Hello everyone... I'm new here so I guess first things first is to introduce and inform about
my problems. I'm not used to doing anything like this, I've always been the one to offer support and be the strong one that everyone can rely on. But here it goes....
I believe it all started when I was 3. My dad was in and out of my life from 3-8 and I have seen him since. My mom finally remarried when I was 14, didn't take to that to well. Having a new guy in the house after years of just my mom was hard to get used to not to mention his 5 kids that came with him.
In Dec of 2002 my grandpa died, in April of 2003 my step dad died of complications after gastric bypass surgery, and then in April of 2005 my little brother drowned while swimming at a local pool. All of these were horrible tragedies to get through and I was the rock for the family to hold onto. My mom is my best friend and to see her have to go through so much loss has torn me apart, but I will continue to be strong for her and let her know how much she mean.
Feb of 2008 I had my first panic attack, I had no idea what the heck was happening. I was driving on the freeway, when my left arm started to tingle and go numb, I got dizzy and my heart started beating really hard. I thought I was having a heart attack so I pulled over and called 911. After several Dr. appts it was determined that it was probly just a panic attack.
Oct of 2008 on a sunday after watching football all day I was sitting in my living room and my left leg was hurting pretty bad, I couldn't think of anything that would cause it to happen so my thoughts were something must be wrong with my heart and the blood isn't flowing right. Heart started pounding again and I was really close to driving to the hospital.
I knew what was happening both times but could do nothing to control it, I think that's what scares me most about
all of this. I have no control over it. I've always been in control and the one to take control of situations and now am helpless to the endless feeling of "what if's". I have been on lexipro know for close to 2 months and have felt much much better. There are still bad days but the bad days are nothing compared to what they used to be. The endless thoughts of what if my heart stops or what if my baby doesn't wake up in the morning or what if I'm going crazy!!! These thoughts have subsided alot and I only have to deal with them when my mind has nothing else to focus on.
I know I have been rambling for quit awhile but I am so grateful that I have found people that can relate to me now, it is so hard to try to explain to friends and family the feelings that one goes through.
Thanks for listening and cant wait to lesson and learn from all of you.
Note: I moved your Post to Part 5.......... 
Post Edited By Moderator (stkitt) : 2/11/2009 7:45:11 AM (GMT-7)