2008 1:37 AM (GMT 0)
 Thanks to all of you who have helped me get this far..i realize it is a long scary road ahead and also very aggervating..and im sure i will think i will never get better but listening to each and everyone of you i have more faith that it will get better and that it is nothin that can harm me..i still have trouble with these feelings and side effects wich im sure those will pass too..sometimes i just wanna give up cuz i cant do anything..i hate takin meds and i hate depending on others to make me feel better,but i guess i have to learn to deal with all these feelings.well once again thanks for all your help
Posted 8/6/2008 4:15 AM (GMT 0)

Struggling,

It is great that you have cut out the booze, especially if you are on an anti-depressant like zoloft (it can mean it doesn't work if you drink). It may seem like you are missing out for now, but in the long run, it will help you with this fight against anxiety.  Please don't feel like you are depending on others, I am sure you are not, and you need the help, we all need help at some stage in our life. You may feel like giving up, but remember, this will pass, it always passes and you will be stronger for it. Stay strong, keep fighting and please stay with us. :-)

Meg

Posted 8/6/2008 10:35 PM (GMT 0)
thanks meg.and i have another question for all of you..have you ever drove somewhere like in the country and was afraid you was gonna forget where your going or where you at?one day i was driving home from work on a highway and i totally forgot where i was at or going and mind you i would take that way everyday and i knew it well.so now everyt ime i drive far or out in the country i am afraid of that happen again..so i was just wonderring if anyone one else does that or have had that happen before..

 

thanks struggling

Posted 8/7/2008 12:47 AM (GMT 0)

Struggling,

You belong to the A & P family so never feel you are alone.  We all have expereinced anxiety and panic and we still do.  Remember, however, we have anxiety, it does not have us. :-)

Hugs
Kitt

Posted 8/7/2008 2:06 AM (GMT 0)

thanks kitt,and i will remain with you guys,without you i feel like the whole world is against me..and i am grateful for everyones advice and there own personal stories..i will check it every day and that is what meakes me feel better..

      thanks..struggling

Posted 8/7/2008 1:27 PM (GMT 0)

Good Morning Pain, I made you your own thread..........named it How to stop the pain's post of August 8th.  that way members will find your post.

Thanks

 Kitt

Post Edited By Moderator (stkitt) : 8/7/2008 9:51:00 AM (GMT-6)

Posted 8/7/2008 3:36 PM (GMT 0)
Hello struggling, I know everything you're going through,My anxiety and panic attacks all started about 3 months a go but i am going to Mental health in one week for my anxiety and panic disorder. But im always worried about everything you are too,Mostly about my health,im always wondering if everything is okay and it seems crazy but its very true.Anxiety runs in my family but there on meds for it and i have anxiety the worst out of my family,and it makes me miserable and un happy and its just awful! and the whole job thing i have quit jobs also due to anxiety,I have it so bad now that i can't really work cause im always scared of getting a panic attack at work then leaving then i would get fired.So im hoping this mental health will work me and they give me the right medication! i know people have probably told you this before and its really hard to do but i bet you there is nothing at all wrong with your health,Try going outside for a walk,if u have dogs then walk them.Walking helps me out a little bit,when i walk i don't think about anything really,Or you could go on bike rides or do anything really to keep your mind off of what ever is trigging your anxiety and panic.I mean some people get panic attacks out of the blue!!! Its scary as heck also,When i get those things i seriously think im about to faint, or die,and Feel like i need to call 911 its the scariest crap in life!! But the thing is that ive had quiet a few panic attacks and everytime i get them i still think that i will fall over and die and i cant breahte or anything its so horrible!!!! But i hope you get better which you will!!! if you ever need somebody to talk to then you can email me at [email protected] or myspace www.myspace.com/xfullenergyx
Posted 8/7/2008 3:53 PM (GMT 0)

Edd1E

Welcome to HealingWell and what great advice you have posted.  We have a forum for newbies to introduce themselves.  I will pop it to the top as we all want to get to greet you.

You can post as much or as little as you like.

Again welcome.

Kitt

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