Feeling very low and anxious.

Hi

I am feeling very low at the moment and my depression seems to be getting worse and anxiety kicking in about all sorts of things which are going on in my life at the moment. I just seem to be in the constant cycle of anxiety/depression and one seems to affect the other and I am struggling to cope with these feelings, I know I should try and stay positive about things and stay in the moment but that is hard when im feeling so depressed. I am not happy at work and find it a struggle to get through the day and have had a few moments were i just want to cry and have had to hold back the tears, I am looking for a new job but don't feel up to putting myself through the stress and anxiety of going for an interview and fear rejection. Its been over a year now since I had my diagnosis of GAD/Depression although I have suffered with these for as long as I can remember and its really sinking in how hard it is going to be to get myself out of this hole i have found myself in. I have still not heard a start date for my CBT and im anxious to get started and start to confront these feelings and try and manage them to or more reasonable level were they don't affect my life so much. Im finding it hard being single and not having that special someone to talk and share things with and feeling really depressed about this but don't have the confidence to go out and meet new people as my anxiety takes over and all I want to do is leave and head home. I let my problems and worries build up and then i find my self in a situation like i am now and find it hard to talk to people about it which is why i like to come here although i don't like to vent i find it helps to right things down and i also like to help others here on HW if i can, my parents have been very supportive and have helped me which im very grateful. I am sick of always feeling tired and if i could only get my sleeping patterns back to normal im sure things would improve for me. Thanks for listening.


Ben

I am really sorry to hear you are having such a hard time right now. I can't believe how long they are taking to get you into the CBT, thats not right. In the meantime, I am going to give you the website for the online CBT, maybe you can work on that for now. Be sure to come here and vent anytime you need, we are always here for you.

http://moodgym.anu.edu.au/welcome

Big Hugs,
Gail *Nanners*

Hi Ben,

I am really feeling for you. I have had to wait a month to begin my CBT due to my doc's schedule. She's a rotating resident in the psych dept at the teaching hospital which somehow affected her ability to see me on a weekly basis for a while. Hang in there!

As for being single, I know how that can feel like the pits when you're dealing with all these roller coaster emotions. I have been there, too, and there were weeks when I wouldn't leave my bed because I felt like no on would understand what was going on. It took too much energy to explain it to my friends and even then I didn't want them to think I was weird. Also, my family was supportive but not with me all the time and not able to connect with me on the same level a significant other would. They tend to take a more nurturing, "fix it" approach to your problems.

But, with that being said, dealing with these issues is not always easier with a boyfriend/girlfriend. I lost a boyfriend over my issues years ago because he simply couldn't relate to my feelings and struggles. My boyfriend now is amazingly kind and patient and supportive, but even then, it's tough. I almost think sometimes it's easier to get on your own two feet by yourself without the additional worry of the fallout affecting someone else.

Long story short, it's never easy. Even when you have someone in my opinion. You still have to go through a lot of your mental suffering by yourself and with your therapist.

Again, hang in there. Thank you for always supporting me and I will do my best to look out for you on here as well.

xo

Ben,

Once you get past that hurdle of actually going out and meeting new people, just be confident in yourself and know that someone will admire and love you, even with your mental "specialties" as I like to call them. If they don't get it, that just signifies that is not the right person for you with the right level of emotional maturity and/or understanding and/or patience, etc. It is that person's loss.

I also had to learn to give people a chance. Too often I would run away from wonderful people because I perceived them to be unable to give me the support and empathy I needed. In fact, I think was just afraid of commitment and that's a whole other story.

What I also learned, is that you have to be a bit vulnerable.  Vulnerability breeds trust and bonding in a relationship. Not that you should dump all your problems on a girl within the first few weeks. That could scare her away. But, gradually open up and allow her to see you as you are. Confide in her about your feelings and your issues. It is better for her to understand, especially if you have a panic attack or something. That way she knows what you are going through rather than assuming you are acting weird because of something she did or said. I for one adore when a person, male or female, can be vulnerable. It signifies to me that they care enough about me and our relationship to open themselves and trust me.

Good luck with your CBT! When I start mine we can compare notes :)

Take care, Ben. 

Maz

Thanks for your continued support I will check out moodgym, as i said I did complete half a few months back so will log back on as i can see the benefit of doing it. Hopefully I will here soon about the CBT and get started on that sooner rather than later. I hope all is well with you Maz? and im really pleased you have become a Mod as i know you will do a great job.

belablue,

Thanks for the great advice and support, You made a lot of good points in your reply to my post and I do need to give people a chance. I find it frustrating that people don't understand what its like to have anxiety/depression and tend to only have a few close friends who i feel do understand but then i tend to avoid others and I get anxious that people see me as hard to get on with. Good luck with your CBT and know I am here if you need support my friend.


Ben

Aries

Thank you so much for your support your right we both seem to be going through rough times at the moment and it is very tiring and depressing to feel traped in this cycle of anxiety/depression. You give great advice and agree that these feelings are temporary and maybe i do need to tell myself that more and try and stay positive but as you can apreciate it is hard. My job is making me depressed as i dont get on with my managers any more and im paranoid about them wanting to get rid of me. I am not doing the things i love to do as much due to being so tired so have not been windsurfing or climbing for a while now which does really fustrate me. Aries thanks again for your support we can get through this together and i hope things are well with you my friend.

Ben