Help me... I desperately need it.

Hi there, im 14 years old and I live in a world of worry. Im in a relationship I have been for five months, and I love my girlfriend dearly. But I fear I will lose her to my problem. I worry too much on things that haven't happened yet or even know of. Like for example, I'll not talk to my girlfriend for a couple hours and ill think shes mad at me! When really she's only been cleaning her room or she doesnt have her phone with her. I know this stresses her out and probably annoys her. I ask her questions like; "Are you mad at me?" or "Are we okay?" Just stupid little things like that. Shes a great girl and i'd be very very very depressed if I EVER lost her. Maybe so depressed I would not eat for days and would sleep for hours on end! I just dont get it, I worry so much about stupid little things that aren't true. Now her sister tells me its a habit, but I think its a disorder because Im always feeling worried, you know that feeling you get inside you when your really worried. i have that usually 24/7. Im afraid to tell my parents i have some kind of problem because im afraid they'll think im a freak! Ive tried numours of things. Things that are so crazy I wont even tell you. I just want my girlfriend to be happy, when im with her we're so happy, I dont have that worry in my body or even think about her being mad at me or something like that! I play guitar and write music, it has helped a little, but not enough to get rid of the worry and stress. When my girlfriend and I are together, we cuddle, hug, kiss and all that stuff. Tell each other how much we love each other and what not, everything is amazing and beautiful. Im HAPPY, actully happy. SHes the only thing I get out of bed for. I buy her things and try to make her happy. It works too, she is so happy when I buy her a necklace or something. I just need help fighting this worry and stress. Anything helps! But remember im 14. Thanks! I appreciate it.

I too think maybe you should talk with your Mom about this anxiety. It sounds like you would be helped with either some therapy or medication. I hope you open up to your Mom soon.

Big Hugs,
Gail *Nanners*

Phobia:

Welcome and your among others with the same issues. I recently learned a few things regarding anxiety which seem to have helped me a great deal.

1. Anxiety is not an indication you are going "crazy", in fact, it is far from that! Your mind is soo active that is is always working up new creative outcomes to situations that really will not occur! It is actually the opposite of crazy, your mind is simply in high gear!
2. There is a "regulator" inside our brain that regulates between safe and danger. This area of the brain is not larger than a wallnut! For some reason, this regulator is in the "danger zone" so to speak due to the creative situations we generate as mentioned above. Just tell yourself that this wallnut is not going to control my life! This sounds funny, but it has heleped me a great deal!
3. Relax. Just sit in a chair or lay on a bed and breath in through the nose and out through the mouth. To he point where it sounds like waves coming in and out. Do this a few times a day, even when there are no signs of anxiety. This also helps maintain a "balanced" feeling through the day.
I know this sounds corney, but trust me it does work. Also, just keep in your mind, you are not alone. It is unreal how many people have anxiety issues but dont talk about it. Lately I have been honest about it with coworkers and family and find that they also at one point in thei rlife also had issues with anxiety or have had medication to control it.
Stay positive and THINK positive!

Phobia,

Good Morning, you have received some really good advice here from the members.  I would like to see you check out the link I posted to you as it is geared to teens and you may find some answers from your peers that are going through the same thing as you are.

We are here to  support and advise but you are the one that has to do the work.  benzsl gave you great advice, please try some of the things posted.

Gentle Hugs

Kitt

I have two daughters. This is why I don't want them having boyfriends. Teenagers are too young to deal with the emotional stuff that comes along with relationships. I'm not sure why you're worrying all the time. I do know you need someone to talk to. You can definitely keep coming on here. If your mom doesn't get it, perhaps speaking to the school psychologist or counselor will help. What about your father? A therapist would be good, too.

I also want you to know that if this relationship were to end, you would be okay. You were fine before this girlfriend, and you'll be fine after. Have faith in yourself. You're probably a strong person and it's amazing what we can go through.

When your thoughts turn to worries try to focus on something else. You need to retrain your thinking. Watch t.v., clean your room, go for a walk, start a hobby....any of these things will help. Please let us know how things go!