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Posted 11/11/2008 7:06 PM (GMT 0)
Can someone have mild PTSD from being in an emotionally abusive relationship? I get flashbacks, anxiety, was dxd with Major Depressive Disorder. I have to deal with memories playing in my mind, trying to stop them from playing and replaying. I hyperventialte, shake uncontrollably and feel like I'm going crazy. Please if anybody can answer my question... Thanks.
Posted 11/11/2008 9:29 PM (GMT 0)

  I can relate to alot of what you are saying, I have had to deal with alot of things from the past, flashbacks put me in a bad mood and a bad place that I feel like I have too to some time and at times I have come really close to it ( not getting into it) but I have to stop and think about what I and you have gone through but not the same, and just STOP and think it is over and will never happen again and be strong about it as it is in the past and you can not change that but you need to look forward, but when it dose hit you call a friend and just talk with them about it and it to will pass.

   Cowboy up

Posted 11/11/2008 10:11 PM (GMT 0)

trying2getby said...
Can someone have mild PTSD from being in an emotionally abusive relationship? I get flashbacks, anxiety, was dxd with Major Depressive Disorder. I have to deal with memories playing in my mind, trying to stop them from playing and replaying. I hyperventialte, shake uncontrollably and feel like I'm going crazy. Please if anybody can answer my question... Thanks.

I would say yes! Emotional abuse is very damaging. Get yourself the help you need, be it counseling, meds or both.

Good luck and hang in there.

Posted 11/11/2008 10:46 PM (GMT 0)

I agree PTSD can be caused from being in a abusive relationship.  Have you tried the CBT therapy?  If not let me know and I will post info here for you.

Take care

Kitt

Posted 11/11/2008 11:25 PM (GMT 0)

Hi Kitt, please post the CBT info.

Thanks!

Posted 11/11/2008 11:55 PM (GMT 0)
I just bought a CBT Depression Workbook, so hopefully that will help for now. I'm finding out a lot about myself just surfing through the forums... It is an awakening experience...
Posted 11/12/2008 2:32 AM (GMT 0)

DSM-IV-TR said...


A. The person has been exposed to a traumatic event in which both of the following were present:

1. the person experienced, witnessed, or was confronted with an event or events that involved actual or threatened death or serious injury, or a threat to the physical integrity of self or others.

2. the person’s response involved intense fear, helplessness, or horror.

Certainly.

It seems no one asked, are you in a safe place now? That is the first step, as far as I'm concerned, to recovery.

Take care,
Buddha
Posted 11/12/2008 9:20 PM (GMT 0)
Most assuradly YES!  I have exp this also, even now, 2 years after leaving the situation, I find it very hard to go back to the town I used to live in, and especially my old neighboorhood.  These things leave scars on us.  I went to this area last week, and I would like to tell you I was strong and worked through it, nope, I took a Klonopin and got the hell out of there.  Why put yourself through un-needed trauma? :)
Posted 11/12/2008 10:28 PM (GMT 0)
Hello trying2getby.... I have suffered from PTSD for a long time.... the thing with PTSD is that there are many, many triggers.... it can be a smell(which is a very, very strong memory trigger). ... the tone of someone's voice... the way someone walks... the very look of a person.... any and all sorts of activities of daily living. For one of my daughters.(both my daughters also suffer from PTSD).who had wanted the bigger room for a long time, suddenly started experiencing all kinds of flashbacks, panic attacks etc... we finally discovered that it was the color of the walls. ... they were painted green... much of her abuse had taken place in a room with green walls... She wasn't even aware of the connection... it was my other daughter and I who finally figured it out.... as soon as we moved her out of that bedroom she was fine again.
PTSD symptoms... lack of sleep, nightmares, panic attacks, flashbacks, wax and wane in my case. It helps to get your story out in a safe environment... either with a counsellor, or through journaling etc... you have to get it out... tell it.... it is never easy... but there is no way AROUND it... you have to plow through it... plow is a strong word... most of us inch our way through it... two steps forward, three steps back... the fallbacks are ok... because through the process you are acquiring new coping skills , new awareness of your particular triggers and weaknessess.... I find that when one of my children is experiencing a hard time... I start having many, many flashbacks and intrusive memories. ... also if I am under any kind of stress or worry.
PTSD doesn't go away.... you simply learn how to manage those times when memories are flooding your thoughts and body.... With PTSD ... the body has a memory of its own also... so you may re-experience what you experienced , physically, as well as mentally, while the abuse or trauma was taking place.
Sometimes our bodies remember but we don't have a conscious connection to the memory that is causing the physical symptom.
There are counsellors who are specialized in dealing with PTSD . I guess the biggest challenge for us PTSDers is to own the memory,; it is part of who you are... We may not have had the power to do anything about it then... but we do have a choice now... we can let it destroy us or make us stronger... I think it is a long and difficult process... but honey it is worth it... YOU are worth it... besides... when and if you are ready to share your experiences , good and bad, and your recovery... it is SURE to help someone else who is going through something similar.
I keep having to remind myself that I am safe now... sometimes many times a day... fear overtakes my life at times... but usually not for long... depression is a constant struggle.
This is one of the best forums you could have chosen.... the people here are 'family' ... they don't judge... they listen and encourage... and believe me have pushed me out of the pits of despair, fear, anger, self-loathing many , many times. I KNOW I am much stronger because I have let some of this darkness out and shared it with this family...
Come to us often... you can email me if you wish... I would like to help... we'll help each other.
Sending healing thoughts and prayers ,
Mary
Posted 11/13/2008 12:41 AM (GMT 0)
trying2getby,

Buddha is right, we did not ask if you are in a safe place now?

Cognitive-behavioral therapy is based on the idea that our thoughts cause our feelings and behaviors, not external things, like people, situations,and events. The benefit of this fact is that we can change the way we think to feel / act better even if the situation does not change.

CBT
The MoodGym Training Program

http://moodgym.anu.edu.au/

just click on link eyes This is a completely free online version and you do the work online.

There is a new one out too by the same people.

e-couch provides information about emotional problems - what causes them, how to prevent them and how to treat them. It includes exercises to help you understand yourself and others better. Even better, it provides you with a set of strategies that might help you to improve your life.

Perhaps you are feeling anxious or depressed. You may be upset by a divorce or separation or a recent loss of someone close. If so, e-couch may help you work through your feelings.

http://ecouch.anu.edu.au/welcome

I have not worked this one yet but you may want to take a look at it.

Take care and hugs to you.

Kitt 


Posted 11/13/2008 12:45 AM (GMT 0)
I am so impressed with the outpouring of support and input

YES
I honestly believe you can be this way for a long time
You can learn ways to cope but I find CBT was / is the best way for me

I just up and took daughter out of house away from a very poisonous relatioship
I was basically a piece of dirt to her dad and I had no self esteem left when I finally did leave

I do have self esteem now and working on getting to a better place
DAILY............Stay safe and keep us posted

LYN
Posted 11/13/2008 5:25 AM (GMT 0)
thank you for all of your responses. yes i am with my family now. the ex has been reaching out once again, trying to see the dogs and wanting to share in the costs of taking care of them. i am confused now as it would be great for her to share in taking care of the dogs, as we had them for 4 years, at the same time, i know that if i see her i might plunge into the dark abyss that i do not want to go into. my parents just want the best for me, and i am torn between having her as a part of my life, or erasing her from it. she was emotionally abusive during the course of the breakup, calling me worthless, a mess, and she said she did not care if i lived or not. the pain from that is so great, but i have anger too. i have asked several good friends of mine who said that seeing her would do me no good. i suppose they are right?

once again, thanks for all the support. i feel safe with my HW family.

Eli
Posted 11/13/2008 3:16 PM (GMT 0)
Eli,

The decision must be your own. However, in my own hindsight, after breakups from two relationships with emotionally abusive men, breaking off contact would have been the healthiest thing for me to do. I wish I had done it and not been snowed by their claims of wanting to stay friends. My exes didn't want that - they just wanted narcissistic feed - someone to go to to make *them* feel better whenever they needed. The give and take of friendship wasn't on their radar screens, but it took me ages to see that.

percycat
Posted 11/14/2008 2:25 AM (GMT 0)
Eli... I hope you are doing better, feeling safer... I apologize for the lenghty post above.... I agree that the best strategy is too cut all ties. ... its always boils down to a question of control.... as long as there is contact they can keep exercising mind games and emotional abuses.... but if you cut all ties then they no longer have that control over you. Many abusers become more persistent and obsessed, stalking... once a 'victim' has moved out or broken relations. It is good that you have support. Stay strong... you will get thru this.
Many prayers, healing thoughts.
Mary
Posted 11/14/2008 3:35 AM (GMT 0)
Thank you Mary, I am still at odds, but I have an appointment with a social worker and my pdoc tomorrow, and they may be able to help. I love everyone on here, you guys are the only friends I have right now...
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