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Posted 7/20/2009 2:52 AM (GMT 0)
sniff. I miss my old recovery site. sniff. what a depressing sad night this is. maybe I should drink or do somethin' else. I feel like a failure, I feel like my mind is deteriorating everyday... my memory ain't right, it just ain't right... I can't remember enough, if you told me 10 people's names like introducing me to them I wouldn't remember em or would get them mixed up, it's pathetic, it sounds like I'm doomed, don't it? I mean seriously ... god darn it ... what my problem is I don't know!
Posted 7/20/2009 2:56 AM (GMT 0)
No, Paulos, you shouldn't have a drink. Keep your mind on positive things. Sitting and thinking about sad things or events will only make you more depressed. You can break this cycle but you really have to want to. Make sure this is not a habit. A habit of looking for bad things in your life. Maybe thinking you don't deserve to be happy. This is bull. Stay positive, stay in the present and find something fun, relaxing to do. Hang in there!
Posted 7/20/2009 3:56 PM (GMT 0)
Paulos,

You've contributed a lot of positive things to this site, and you've risked opening up here about how you're feeling and what you're going through. Yes, some of it is bad and makes you feel low, but it doesn't mean that you are of low value.

For what it's worth, I would get 10 names mixed up too, but if your memory has always been one of your strengths, it likely does fluster you when you feel it's slipping. Remember that we all have ups and downs as far as our energy and our abilities go. Today's a rough day, but tomorrow is a new day that doesn't have to be held down by today's old baggage.

Definitely don't take that drink. You know it won't help nearly so much as it has the power to hurt.

Hugs to you,
percycat
Posted 7/20/2009 5:32 PM (GMT 0)
Hey Paulos,

Hang in there, bud.  I am also having some problems with my short term memory, but it's probably the medication you are taking.  Don't worry, you haven't completely lost your memory.  You just need to work harder at remembering things.  It's a pain, I know, but you just gotta bite the bullet.  You're not alone.  I can relate to your post.   You're okay, don't panic!  Like the others have said, tomorrow is another day.  I have quote that I want to share with me, it helps me deal sometimes. 

"Today is a gift.  Yesterday is history.  Tomorrow is a mystery.  And today?  Today is a gift.  That's why we call it the present."   

You are strong, believe it! 

Posted 7/20/2009 6:25 PM (GMT 0)

hey there,

Hang in there, don't be so hard on yourself. I have just come through a nightmare 24hrs and resisted my usual demon of destruction. Take it a minute at a time if you have to.

Thinking of you and hoping it gets better for you.

boo

Posted 7/20/2009 8:10 PM (GMT 0)
Paulos -

I haven't been on here in a while, but have you gone to a 12 step meeting? The meetings have really helped me during tough times. Plus, when you go, you will get a lot of phone numbers of people that you can call when you feel like drinking.

Hang in there - ONE DAY AT A TIME

KAM
Posted 7/20/2009 8:29 PM (GMT 0)
I ain't drinking, 25 days and all... thanks for your support, right now I feel very very sad about life and myself... people in my life kind of stink, and my mother seems like her spirit for taking care of me is declining :( I'm just a big fat lazy almost 24 year old living at home, I can't deal with the real world. this is where I go into my corner and panic now...
Posted 7/21/2009 5:16 AM (GMT 0)
Paulos, you are worthy of being happy! Are you in therapy? I'm sorry, I can't remember. Stay positive and let those negative thoughts go when they come up. Life will get better. Hang in there!
Posted 7/21/2009 5:39 AM (GMT 0)

Paulos i really hope you are in therapy as this vicious cycle needs to stop for you. i totally commend you for 25days sober, but i think a therapist/counsellor would be a real benefit for your emotional health.

Hang in there,

Maz XX

Posted 7/21/2009 5:45 AM (GMT 0)
Geez, I forgot to congratulate you on your 25 days of sobriety!!! Keep up the excellent work and find a good therapist!
Posted 7/24/2009 4:43 AM (GMT 0)
Therapists scare the crap out of me...
Posted 7/24/2009 10:11 AM (GMT 0)
Why?

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