Sira,
Welcome to HealingWell and the A & P forum. IMHO I think you would benefit from therapy which helps most people with mental health issues.
When your fears have the best of you, it is easy to feel that things will not get any better. This is not true. There is much help available in today’s society and the best way to deal with your fears is to find effective ways to overcome them. Instead of focusing on doom, stay in the moment. Give yourself breathing space. Consider what matters to you. Establish a few manageable goals, then take small steps toward achieving them. Don’t try to stop everything at once as you may be setting yourself up for failure.
Please know coming here is a wonderful and courageous step. You are voicing your fears so you know what they are.
We do have a welcome thread for newbies I will bring to the top for you.
Again welcome to HealingWell and the A & P Family.
Kitt