I need your support please

Dannii

Sorry to hear you had a panic attack how are you feeling today? Im glad you went to see your doctor and that he/she has taken some action by increasing your medication.  I can relate to why you are anxious about this increase but think you should stick with it and see if it helps you out.  Any change in medication will give you side effects but these do pass once your body has got used to the new dose of the medication.  Have you ever considered therapy?  such as cbt as this has good results with people with anxiety related mental health problems and might be something you want to look into.  I hope you are feeling a lot better today and please keep posting and let us know how you are getting on.

Take Care

Ben

My dearest Friends,

Ben, thank you for your response and your concern, and Kitt i appreciate you always being here for us, you're such an angel.

My day yesterday was very slow in the morning but the afternoon was good as I felt energetic and slightly hyper which is very strange for me.
The side effects of immediately doubling the dose of Paxil have been taking me for a ride though. The diarrhea is persistent though under control but i had no appetite all day. I only had a small meal at night. I slept well but again Paxil makes me pop my head up at 5 am each morning like clock work. Not a good thing for a person with OCD, an idle mind makes me think of all the worst.

Hence today my morning was sad. It all happens in the bathroom , confined alone with the door closed, thoughts invade me and i succumb to thought OCD. I start doubting everything that i thought was all good the night before.

It's very odd how painful and sad my mornings are compared to the afternoons and the nights where i feel normal and able to control my OCD and let go of the silly thoughts.
I wonder if this is a sign of bipolar?

I have one last confession to make before i go to work late today. Why is it that only when i talk to you about my issues ( i mean write them) that i start to feel better and get ready to face the day. Am I a desperate person who is in constant need of help and assurance? Am I depending a bit too much on you guys?
I hope i did not say too much to put everyone on this forum off me. Accept my apologies for rambling again.

Grateful to have you ALL!

Danni,

Good Morniing and join my club, mornings are my bad times. I wake up and try to stomp down the bad "stinkin thinkin" but it often overwhelms me as I wonder what I will do each day and with whom and why I am even here on some days...........  I do much better when I am scheduled to work that day.  I will usually get a grip after coming here and responding to others as helping others makes me feel better.  :)

One of the best remedies for anxiety is to talk about it. Here's where good friends and family can come in. The old adage "A problem shared is a problem halved" comes into its own here, and that is most likely why you feel better after you have post to your HW family. 

Remember, support groups are a place for people to give and receive both emotional and practical support as well as to exchange information. People with health conditions, as well as their friends and families find support groups to be a valuable resource and get confirmation that their feelings are "normal", educate others, or just let off steam. IMHO joining a support group is joining a family.  You have not said to much.......we are here for you.

Gentle Hugs

Kitt

I think you instantly feel better after posting on here because you're acknowledging your feelings and fears. You know we suffer as you do. It always helps to talk to someone who knows what you're going through.

Anyway to not be confined in the bathroom in the mornings? Perhaps do your make-up in your room? Maybe shower at night so you don't have to in the mornings? Or, repeat to yourself while in the bathroom that it is just anxiety. It will pass. Your feelings are harmless. Eventually these episodes will stop.

I sure hope you feel better today!!

Hi to All my wonderful friends on the forum,

Thank you all for your wonderful comments and for making me feel like i belong. I feel blessed and privileged to have you as my companions through this journey.

I have tried most of your tips and fortunately they are all coming handy.
Thank you sylknmyst for the advice.I now leave the bathroom door ajar and it reduces the anxiety.
I also discovered that playing music slightly loud in the flat reduces my feeling of loneliness and at times i catch myself humming along. (does not always work though as some mornings are still bad).

However on days when i feel good and lifted like today i cannot help but acknowledge all those of you who helped me get here.
The side effects of upping the paxil dose to 50 mg have finally subsided which has given me more time to divert my thoughts. I still however have my compulsions.

My latest compulsion is excessive use of bandages. As a person who nibbles cuticles that bleed at times i now have bandages on 6 of my fingers. If i see as much as a small scratch or abrasion on my skin that does not even bleed i cover it with a bandage. I think i have developed a fear of blood or bleeding and a phobia of contracting germs or viruses through open wounds. It does get severe sometimes. People laugh at me at work but i cannot help it as bandages make me feel safe and prevent me from catching diseases ( Or so i feel).

Two days ago one guy whom i hardly know at work called me crazy to my face for doing this! At the time i felt sad and hid away in an office. but later on i came round to forgive him for he does not know what i go through each day. I don't know if i can get over the bandage issue. any advice out there?

Thank you all for making me feel accepted in society, for baring with me and for making me feel normal at times when others don't even have a clue.
I want to share my good day with all of you out there, wishing you a marvelous day full of warmth and peace of mind.

Lots oh hugs

Dannii

Hi Dannii,

I would suggest going and getting your nails done. It helped me stop biting mine. I loved the way they looked all painted. I get air brush and love to show them off. Plus the taste of the acrylic is gross and you're less likely to bite them.

I wouldn't replace one habit with another. Personally you should check in to some antiseptic spray. Instead of putting a bandaid on your scratches use the spray instead. Again it will taste horrible and you wont want to put that in your mouth. And it will fight off germs where bandaids do not. Bandaids really just help keep dirt and basic junk from entering the wound. In order to prevent germs you need something to actually fight and keep them from entering the affected area. A bandaid does not stop air flow which in turn does not stop germs. It does help prevent just not a total defense.

Bandaids are my winner for my kids. If they get a scratch rather bleeding or not. Its their fix for the problem. So I can understand the "need" to cover it up. But you can do just as well if not better with an antibacterial spray.
Useing the spray will be less noticeable and should help with your onset of fear of germs. As it is better!! And you wont look like a walking advertisement for Bandaids!!

Wishing you well and peace of mind
Cary-Ann