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having trouble coping

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Anxiety & Panic Disorders
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Posted 12/22/2008 2:50 PM (GMT 0)
I need some help here. Living with chronic pain and other chronic problems has been weighing heavy on me. I tried a therapist but I didn't really like him. I just needed someone to talk to that's not my husband (I feel like I putting all my problems on him and my family) Well after dealing with all this for 4 years my body is tired. I mentally can't deal with it any more. Then two weeks ago my grandmother died. Quite suddenly. I'm not coping well at all now. I couldn't go out to the funeral due to my health problems and that is adding to the guilt (even though I've talked to my grandfather often and he has told me many times that he know's I can't make the trip and not to worry about it.)

I had my annual gyn visit a few days after my grandmother died and she asked if I had any xanax, I said no, so she told me to go get some and see a therapist. The one she recommended cost $300 and doesn't take insurance. I got klonopin from my GP who also told me to talk to someone about it. Well the klonopin gave me depression (bad, almost suicidal but not quite) so I called them the next day and they gave me xanax. Well I took it twice and felt better, but now a few days later I'm needing it again but I'm at work so I can't take it.

I called around and any therapist taking new patients don't take my insurance and all cost well over $150 or more. I could go back to the guy i saw last year, but I'm not sure he'll help if I don't like him all that much.

I know this is somewhat acute anxiety due to very high stressors in my life right now. So I feel I don't need something forever, but I'm having real hard time right now and I'm not sure what to do. I only have to work today and tomorrow then I'm off for a week! I want to rest, but I also don't want to get bored and depressed.

I've tried meditating, visual imagery, nice relaxing hot baths, reading and watching funny movies, etc... Nothing seems to help. I'm just not sure what to do.

Posted 12/22/2008 2:55 PM (GMT 0)
I know here in ONTARIO,Canada we have FREE Mental Health clinics
I am sure that there must be something akin to that where you are
Especially IF you get your doc to refer you

I am doing grief counselling thru a Mental health clinic and its because I ahve only been w/o my Dad for a few months and Mom a couple of yrs prior ...gma a couple yrs prior to mom
I too have lost so many

Do you think Grief counselling may help with these feelings of Guilt you have
THERE is NO need to have the guilt hun
YOU have major health issues...........
Email me if you would like okay

God Blesss
LYN
Posted 12/22/2008 2:57 PM (GMT 0)
I don't know what dose of Xanax they gave you, but mine always prescribe the lowest dose .25 mg. I was thinking maybe you could take 1/2 tab of the Xanax and maybe that would help to quiet the anxious thoughts. I am truly sorry to hear about the passing of your Grandma. I have a chronic illness myself so I understand how frustrating it is when your health prevents you from doing things you want to. Don't be so hard on yourself about not going to your Grandma's funeral. I am sure she knew how much you loved her, and it sounds like Grandpa is very understanding too.

Hugs,
Gail *Nanners*
Posted 12/22/2008 3:20 PM (GMT 0)
nanners, maybe I will take half a pill. I just need something. I may go home early too. I just worry about my job since I've taken lots of sick time with dr visits and days I feel real bad. They're fairly understanding but I still worry. I did fill out the family medical leave thing so if I run out of sick time I can use that, plus it's in the hopes they can't fire me for taking time off. They already cut my hours back for me (my choice as I'm having problems with full time.)

Lyn, I'm not sure about free, man that would be nice! But I did call a dr just now and hope to hear from them soon. They do take my health insurance so I hope they'll see me, but it's a long drive from my house and work, which worries me. Driving is a big stress lately and the idea of having to go all the way out there to see them stresses me.
Posted 12/22/2008 3:21 PM (GMT 0)
Kris,

Some options for less expensive counseling are:

clinics/agencies that have a sliding pay scale
local universities with counseling/therapy programs
government assisted social welfare programs

You may want to see whether any of those are available in your area.

percycat
Posted 12/22/2008 6:51 PM (GMT 0)
I used to take Xanax. I took the exact dosage my psychiatrist prescribed. When I wanted to go off the Xanax to see if the panic attacks would still occur, the psych said to go off cold turkey. I ended up in a psych ward for 2 weeks with terrible physical/mental withdrawal symptoms. It was not a fun time. My point is, no matter what dose you're taking, whether it be a small dose or large, be careful as to how you go off these tranquilizers. I take Ativan now as needed. I cut the pills in half. Tranquilizers and anti-anxiety drugs are wonderful and I don't know where we would be without them. But please use care when going off of them.
Posted 12/22/2008 7:03 PM (GMT 0)

Hello Kris,

First of all guilt is a wasted emotion and your Grandpa understands so kick that emotion to the curb and lets deal with the others.

CBT is a great program to work through.

Cognitive-behavioral therapy is based on the idea that our thoughts cause our feelings and behaviors, not external things, like people, situations, and events. The benefit of this fact is that we can change the way we think.

There is a free, yes free online program and I am working through it myself right now.

Here is the link to the site, so click on it and register, it is a simple registration.  You can work through it at your own pace.

CBT

The MoodGym Training Program
http://moodgym.anu.edu.au/welcome

Never give up hope and know you may come here anytime you want to.  We are open 24/7.

Gentle Hugs

Kitt


Posted 12/22/2008 8:19 PM (GMT 0)
It is hard to loose a grandparent or loved one Kris. I have lost a few and take care of my grandmother now.

I'm sorry for your loss and hope you can find the help you need to properly grieve.

Take care!

P.S. There is a thread about losing loved ones and how to cope somewhere on here. Their are many of us going through a tough time now too.
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