Anyone else suffering with PTSD except Buddha and I?

 Is anyone else suffering from PTSD. ? I have been struggling so much lately with depression, flashbacks, nightmares.... it is all sooo overwhelming. The other day, after having a bit of respite from it all, a friend of mine raised his voice to me ( he suffers from anxiety , etc as well...and got anxious , became agitated and yelled at me for no real reason except that he was out of control)... I understand the feeling all too well....but boy did it set me back!!!!! I was sick all nite... my CD flared up, I had the shakes so bad, my heart was beating 100 miles a minute, couldn't breathe.... and all these terrible memories were popping back into my head. It was horrible.

I have devoted my whole life to protecting my brothers , sister, mom... and then my own children.... 45 years of fear.... I am 51 now... my children are doing well , 19 and 18 .... I find myself feeling so lonely at times... I had hope that I could find a friend... someone to share coffee with , go to a movie with from time to time.... I thought the friend that yelled at me could become someone significant in my life.... but now I realize that I will probably never be able to have a normal relationship with a partner.... I am sooo screwed up.... I don't know what normal is... Men terrify more than I knew.... I thought that if I was aware of my PTSD issues and knew the triggers Id be able to handle things ....but I was wrong.... now I feel even more lonely . I have beautiful daughters and a gorgeous grandaugther... I have wonderful women friends and I have this precious HW family.... but how I wish I could be normal and be able to have a partner to share my life with... maybe I'm suffering a bit of the empty nest syndrome.... I've been mother/protector my whole life and have lost myself in the process... now all I know of me... is that I am one big mess of hurt and fear. How do you learn to trust again.?

I cried as I read your post. I, too, have PTSD because the father of my children stabbed me 16 times. I know how it is to make it day to day. I live in fear I think on the inside. I long to trust someone, but really can't, especially guys. I know what it is like. Sometimes, I don't want to leave my house, which is completely opposite of who I really am. I used to be so outgoing and sociable. I've had flare ups too where my heart is beating and the flashbacks are so real, its like he is hurting me all over again. I can feel it. I have a friend who helps me through those hard times. He holds me and tells me its gonna be ok. He is with me till the episode is over. I haven't had many bad episodes because I block it out so hard, but when they hit, they hit hard. My advise to you would be to have a friend with you. Someone who understands. It doesn't make it go away, but it makes it easier to get through. My heart and feelings are with you my friend. We can get through this.

Yes, I have PTSD and it is mainly under control but I am in the middle of a bout with it now. The event happened 16 years ago but from time to time I experience flash backs that make it seem like yesterday. Marie, it WILL get better. I have someone very important in my life that understands, so there's proof positive that there are good men out there. Don't lose hope, please. It sounds like you have a lot to offer to the right person and to your family. I am sort of in the same boat as you, feeling a little bit of empty nest syndrome and also feeling as if i need to be a protector to my family. I am slowly realizing that I cannot protect them at all times and worrying 24/7 does not benefit anyone, it only hurts everyone more, especially me. Hang in there, it will get better, I promise... :o)

Dear Mary,

I have been doing my homework again my dear friend.

Here is a forum called ptsd Forum.  I have looked it over and I suspect you might find som help here:

http://www.ptsdforum.org/thread5634.html

I am glad to see our wonderful members step up to the plate and give you advice and share with you.  They are so awesome and you are family here, but keep talking to us and know that any info you may learn re PTSD would be gratefully appreciated right here.

Love you and many prayers for you

Kitt

Supermom83... sounds like we have had similar experiences.... we may be able to help each other... please feel free to email me anytime... my email adress is in my profile.
Blessings
Mary

Mary you NEVER need to apologise for anything, we LOVE you and we are here for you, always always always!!

healing hugs, peace love and all my prayers, Maz XX

Keeping those thoughts love and prayers coming your way

Luvs

LYN