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Still anxious after all this time...

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Anxiety & Panic Disorders
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Posted 8/5/2009 7:38 PM (GMT 0)
Well, I've been up and I've been down and some days are worse than others but I have now been dealing with anxiety for two and one half years. The first half of 2008 was the worst as I was out of my mind with anxiety and even hospitalized, not recalling very much of a three week period. I am on several medications for depression and bipolar disorder and then take Zyprexa as a rescue med for anxiety. Unfortunately, the Z isn't doing any good any longer. I am seeing a therapist who is helping me with hypnosis to relax and not take work so seriously. I have gotten some relief from this - I am no longer anxious on Sundays like I was as the work week approached. I believe all my anxiety now is related to my work. Unfortunately, I am the main breadwinner in my household and must keep working and could not get another job that paid anywhere as good as this one. It is a highly responsible and stressful job but I handled it just fine for 14 years withotu anxiety. I now suffer from anxiety every day Mon-Fri, usually better in the afternoons. I am so sick and tired of fighting the anxiety. I want the doc to give me Ativan or something like that though he obviously doesn't believe in that type of meds as he's never tried me on them. This is no way to live.
I should add that I can retire in a little more than one year. It will be a financial hardship and I will have to work at something else, but I don't see that I have much choice for the sake of my health. I already have two ideas in mind for things I'd like to work at.
Posted 8/5/2009 10:42 PM (GMT 0)
Georgie Girl

Hello there, it is good to hear from you.  This is Kitt. 

I am sorry to hear you are feeling more anxiety but I understand how work can play a major role in your anxiety.

I took early retirement due to my anxiety and my depression and have since taken a subsititue school nurse job. For me this has worked out.  I have a lot less money but it is easy to give up some things for a decrease in my anxiety.

I am glad to hear you have ideas for what you would like to do when you do retire.

Gentle Hugs to you,

Kitt


 

Posted 8/7/2009 6:51 PM (GMT 0)
Georgie Girl, you mentioned that you're tired of fighting anxiety. The key is not to fight it. You release more adrenalin when you fight the symptoms. I know it's not easy, but you must learn to "float" through the feelings/symptoms. I've had anxiety for about 25 years. Once I stopped watching my body and stopped worrying about heart attacks it got better.

Twenty-five years later, I have anxiety everyday. I will probably always have anxiety. The cure is to relax with the symptoms. Do not fret over them, wonder why they're happening, and do not watch your body. Keep your mind calmly busy. Do you exercise? Have you given up sugar and caffeine? These things will help.

I have a feeling that your job will go back to being tolerable if not enjoyable, when you learn to ignore the symptoms. As I said, let them happen. They can not hurt you. Take care of yourself! Good luck.
Posted 8/7/2009 7:02 PM (GMT 0)
Aries

Thanks for your suggestions. I have tried "radical acceptance" (a term my therapist calls is) to accept and not fight these feelings. Unfortunately, I am not doing very well trying to accept and ignore how I feel. I will keep trying.

I have been exercising and I think it does help a little bit.
Posted 8/7/2009 7:14 PM (GMT 0)
I wouldn't say you should ignore the feelings/thoughts. Acknowledge them and let them happen. When I'm feeling anxious, I say to myself, "I'm anxious. What is going on today or what is coming up that would be causing these symptoms"? Then I do a quick check of my life. What could be causing stress? If there's nothing, then I tell myself everything is okay. There's no need to be anxious. Sometimes the symptoms go away quickly and other times they linger for a little while. But they don't get worse. I've acknowledged them and I'm letting them happen without adding more fear.

Dealing with anxiety/panic takes time and experience. You will get there! Be your own best friend and remember that we are here for you.
Posted 8/10/2009 1:13 PM (GMT 0)
is it possible you just may need a new medication? a lot of these meds will usually poop out after a number of years and stop working. people will then switch to another that works like the old one. seems you were like me and had a long stretch of feeling great and then bam it came back. in my case i had a good 8 years before things went south. my father died within three weeks of my first child being born, and I also was working at a new job in a new state. i guess it was too much and the anxiety came rushing back after all that time. but i was scared to go off the meds or switch and i spent the next 3 years struggling when i should have made a switch or gotten off the meds. i became a pretty nasty person. about 3 months ago i went off the zoloft i was on and i became a totally different person. much nicer and more caring. like my old self. i think the meds were causing problems. that being said, i have a whole new set of issues i am dealing with now and perhaps need to start researching a new medication. but the weight gain and the anger and flat emotion issues i was dealing with while on the meds makes me worried about taking anything again. but i bet that if i found the right medication it would make a big difference. maybe you just need something new.
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