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I dont know what's wrong with me....

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Posted 3/8/2009 11:43 AM (GMT 0)
I really dont!  I have been struggling with panic attacks for so many years, I know better.  But does that stop me, NO! It doesnt.  I'm having a bit of an attack now - coming down from one and just need to vent.  Today, I had a really fun day.  But I overate, and I drank alcohol.  I also drank last night....quite a bit I admit.  Now, I'm up wanting to throw up and have had a full blown attack.  My stomach is a mess, due to the years of anxiety, yet I still abuse it. And then here I am....4:30 in the morning, sick, thinking I'm going to have a heart attack and die.  It's so ridiculous.  I think because I have had these attacks more under control, that I'm okay and it's okay for me to drink, etc., and I fool myself time and time again.  I need to stop this, it's not worth it.  Anyway....just needed to write this out to make myself realize that I need help. 
Posted 3/8/2009 12:33 PM (GMT 0)
Hi Jndejmes!

Don't beat yourself up too much! It is ridiculous, but that's all part of it. It's tough to change and develop new habits - even when we know that our current ones are causing us harm.

It's been a hard pill to swallow for me, but many things/habits that I enjoy cause panic attacks for me. It took me years, but I finally had to decide if it was worth it. Overeating + alcohol definitely do it (either alone or together). I love wine and was a huge social drinker...but I had to put alcohol behind me - granted, my husband was entering recovery a few years ago, so it wasn't too tough. I still overeat sometimes - I'm a small person, so it just makes me so sick and then my heartburn/indigestion/whatever triggers an attack. I know it, but I would be lying if I said that I never overeat!

Anyway, we are here to help, so feel free to vent anytime :)
Posted 3/8/2009 2:47 PM (GMT 0)
Hi Jndejmes!


Good Morning, this is Kitt and go easy on yourself. You hit a bump in the road and  you realized that what happens when you drink is still not a good place to go so file this away in your memory and try not to let it happen again.

We are all human, yes even you, and beating yourself up will just make you feel worse so forgive yourself and keep on moving ahead.

We are here for you.


Kitt

Posted 3/8/2009 2:53 PM (GMT 0)
I have Crohns Disease along with my anxiety and I will go along feeling pretty good with my Crohns and then go all crazy and eat something I shouldn't and then I always pay for it the next day. Don't beat yourself up too much, I think we all get ourselves in trouble once in awhile. I would take Stkitt's advice, don't beat yourself up, just make the effort not to do again.

Giant Hugs,
Gail *Nanners*
Posted 3/8/2009 9:39 PM (GMT 0)
Hey! Hope you're feeling better now.....you titled your thread, "I don't know what's wrong with me". Yes, you do. You over ate and drank alcohol. You need to remember you can not do those things. Like others said, go easy on yourself. We all slip back into bad habits. Learn from them and try to move on....take care!
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