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My husband has a tumor

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Posted 8/7/2008 1:33 AM (GMT 0)
Yall,

      I really need some help.  My husband just told me that the doctor called him today.  He said that the doc told him that knot on his head was a fatty tumor.  And that he would have to have another MRI to check it out more.  I am so scared right now.  What do I do?  If he has cancer I will just die, and I mean it.  I am freaking out!!!!!!!!!!

Posted 8/7/2008 6:30 AM (GMT 0)

Honey,

Sweetie, do you know for sure? Don't expect the worst. It could be non-cancerous, really, really common thing to happen. Keep in mind the reality you want, the one you and peacesoul talked about. Stay there. Not in panic. You will not die.

Love,

Meg

Posted 8/7/2008 2:10 PM (GMT 0)
Okay,
So I am less worried this morning. I am just going to have faith in Him that He will take care of us. I am not going to worry about things that haven't happened yet. I am going to just deal with what's happening now. And now, my husband is fine. He is healthy and we are blessed. I still need all the support I can get so I can stay in this posative mood. Thanks meg, you're always there for me!

I am going to see my therapist in about 40 minutes so I'll let yall know how that goes. Love to you all!
Rachel
Posted 8/7/2008 3:15 PM (GMT 0)

Rachel,

Know that we care and let us know how you make out at therapy.

Also sweetie, you are strong, so let's start with letting go of the "stinkin thinkin"  It has been weeks now and it is not healthy so back on the road to happiness, write those goals and take those baby steps.

Hugs

Kitt

Posted 8/7/2008 5:00 PM (GMT 0)
i sending good wishes for you and him that everything will be find i am here for you , i'll pray that everything will be fine. sending a big hug to you
Posted 8/7/2008 5:48 PM (GMT 0)
Thanks for all the love and prayers yall. It really does mean the world to me. I am having another lousy day and I have to work. I really dont feel like goin in but we need the money bad. I need to snap out of it already. I went to the counselor and she gave me some homework to do and a book to get. I really want to feel better but I just feel so tired and out of it. I think I need a vacation from my life. Oh, well. I really do appriciate all the support and prayers. Keep em goin up for me and hubby. Love to all!!!

Rachel
Posted 8/7/2008 5:59 PM (GMT 0)

Rachel, Prayers are something you can always ask for and receive from the wonderful members of HealingWell.  For whatever reason you need help we will offer prayers if asked to.

Gentle Hugs
KItt

Posted 8/7/2008 7:54 PM (GMT 0)
My thoughts and prayers are with you for sure

As well they are with your hubby

" Stinking thinking" is not good
Trust me on that one

Glad you f
got to appointment with therapist

Keep us posted k

LYN
Posted 8/8/2008 4:13 AM (GMT 0)
Well, I'm still breathing. Jonathan (my husband) has been looking up stuff on the internet about the fatty tumors. I think he's freaking his self out. So I guess it's my turn to be strong for him. How am I supposed to be strong when I can hardly function myself? I am so exahsted. Yet, I cant sleep at night. I could stay up all night if I didn't take sleeping pills. I'm starting to think I'm a vampire. hehe. Trying to make a funny out of a not funny thing. I am so strung out at night. And then during the day I'm so depressed. I'm not really anxious at night anymore, I'm just not sleepy. Tired, yes, sleepy no. It makes no sense to me. Does anyone else get that? And I am afraid if I take something for the depression that the anxiety will come back. And I absolutely will not take something that has any chance of making me gain weight. I cannot gain weight. I still want to lose about 15 more pounds even though I know it's not healthy. I just feel better about myself when I'm skinny. Now, I am 5'4 and I weigh 115 on my good days. So I know that I am not really fat but I still think I am. Does that sound too crazy? I just cannot get my mind off of it. I wish I could just be normal and eat normal and feel good about my weight but I cant. I have tried. But if my scale is over 115 I freak out. I am going to try and start another diet tommorow. I know this is not good for me but I cant just stop and eat normal. I either eat hardly anything, or I eat everything in sight. It's like there is never any middle ground for me. With anything. I either do it all the way or I dont do it at all. And thats with everything. And journaling doesn't help with this eating thing because then I just obsess even more about what I have and haven't eaten. I just really hate this. I do. I dont want to be like this. I have never felt good about my body. EVER. And it's only gotten worse as I've gotten older. Not better. I weigh the same as I did in the 7th grade. And thats after having a baby. So I should be really happy. But I'm not. I dont think I can be happy until I reach 100. And then I would still try and get to like 90 or 85. I know this is really unhealthy but I just cant be happy unless I weigh a certain number. And it's not about control. Like everyone assumes. It's about how much I hate my body. I dont know why. My husband says I was hotter when I weighed 20 pounds more. When we first met. But I dont think I can ever get up to that again. I think I would just die. Okay, thats enough of that. Sorry about that. I didn't expect to write all of it, it just kinda came out. Thanks for listening.
Rachel
Posted 8/8/2008 1:54 PM (GMT 0)

Rachel,

Good Vent.  I am sorry you are just not able to make much headway but the road to healing is a long one and it does take a lot of hard work on your part.

I will continue to pray for you and for your hubby.  Bles you both.
Kitt

Posted 8/8/2008 3:11 PM (GMT 0)
Thanks Kitt,
I am so happy that I have such a wonderful family here to come to when my days are dark. You all are such a blessing to me.

I am going to try and tackle this gianormous mess today. Hopefully I can do it. No, I can do it. And I will be in and out here all day. I always come on here as a treat for myself when I get things done. It really is great to have this place. So many good friends here. I am going to have a good day. I am determined to do it and so I will. Still keep the prayers a comin. I need everyone. Thanks all. Much love to you!!!!
RAchel
Posted 8/8/2008 3:17 PM (GMT 0)
Hope it all works out thirsty :P
Posted 8/9/2008 1:36 PM (GMT 0)
The doc is still trying to schedule him an MRI. I'm staying optimistic. I'll keep yall updated on this. Thanks for the support and prayers.
Rachel
Posted 8/20/2008 4:06 AM (GMT 0)
Well, Jonathan had his MRI done but we still haven't heard the results. I am getting so scared. We watched The Bucket List tonight, which is a really good movie by the way, but I just cried my eyes out. I am so scared that Jonathan will have cancer or something. I love him so much and I am so scared of losing him. He is the only person in this world who truly knows me and loves me anyway. He has become the best husband I could ever dream of. and I am so scared that he is going to die. I dont know what to do. I try to ignore it and not worry about it but he's started having bad headaches and weird body twitches and stuff. He has not had this before now. I am just so scared. I dont know what I would do without him. Do you think that the twitches and headaches could be from something else? I am just so worried about him. I dont want him to hurt ever. I cant stop it though. I can only love him. So any advice would be great. And just really pray for him, and me. That would mean alot to me. Thanks yall.
Rachel
Posted 8/20/2008 4:20 AM (GMT 0)
Rachel,

Worrying about these results are just going to make you more anxious. Try to put it out of your mind until you hear something for sure. You need to get your thoughts under control and try to relax. Do some deep breathing exercises. If you are stressed out, you are no help to your husband or your son. So relax, and think happy thoughts.

hugs, Karen
Posted 8/20/2008 4:27 AM (GMT 0)
Hi, Rachel!

The waiting is *sooo* hard when you're worried about medical tests. I don't have any good answers, but I do know that it helps me to realize that I'm taking all the right steps toward finding out what's wrong and then treating it.

You and Jonathan are doing the same thing: you've been to the doctor, gotten the right tests done, and you're ready to follow up with whatever you find out needs to be done next. Remember that the headaches can definitely be from just about anything, and you two are certainly going through a tough time right now. I don't know anything about twitches, but there are also harmless explanations for those as well.

A friend and I were discussing health anxiety tonight and realized that what makes it so obnoxious is that immediate mental jump to whatever the worst-case health scenario is. For instance, I get a little rash in the rash and what happens? Do I think, "Oh, that's odd. Huh. I guess it'll just go away like it came."? Noooo, I have to immediately think it indicates an allergy to *water*, for crying out loud, and that my throat will close tight any minute and I'll die before help gets here. Mind you, I've never been allergic to anything in my life, let alone water.

So what I'm saying is, those of us who fight health anxiety almost always jump to the worst, most frightening outcome possible, when all chances are that everything is just fine. Having something different or weird about your body - or Jonathan's - doesn't mean it's something lethal.

Remember, you're both doing all the right things to take care of his health, and that's something to take a little comfort from.

Love,
percycat
Posted 8/20/2008 4:52 AM (GMT 0)

Rachel,

I'm praying for you and Jonathon. Keep yourself busy (with happier movies!!) and stay out of negative thinking. Be strong for each other and share plenty of hugs. You can get through this. I know it.

Meg

Posted 8/20/2008 10:02 AM (GMT 0)

Good Morning Rachel,

Please let me try to reassure you if the physicians who read the MRI saw anything critical they would have called you right away and had your hubby in the hospital.

I know from my own experience how dreadful the waiting can be but try to let go of the anxiety as there is nothing you can do to hurry along the results. I have learned this the hard way as you are doing now. smhair

Make an effort to stay focused on what's happening now. What do you see, hear, and smell? How do you feel? Truly be 'present' in the moment! That will help you keep the anxiety down. :-)
Kitt

Posted 8/20/2008 5:09 PM (GMT 0)
Karen,
I have resolved to not worry about the knot. hehe. I'm going to be strong and know that everything is okay. We love eachother and we both have so much to live for. We will beat all of this with HIs help!!

Percycat,
Thanks for the reasurrance. I know we are taking the right steps and this morning I just have this awsome feeling of peace with this. I am not going to worry about tommorow. I am going to live in today!

Meg,
I am definately trying to keep busy. Posting advice for other people somehow helps alot. I know that there are alot of people in bad situations and mine is just a little stinky! THanks for the love my twin!

Kitt,
I have realized that if there was something wrong that he would already know it. Thanks for reminding me. I have faith this morning that all will be well. Thanks for your loving words of wisdom! Take care of yourself and get plenty of rest. Okay?
Love to you all!
Rachel
Posted 8/20/2008 6:00 PM (GMT 0)
:-)   turn   tongue   :-)   yeah   wink   smilewinkgrin   :-)   turn    scool   wink   smilewinkgrin   :-)   turn   tongue   yeah   yeah   yeah   tongue   :-)   :-)   turn   wink   smilewinkgrin yeah yeah yeah tongue turn wink

   My husband finally called the doctor and guess what?  It's just a cyst!!!!!!!  The almighty Healer has come through for us again!!  thanks so much for all of your prayers!  I am just so happy!

 

I AM SO HAPPY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Posted 8/20/2008 6:03 PM (GMT 0)

Rachel

I am so happy for you...............it is wonderful to hear a good outcome and you are having your day in the sun today for sure.  Just keep it up. turn turn

Hugs

Kitt

Posted 8/20/2008 7:44 PM (GMT 0)
I am glad to hear that everything came back alright. I know of stressful that must have been for you. about three months ago my dad told me he had a brain tumor. Thankfully we found out it wasn't cancerous but he still had to have it removed and I was on edge until I I got a call let me know that he made it through the surgery fine.

Worrying about my family is always something that plays a part in my anxiety. Mostly because we are all so far apart physically that even if something happened to any of them it wouldn't be easy to get to them.

Anyway, like I said I am glad to hear to hear that you received some good news.

Keep smiling and know that you are in our thoughts and prayers.
Posted 8/20/2008 10:06 PM (GMT 0)
This is such good news Rachel. I am so happy to hear this. Now you can quit worrying and get back to normal. It is so wonderful to get this good news. Take care sweetie.


Best wishes for a wonderful day.

Luv and hugs, Karen...
Posted 8/20/2008 10:54 PM (GMT 0)
I am so happy for you prayer does work, i glad hes going to be o.k. smilewinkgrin smilewinkgrin smilewinkgrin smilewinkgrin smilewinkgrin smilewinkgrin
Posted 8/21/2008 4:27 AM (GMT 0)

Hurray! I am so happy, Rachel!  Let me try one of those smiley things: smilewinkgrin .

(Hey, it worked!)

percycat

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