Am I going crazy

I remember experiencing panic attacks even as a young child. Back then I didn't know they were panic attacks I just thought..oh here I am getting nervous about something again. I always overthought things, and whenever I had a headache I thought something was seriously wrong with me (it probably didn't help my mom would think the worst too) . I remember having an extreme fear of fainting when I was in middle school, and in high school I went through a phase of thinking I was going to choke on food.
Anyways. Last September I started experiencing extreme panic attacks, the worst I can remember thus far. I tried finding something to blame it on, which I think is a natural reaction. I blamed the fact I had just started getting into a serious relationship, or that in early September I went to a festival and tripped off of magic mushrooms, or that college was just starting to become overly stressful.
I looked online and immediately thought I had developed some sort of condition like 'paranoid psychosis' or schizophrenia from the mushrooms.
The past 9 months since then have been a rollercoaster of emotions. For weeks everything will seem ok (with a few episodes here and there) and then for a week straight I will experience butterflies in my stomach, and a fear of everything! I become afraid of seriously everytthing around me.

Around december (2008) I found out my uncle was diagnosed with 'paranoid psychosis', and let me tell you this was the last thing I needed to hear.
I started thinking that I was going crazy, and that I was turning into my uncle.
And now I can't get it out of my mind.
I keep worrying that I'm going to become paranoid about things.
I jokingly said a few months back I thought there was something in the water where I live, because there seems to be an abundance of depressed people. I started fearing I believed it, or that I was going to go crazy.

It's a really horrible feeling, and I haven't been to a doctor yet.
I try to talk to my boyfriend and parents about it but they don't seem to have anything to say.
Of course, if someone had approached me with this problem I don't know if I could have an answer either.

It's frustrating and I am crying as I write this.
I'm afraid of my mind almost, and I've realized in the past few months just how powerful the human brain is.

Thanks for any help you can send my way.
I'm going to continue trying, I just want to feel normal again.

daisy37,
Your story is very similar to mine. That's the beauty of this site. You will find so many people with similar problems.

I think a lot of times people with anxiety will focus on some self diagnosis based on our limited knowledge and abundant imagination. For me it was a tumor or anuerysim or some other physiological abnormality in my head that I couldn't see. For you, the fear seems to relate more to your sanity, probably due to your uncle's situation.

The most helpful and yet most difficult thing for us to do is to accept these thoughts and feelings for exactly what they are; excessive anxiety. Once you do that, it becomes much easier to control. Then instead of "oh no I'm going crazy" it becomes "there's that anxiety thing again".

You're right. The human brain is a powerful thing. I think everyone here knows that all too well. I envy the people who can bumble through life without having all these strange thoughts. Maybe the problem is that our brains are more powerful than most. That's a nice little silver lining isn't it?