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Posted 8/17/2009 9:30 PM (GMT 0)
These past few days I have not been able to hold it together inside because of my health anxiety. I went to the Women's Health Center where I go now this past friday and got looked at because of a few symptoms that were bothering me. Rationally I thought it was a UTI, irrationally I thought it was something else, worse. The Health provider told me I had a bladder infection and she gave me some meds. She told me I should feel better in a few days, the symptoms I had are better but I still have other physical symptoms (which can easily be anxiety and stress)...and my mind wondered off as it usually does and I was thinking what if I have this, or that. After all of this reassurance by health educators and forum mods I am still having trouble with the idea of having HIV, I automatically go to the worst of the worst. I really don't know what to do because it is consuming me. On the outside of course I am composed (until I have an attack) but on the inside I am a wreck...and here I was thinking I was better.

ChiGirl24

Post Edited (BlessedByTheBest) : 8/17/2009 3:34:06 PM (GMT-6)

Posted 8/17/2009 10:20 PM (GMT 0)

ChiGirl,

Hey Sweetie, let out those tears of anxiety and know that you are better.  You have a bladder infection so kick the dang anxiety to the curb, you do not need it.

Anxiety is a normal reaction to stress. It helps you cope with tense situations. It also helps you focus on the task at hand and motivates you. Almost everyone experiences anxiety from time to time. Typically, anxiety goes away when the triggering event is resolved.

Health anxiety is an initial overreaction/misinterpretation of a real abnormality.

Perhaps the most difficult task in treatment is to first understand that the physical symptoms aren't necessarily the sign of something more sinister – that in fact the mind is playing games with what are fairly normal bodily sensations.

Do try really hard to stay in the moment and do not anticipate the worse case scenario.  You are OK.  We are all here to help you through.

Gentle Hugs

Kitt

Posted 8/17/2009 10:39 PM (GMT 0)
Thank you so much for the encouragement Kitt...I am going to try even harder.

ChiGirl

Posted 8/18/2009 12:10 AM (GMT 0)

Chi I am so sorry you are battling with these negative thoughts- Im going to give you a link to an online CBT program which can help give you the necessary tools to start taking your life back. Its free, you can do it at your own pace and you can potentially learn how to understand and control irrational fears:

Free CBT Online/MoodGYM 

http://moodgym.anu.edu.au/welcome

All the best,

Maz XX

Posted 8/18/2009 2:06 AM (GMT 0)
Thanks Maz,

You guys are really great and I'm glad I found you all. I actually started MoodGym like a week ago but was feeling discouraged. I finally logged back on and did an hour and a half of exercises today (thanks to you) and it is really helping a bit.

Thanks,

ChiGirl

Posted 8/18/2009 9:08 PM (GMT 0)
ChiGirl, have u been tested for HIV? If not, perhaps you should to put your mind at ease. Once you know you're okay, the anxiety will subside. If this worry is behind it. It might be worth being tested. Another thing, go easy on yourself. We have to be our own best friends. Stop the negative thoughts in their tracks. Sounds like you're on your way to feeling better. Take care!
Posted 8/19/2009 12:46 AM (GMT 0)
Aries,

Thanks for the advice. I haven't had another test since March. I've only had sex 3 times (all within this year). The first time was the time when I thought I had an extreme risk. I was on the HIV Forum and the mods told me it was a low risk and to not worry. I would love to go and get a test done and get past this but that brings on a HUGE amount of anxiety, I mean to the point where I almost had 2-3 car wrecks on the way to the health center the last time. I think the guilt behind it has a whole lot to do with it because it all was definitely a mistake and I wish I could take it back. I really hate myself for doing that (warped thought). Also, even though this is the issue now before it was the Swine Flu two months ago, Meningitis when I was in college, etc, etc...health anxiety has always been there. I just need to stop blowing things up( magnifcation) and nuetralize the negative thoughts before they rot my mind.

Side note: I am really glad I started MoodGym, this really helps, thanks guys for introducing it to me!

ChiGirl

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