ivorycharm..."Rising Panic"

Posted by ivorycharm on 8/9 @ 8:18 PM CDT

Hello, everybody!

I woke up this morning feeling the familiar "rising panic" and anxiousness. I have no one to talk with and I have no time or desire to seek professional help because I am a very busy mother of 3 young children.

I did myself a favor and look for a support group so here I am ........

My panic attack started early 2007. I was driving and on my way to the airport when I felt shortness of breath. I went to ER and had an ECG (which was normal) and was told to see a cardiologist. I had a 2D echo (right ventricular diastolic dysfunction) which my cardio dismissed as stress. The weeks following the attack I was so exhausted that I cannot function well. I also had nocturnal dyspnea, etc. I was so anxious and felt so alone.

I finally got over it temporarily (through self healing in prayers and giving myself some needed rest) then the second episode came while I was driving over a bridge with my children. With sheer willpower I survived crossing the bridge without passing out or dying there or losing control of the car. Since then I avoided crossing long bridges and sometimes flyovers.

I am much better now but there were times when I am so stressed out (like when I discovered that my husband had an affair two months ago) and when I cannot find some important documents at home (just yesterday), when my children are sick with asthma, etc.

I've always been a worry-wart since I can remember.

I also have so many fears since childhood (darkness, lightnings, submerging my head underwater). I also wakes up at night with the feeling of doom, feels sad for no particular reason.

I hope I can find healing and a friend in all of you.

ivorycharm

Thanks a lot Kitt https://www.healingwell.com/community/emoticons/smile.gif

My anxiety has increased these past several days because I got so busy (i.e.my kids just had their first periodical test, my housekeeper went on an extended vacation) and there's additional concerns at home like my kids are having asthma attack at the same time.

I don't get enough sleep at night and i found myself "breathless" with constant worrying.

When I feel overwhelmed with childcare, household concerns, office and business issues I usually write in my journal but lately I cannot find the time to do it.

I feel like I'm slowly getting deeper in my anxiety "quicksand."

I'm trying to shake it off by feeling grateful with all the blessings in my life right now like the hugs and kisses of my children, the beauty of the morning, the laughter of the children at play.

Sometimes I think that this disorder is something I inherited from my parents. I worry too that one of my children will have it too. My sister has Bipolar Disorder and it started when she was just 19 years old. My father was a pessimist and paranoid while he was still alive. My mother is well and healthy but had a history of nervous breakdown.

My husband was abused physically when he was a child so I guess that explains his borderline personality.

I don't have friends at the moment because I do not have the time to cultivate friendship. It's really pathetic to think about it but I always try to be positive because if I don't help myself, who will?

Thanks again for your reply.

It is very much appreciated.

Dios mabalos,

ivorycharm

Welcome Ivory Charm,

I too am a busy Mom and can relate to feeling like I don't have time to do a lot of things. Ultimately, it is my kids that gave me the reason to seek help for my anxiety. I need to do it for myself but also for them. It affects how I am with them and I am also a model for them - anxiety, sadness, and worry are not the things I want to be modeling.

Try to find time to care for yourself. Taking time just for you each day, making an appointment to talk to your doctor and/or a therapist. It can be hard to do, but it will pay off for you and for your family.