Anxiety and depressed during the nighttime?

Hey guys, I'm having such a hard time dealing with nights. I get anxious, scared, depressed. It's been going on for a while, but worse now that I lost my ex boyfriend for good. I feel heartbroken, lonely, anxious.
Something inside me tell me it's not only about this breakup, but it's internal, it's about my internal conflicts and anxiety.

The nights are so horrible for me. I feel helpless.

I've been diagnosed with anxiety/panic and take meds, but during the day my hope and love for life is back... however, every night I feel like I'm never going to be fully happy or anxious free.

This break-up is not helping me either. For 3,5 years there was a person I shared everything with, now I can't even call him if I feel lonely. It was my choice. I wasn't in love. Last year, when I was strong, confident and anxiety free I broke up and was happy to be single. However, now that I lost him and my anxiety is bad I miss him SO much and my anxiety makes me believe it's about him and losing him but I know deep inside that this is about me dealing with my own anxious self.

How can I deal with this? Everyday is a new and bright day, every night is just horrible!!

Thank you SO much for your kind reply! It's SO strange because everyone that knows me, even my roomate, would never imagine I feel so alone because I have such an active life and am so energetic and upbeat. I also don't like to burden people, specially my parents/family with my problems.
I've been sharing more with my friends and people outside because of this break-up/stress with my ex-bf but it's been such a tough time for me. And it feels like us, anxiety sufferers, suffer 10x more than a normal person would with a break-up. I keep thinking about how I will cope with death or any other big life altering events because I've definetly become bad at dealing with them.
I broke up with my ex last year and I felt SO anxious free and cured for the first time in my life because it was like, gosh, I went through a break-up, a huge seperation and I'm fine. I'm happy.
However, after about 6 months when he finally moved on (he'd been broken and still very into me for months while I was happy) my world just crashed. It's been months of getting him back, slowly, he was coming back. He broke up with the girl he was seeing for me, even after I left him, but in the end, he left me. It's like 1 year later, I feel all the pain and emptiness I was scared about.

Sleepovers and going out with friends is the best for me during the night, however, I would like to have a more positive night time during my routine, my day to day. I normally feel disconnected and ready to have a panic attack. And hopeless and sad.

Thankfully, I wake up, get dressed, and it's a new day!

I just hate that I can't call my ex anymore and he's out of my life for good! =[ I wish I hadn't taken him for granted!

mom2three - Wow, your little description: "Panic Attacks (since age 10) & General Anxiety with a little OCD thrown in there" sounds very much like me.

I'm 21 and although I'm pretty in control of proper panic attacks and my therapist believe I only had a few properly full blown one, I suffer with general anxiety and anxiety attacks. What gets me a lot as well, like now with the constant ex debacle, are the obssessive thoughts. I don't have the compulsions at all, but the obssessive thoughts hunt me.

I guess what is making me happy now is that I'm anxious and depressed over a proper real issue (the bf) and not crazy anxious thoughts (going crazy, dying, and all the freaky/scary symptoms we create for ourselves).

The obsessive thoughts are the WORST. I will get the same image or thought in my mind and it runs circles nonstop out of control (everything from something horrific happening to my daughter to my neighbor not liking the flowers I planted!). I currently take a low dose of an SSRI to help me combat the obsessive ruminations. I just can't stop them myself. My new therapist has some alternative techniques that we are going to work on like "thought stop/thought replace" and all that jazz, so we'll see if it works.
Yes, I guess there is a positive to obsessing about a boy rather than the usual death and going crazy (those two are definitely on my list!)

Exactly! It's SO crazy. At night I feel on the verge of a breakdown and in the morning, well after I've gotten myself out of bed and am well into my day I'm always like, huh, why was I worrying so much at night?? It's a childhood thing, obviously. Since a little girl I've NEVER slept alone. I've always been scared of it. And my parents fighting in the middle of the night used to make me SO scared. Now they are seperated, happy, get along very well and I'm stuck with the echoes of their horrible relationship!! I love them SO much, but ugh parents, thanks!

I'm having a horrible night today! I'm SO tired that I get that diconnected feeling, but the feeling is SO strong that I get SO scared I can't sleep. So it's like, I'm SO exhausted that it causes me anxiety, and because of the anxiety/fear this exhaustion won't go away because I can't sleep.

I hate feeling diconnected/dreamy... I can't even concentrate properly right now. I know I need some rest and I'll feel better in the morning, but I'm just scared of sleeping. Oh well... Trying to come online and take my thoughts from the fears for a while.

Thanks Ben.

Like always, I fell asleep just fine after a few hours of stupid worrying and being scared of nothing. I'm at work now but am tired because I couldn't sleep that well because I was scared with this horrible anexiety.

I didn't end up in the hospital, I didn't lose my mind, I'm here, alive, healthy, and at work.

I just need to re-read this when I get SO anxious again during the night.

Brazil,

A couple things. Are you sure you're not in love with the ex-boyfriend? You may want to think about that. You've had a year to miss him and maybe feelings have changed.

Nights are often the worst time for people who suffer with anxiety/panic attacks. I'm not sure why. I'm the opposite. I feel anxious the entire time the sun is up in the sky.

Lastly, do not let any negative self talk into your head at night. When you begin to question whether or not you'll ever be happy, etc., tell yourself things will get better. Busy yourself with a hobby, reading, or cleaning. By calmly distracting your mind you will learn that the evenings are a nice time to relax and you'll begin to enjoy them. Good luck!

Ugh, another crappy night. I'm at home with my parents and I'm supposed to feel good and sleep well. However, it's Carnaval and the music outside is SO loud. It's IMPOSSIBLE for me to concentrate and sleep.

When my stress levels are this high and I'm this tired I feel more dreamy/unreal/disconnected than usual. That's the scariest anxiety symptom.

I realllyyy need to sleep but it's 3am and this music will probably only stop around 6-7am. Damm brazilians. I guess at least I have the whole day to sleep tomorrow. I just wish I could re-read that I'll be fine when I get some sleep and not feeling dreamy/disconnected, but when we feel this way, it feels like it will never get better. I feel like I'll never be able to sleep again and will feel like this forever.

Gosh, I hate stressful periods, my ex boyfriend causing these insecurities, and just anxiety in general for just coming back right when we think we are cured and ready to lead normal lives.

Hi, mom2threee, and Brazilgirl! Im So Happy that im not alone. I do feel like i have OCD sometimes ,because i do get extremly scared of dying , or going crazy, and not being in control of my own self. And i do feel more fearful when i am by myself and at night, and sometimes when i first get up. I hate this feeling. But, it does pass eventually. I cant wait for the spring and summer time . So that i can be out doors more often. I also am a mom of 2 children, that i love with ALL OF MY HEART! I hope and pray for all of us .