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Posted 5/13/2009 4:14 PM (GMT 0)
Hi my name is Jennara.  I am 23.  I have a 5 month old daughter named Jerrica.  I have been having problems with panic attacks, health anxiety, and GAD since I was 13.  Wow, I just realized, 10 years.  Thought I'd have a better handle on this by now!  Anyway, the biggest issue for me is the health anxiety.  Thats what sends me screaming to the ER about once a month.  I feel like I'm always on edge of panic.  Even when I'm as calm as I get, I go from 0 to 10 on the panic scale in about 10 seconds.  All it takes is one little thing to feel off.  I HATE it!  I try so many things and still, I panic!  Like I get these swollen lumps on my neck everytime my sinuses start acting up and that makes me worry so much!  Like, what if they swelled up and closed my throat?  Or what if this is some kinda infection that could kill me?  Just anything out of the ordinary that happens, sends me into panic mode.  So many things can go wrong with the human body!  I dont take anti depressants.  Not yet anyway.  I still want to fight this with out as long as I can.  I want to fight the fears I have and try to stop reacting the way I do.  I have to learn how to do that and practice.  If that fails, this time next year I will give in and take an anti-depressant.  Or if I get really depressed before then.  I know they do help a lot for a lot of ppl. 

I would very much like to meet some ppl in the same struggle as me!  I have read a few things on here that I can directly relate to.  That makes me feel good.  I look forward to getting to know everyone!

Jennara

Posted 5/13/2009 4:38 PM (GMT 0)

Jennara,

Welcome to HealingWell and the A & P Forum. I know you will be meeting other members that also have Health Anxiety so I hope you will stick with us.

I am glad to see you say you will not give up the battle with anxiety.

Peace,

Kitt

Posted 5/13/2009 4:45 PM (GMT 0)

Hi Jennera...I developed SEVERE health anxiety when my husband and I lost our health insurance after a move to another state...we are in our early 60's and would literally have to win the lottery to be able to afford the premiums in NY. I keep thinking at our age, anything could go wrong and what would we do...sell our house to pay the bill...cash in our retirement account...

Anyway, I became horrified at every little lump, scrape, fever, headache...you know what I mean.  I do have some legitimate conditions that cause me pain and discomfort, but I have learned to be able to tell the difference between anxiety and my other disorders.

My advice to you is to NOT Google your symptoms...ever!  Doing that put me in such a panic I ended up going to the doc and being put on an anti depressant.  I will say it did help with my health anxities and maybe you should consider trying one.  They have helped many people.  I started out by cutting the pill in tiny pieces and working my way up and I didn't suffer any side effects.  I am trying to wean off now, slowly.

I will also say that this forum is kind and gentle...many are not.  No one here will scare you with cyber-diagnoses like so many of the other anxiety forums do. (am I allowed to say that...LOL)

My son is deputy director of Mental Health for the tri state area in NC.  He has sent me all kinds of info on health anxiety.  94% of those of us who think we have a horrible disease, DO NOT!

It's a struggle, but you can get through it.

Hugs

Donna


Posted 5/13/2009 5:32 PM (GMT 0)
Thank you Donna and Kitt!! I do go to a therapist. I find it helps but only a little. I still struggle with the on edge feeling. I take .5mgs of klonopin twice a day most days. Some days I only take it once. I'm having a good two days because I didnt take any lastnight and I slept good. I havent taken any yet today eather. Its highly unusual for me to be able to go this long but I am happy about it!

Its just that I have a really hard time distinguishing between whats dangerous and whats not. I mean, when something out of the ordinary happens to your body, how do you know what it is? How do you know its not dangerous? A head ach could mean tension. It could also mean a tumor. Chest pain could mean indegestion. It could also mean a heart attack. I know its very unlikely that I would have a heart attack at 23 but you get what I'm saying. All I need is the small possibility that what I'm feeling could be something serious, then I unintentionally focus on that possibility. Like I cant stop the panic until I KNOW what it is.

Also, I feel like life is short all the time. And like I'm living on borrowed time I guess you'd say. I feel like its just all going to end so soon and its just so easy to die! Just one thing going wrong.

Right now I am trying to quit smoking. Its hard and I have cut down to about 2 cigarettes a day now. My biggest health concern right now is my lungs. I woke up a few times recently feeling like I had to catch my breath. The thing is, when I went to bed those nights I felt like my lungs were clogged or something. I thought I was just worrying over nothing and ignored it though. I have a rescue inhaler but have you ever used one of those? Its good for REAL asthma but it can make you so jittery! It does me! I'd like to hear from someone that has feared having lung problems and really thought they felt lung problems and then found out they didnt have any. I'm hopeing thats what it is for me! I'm going to talk about this with my doctor as well. I have before and thats when he just gave me the inhaler. I'd like to see a specialist just to be sure though.
Posted 5/13/2009 6:34 PM (GMT 0)
All they symptoms you are describing fit the profile for panic and anxiety. I think what would be best for you is to go to your family doc and get a good physical. Once all the tests come back normal, then you will know that its just the dang a/p kicking in again. Good luck!
Posted 5/13/2009 7:53 PM (GMT 0)
Hi Jennara and welcome to the family. Don't worry I also have health anxiety or as my best friend tells me I am a hypocondriac. I believe every little issue results in death. Right now I am worried because I am having these sharp pains on one side of my head my doc. Says its from clenching my teeth constantly or possibly TMJ I have had these achs and pains for going on 3 years and every time I feel them like this I think the worst. I agree with Donna DO NOT google symptoms (even though sometimes I still do) because it will only scare you more. The best thing is to talk to your doc. And tell him or her everything and don't be afraidto ask them to check for whatever you think is wrong you'll feel beter knowing its not as bad as you thought.

Nelle
Posted 5/13/2009 9:57 PM (GMT 0)
Hi

You have had some great advice so I would just like to say hi and welcome to healing well this really is a great place to come and speak to others who understand what you are going through.
Posted 5/14/2009 2:11 PM (GMT 0)
Hi there Jannara, welcome to healingwell.com. isn't it a fabulous community?

I was talking about things that comfort me, and focusing on them when I am having a panic attack or anxiety attack, in one of my previous posts. Which were Diazhapam which really helps me to relax (aka valium) and a friend of mine, who is really good to talk to about these types of things. I am starting to feel very comforted just by this forum.. Just knowing people out there are going through the same things, and there are ways of getting back on track and feeling better! With everyone's experiences and the things they learn along the way, and when they share all of this, it really helps a lot of people! This forum is a savior!! I thank everyone at healingwell.com for setting this up and getting things going!! and once again Jannara, welcome aboard!
Posted 5/14/2009 2:18 PM (GMT 0)
Thank you again for the warm welcome! I'm happy to be here! Happy to be apart of something everyone seems to find so much comfort in! I plan to spend the day reading all the posts I can. Seeing what I can relate to.

Thanks again everyone!

Jen
Posted 5/14/2009 2:56 PM (GMT 0)
Welcome Jennara - I'm new here myself. I'm sorry you have a reason to be here though, anxiety is no cake walk!

My first even bought with anxiety I was worried that I had a heart problem, went to the ER for an EKG, and everything was normal. I can relate to the lung thing though as that's what my anxiety is about this time. I haven't woken up feeling like I had to catch my breath. But I've been having the feeling that I can't get a full, satisfying breathe sometimes. I had some heartburn last night & associated it with my liungs and was convinced that I had lung cancer this morning. It's really terrible to feel this way.

I too have a baby, he's 6mos old. I hate that it's gotten this outta control because I want to enjoy every second with him. But it's hard to 100% enjoy him when I'm having anxiety this bad. But I hope your able to take comfort knowing that other's have experienced what you have.
Posted 5/14/2009 5:06 PM (GMT 0)
Hello! My daughter will be 6 months on the 16th. It is hard to deal with the anxiety with a baby. I want to enjoy my daughter every moment I can and its really hard!

I'm just so ahhhhh panic! Its so hard! I worry constanly about my health and mine used to be my heart too. I had it checked several times before I was able to believe that its ok. Now its on to my lungs. You know, bc fear of not being able to breath is the worst!

How do you associate heart burn with your lungs? I have done that too. I think like the regurgitation is going to get into my lungs in my sleep and cause lung problems. I also worry that I might have lung cancer or copd or asthma. I worry about this all day everyday and all my doctor has done is give me an inhaler. Well, I havent smoked a cigarette in 2 days so thats good.

I do take comfort in knowing I'm not alone! I'm really starting to LOVE this site! Thank you to whoever came up with it!

Jen
Posted 5/14/2009 5:57 PM (GMT 0)
My son turned 6mos on the 1st, so they aren't that far apart! And I'm 24yrs old.

I associated the heartburn/acid reflux with my lungs because I woke up in the middle of the night last night with a burning in my chest. I didn't even think heartburn/acid reflux at first, my thoughts automatically just assumed I had something horrible that I was going to die from like pneumonia or lung cancer.

I really do feel for everyone that has to experience it. I don't like the feeling like I don't have control over my thoughts & dwell on them. When I have a huge anxiety attack like I'm having now, it seems to take about 1-2wks to get back to normal, where I'm not panicking daily. But then I'm still on edge for awhile worrying that it's going to get really bad again.

Do you have a good support system? Even though being around people never takes my anxiety away, I'd hate for someone to have to deal with it alone. I actually called my OB just about an hr ago (unfortunally she's out until Monday, darnit!) to see if she would give me something for anxiety. I called her because she knows my story/situation & I want something that I won't have to wean myself off of if I get pregnant again because my husband & I aren't preventing.

Idk if I can share my email on here - But maybe sometime we could email, or if you have myspace? Just if you need someone to talk to :)
[email protected]

-Lacey-
Posted 5/14/2009 7:56 PM (GMT 0)
I'm sorry you are feeling bad right now! I was this morning for a long time! I'm a single mother. My daughter's father is in her life but not much. I have a new boyfriend though and hes supportive. He doesnt fully understand but hes trying.

I used to feel like I didnt have control over my thoughts. I keep so busy between my boyfriend and daughter and trying to go back to school. I find keeping busy helps some. I have my WORST days like today when I dont have much to do. I can be doing a lot but if my mind isnt totally into it, I still get nervous! The best time for me is when my daughter is asleep and me and my boyfriend are just talking. He lets me vent and thats good for me. He likes to learn about me so that makes me happy.

How is your support system?

I'll put my email address on here and you can get it from clicking on the mail pic on the left side. I figured that out today.

Jen
Posted 5/15/2009 10:03 AM (GMT 0)
Jen - Well I'm very glad to hear that you have someone for support! I know it's hard to understand in the beginning, but that's so great that he's letting you talk & vent when you need to! I know it helps me alot to talk to my hubby, I just need to get these crazy feelings out & for someone to confirm that I'm ok!

My support has been great, thankfully. My mom & hubby are the ones that will listen to me vent, and my two teenage sisters are supportive as well. My hubby does have to show a little tough love sometimes, because if not, I think I'd be worse sometimes!
Posted 5/15/2009 11:55 AM (GMT 0)
Yeah when I get really bad with the health anxiety my boyfriend will get on to me a little bit. He'll say, "Stop checking youre pulse! Its still beating". Stuff like that. He says he thinks a lot of my problems stem from insecurities. Hes trying to help me build a better self esteem. I know I need to do that! As of right now, I wouldnt want to be with me if I was him or anybody else for that matter. I feel like all I do is ruein lives with my petty problems. He says at least once or twice a day, "Stop beating yourself up"! Easier said than done I guess.

I'm lucky to have the support though. My daughter is a very good baby! Shes already sleeping all through the night so that helps with my sleep too. Shes pretty quiet happy baby. I'm just trying to make sure I'm the best mother I can be for her.

This morning my neck is sore. I musta slept funny. I'm not worried about it. Last week I got up fine and when I got in the shower I was washing my hair and moved my head the wrong way and something popped in my neck and HURT! It was so bad! I thought I was going to die! The pain wasnt unbearable, it was mostly the panic about the pain. The thoughts that went with it. Isnt it always?

I'm glad you have a good support system as well! Its important! Did you get my email down? Feel free to email me anytime. Maybe we could set up a time and we can chat. Is your email yahoo? If so we can chat on there or we can chat in this chat room on here. It doesnt matter. If you want to.

Jen

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