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Feeling less anxious now that I am back to work

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Posted 9/26/2009 2:03 PM (GMT 0)
Good Morning,

I will go first........I am feeling less anxious now that I am back to work and finding that keeping busy keeps my mind out of anticipatory anxiety mode.

Thursday went with the students on a field trip to the Apple Orchards.

Oh my, went into the Corn Maze with the kids and teachers and we went in circles while the corn stalks slapped at us and the muddy earth sucked at my new white tennis shoes...................and we went round and round. Then finally someone said "I think we are going in circles"............and someone else said "look at the map, there is north" Now can you tell which way is north when your lost in a corn maze? smilewinkgrin No moss grows on the corn stalks.

I was pretty sure we were going in circles when I recognized the same cob of corn we had passed earlier.........LOL. These are the special education kids and they had a ball. Finally another teacher took the map and off we went soon exiting the maze several blocks north of where we entered. redface

The sun was high in the sky and I was kissing the ground when we found the exit as I was worried because I was beginning to feel a bit anxious.

The apple tasting was delicious. No pun intended. tongue

And the wheels on the bus go round and round...........

I am well.

Hugs to all,

Kitt
Posted 9/26/2009 2:41 PM (GMT 0)
Good morning.

Well this morning I was supposed to leave this weekend to visit family, but I am still here and now plan to stay here because I fear I have something I thought I'd never have to deal with again. Bleeding ulcer. All the signs are there, and I do mean all the signs.

Other than that I'm okay, I guess.

I've never been to a corn maze, but I think I saw a sign for one somewhere either South or East of Dallas. I'd like to try that one time. Reminds me of The Shining, haha. Sorry to hear about your new tennis shoes.
Posted 9/26/2009 2:58 PM (GMT 0)
well i thought i was doing better, till this morning....... my husband (cardiac patient) was having trouble with his heart last night , so i stayed up most of the night making sure he was still ok ... i over worked yesterday , physically, that didnt help , so this morning the dog woke me up having a fit to go out (she's a redbone hound dog) so i got dressed and we ran out the door ,or shall i say she did while dragging me behind LOLafter a 15 min walk i felt like i had been ran over by a truck ,, which in turn started MY heart to beating crazy....... then set a panic attack in gear ,,,,,, in which i just cried........... i get to a point sometimes where i feel like  it needs to either STOP or i just want to pass on from this life ...... dont take that as i am suicidal ,, that i am not , death is my biggest fear in life anyway ....

 oh well i guess i will see how today goes, i think it is time to visit my doctor again ,,,,,,,

i hope everyone has a good weekend , and hopefully stay dry where ever you are

we are in for MORE rain here in BAMA

Posted 9/26/2009 4:13 PM (GMT 0)
I haven't been around here much and although I check in frequently, I don't post often.  I'm doing okay anxiety wise, getting out and doing well that way, but have fallen into a very bad depression.  My Buster dog died a little over four months ago, and I just can't seem to get over it or through it.  I don't have any interest in doing anything, so I push myself daily to be a part of life when all I want to do is crawl into bed and stay there.  I know some won't understand, but my dog was not just a pet, he was my world, my best friend and my constant companion and I just don't seem to be getting by very well without him.  Still waiting for "time" to heal, as everyone says, but so far it's sure not helping. 
Posted 9/26/2009 4:39 PM (GMT 0)
I have been doing pretty good anxiety wise. I have really learned to recognize it trying to raise its ugly head, and have been able to stop it right away with the help of my Xanax. I only am using the Xanax about 3 times a month. Used to be 1-3 times, but I have gotten better at recognizing it. We are getting ready to go back down to Mexico on October 9th. But........travelling does cause a slight increase in my anxiety until I have been there a day or two. But I am trying to stay in the moment and not worry too much about the what if's that always try to creep in. Plus I just love the family down there and we have a new baby to meet toosmile Very excited to meet him. Also, while we are down there we will be celebrating our 10th wedding anniversary. I am truly blessed with the most amazing husband who is such as support with all my health issues. Here's to 50 more yearssmile

Junebug05 I was wondering where you have been. I am glad you posted about your sadness. We all do understand how sad you are feeling. For some pets DO become a family member, and I do remember how much Buster helped with your A/P. Please talk to us when you are feeling down, we do care! I will say a little prayer for you that God brings some peace to your tender heart. BIG HUGS!!!!

Debaser sure hope you can get into the doc and get started on some meds to help that nasty ulcer. I have had one and they are miserable.

Dixie its no wonder your a/p kicked up. First worrying about your honey's heart, then not getting enough sleep. Would be problematic for me too.

Kitt I do not know how you did that maze! I would have been in horrible anxiety, just because I couldn't find an exit and with my Crohns I am sure the diarrhea would hit and how would I get to the bathroom. You are a much braver woman than I. And then to do it with a bunch of little ones. Girl you are my herosmile

Hugs to all,
Gail*Nanners*
Posted 9/26/2009 11:46 PM (GMT 0)
I am happy to hear your angst is getting better control wise Nanners and hope you have a very joyous trip hug that lil babe for us eh ... Junebug I can feel your pain hun lost my parrots so it is pretty lonely i so miss them ....Nothing like the love of your friend/pet is there I am so sorry to hear of your loss.Debaser plz do get some med attention and let us know what is going on k ..Dixie.hoping you can get more rest and have some relief from the constant anxiety over your love.Kitt I can just imagine the maze ong I know I would never find way out lol...sounds like so much fun though....Today I am just continuing on the mend and watching old movies reading alot of threads I missed..Take care all and this is a great lil idea ...Luvs..lyn
Posted 9/28/2009 12:55 PM (GMT 0)
So good to hear how each of you is doing and I see some great positive things posted as well as members still struggling. Thank you each of you for checking in.

Now let us hear from some more of our members here in the A & P Forum.

Health & Happiness,

Kitt
Posted 9/28/2009 1:55 PM (GMT 0)
Glad you are feeling lots better kit.

My anxiety has gone, I still obsess about my swallowing, but If I dont think about it its ok. Its only the focus on my throat thats there, keep getting spikes of panic in my throat, but I generally ignore it. I dont get any problems no more with globus sensations or stomach problems at all. I even went on holiday and drove everywhere! I wont let the anxiety dictate how I run my life. Time is a great healer. Im now doing some voluntary work, teaching old folks how to do watercolors :D

Good luck all, anxiety is curable just takes time.

AG
Posted 9/28/2009 5:28 PM (GMT 0)
I had a nice week-end, am feeling pretty well these days.  Saturday was rainy but Sunday was picture perfect North Carolina Fall day.  I tried to stay outside as much as possible, have been known to nap in a lawn chair! To the person, June, that lost your dog, my dog is my best friend ever.  I know another one cannot replace that one, but have you thought about getting another dog?  There are so many wonderful little creatures in animal shelters that just want someone to love them.  I have always believed that if you are a dog person, if you do not have one, one will find you.

Kitt, it is a good thing I was not lost in that maze with you, sounds fun but I got turned around at the Nc Zoo one time, talk about panic!  My husband was with me and that is when he realized how bad it could be for me.  Glad you had fun!

Best to everyone!

Gem 

Posted 9/28/2009 5:55 PM (GMT 0)
Everyday is different...I actually drove over the bridge today..which I was terrified to do. My last full blown attack was on the bridge. I was really nervous, practically flew over it...but I did it! Got soe gas for my truck (cheaper there) and then came back. Usually I would stay and shop..but Im not realy for that yet.
Sunshine :)
Posted 9/28/2009 10:05 PM (GMT 0)
Wow, I am so proud of each of you and it is fun to share.

Sunshine drove over the bridge and made it.........terrific !

Gem is enjoying the perfect North Carolina Fall day, super!

Acidgirl has no more with globus sensations, excellent !

Lyn is continuing on the mend and has survived a harrowing experience, miraculous !

Nanners is staying in the moment, ourstanding !

Junebug05 is grieving the loss of her dog, Blessings !

dixiegirl70 is going to check in with her Doctor, right on!

debaser has sx of bleeding ulcer, offering prays and support.

Kitt is feeling less anxious, content and peaceful.

I see we have a lot of missing member that we would love to see check in:

Maz, hazelnut86, Sam, phixgrrrl, vestabula, racinrays, anastasia, bella, hibee and nellebutter to name a few.

We would love to hear how you are, good or not so good. We are here to support.

Hugs

Kitt
Posted 9/28/2009 11:09 PM (GMT 0)
Hey all! Its been a while, I'm still kicking around, doing Ok anxiety wise but really working hard to stay on top of it. Its been a rough month, my brother in law got in a terrible riding accident and was in a coma in the ICU for almost 3 weeks, he's in rehab now and we're hoping he'll be coming home in the next 1-2 weeks. The same week he was hurt my husbands other brother passed away from heart failure. And to add up to the 3rd terrible thing (they come in 3's right?) my brother got arrested after fighting with his wife and threatening to kill himself with a loaded gun. So needless to say I've been REALLY busy and trying to keep myself up and out of the downward spiral of anxiety. It flares here and there but I'm doing ok. I'm extra anxious about riding since BILs accident but I decided after my 3rd fall to going back to lessons and keeping myself in it, its hard not to constatnly worry about what might happen, but she keeps me really busy and gives me "homework" to do with my horse so that's helping me really focus. Work is also keeping me really busy, I'm a ball of stress but I'm managing pretty well. I'm also cooking up a storm which seems to be helping me drain some of that stress so the hubs has been pretty spoiled lately... mostly sweets of course :)
Posted 9/29/2009 7:22 PM (GMT 0)

Well I havent been on much either and I feel selfish because I havent been on because Ive been doing a little better, but Im still here and I plan on logging on more because I MISS U GUYS! My CBT is still going well there are some very nice people there. The exposure part is challenging but it works. Ive picked up a new hobby to keep my mind off things. My new hobby is houseplants. Aside from using them as home decor I am learning about them and how some even purify the air. I only have about 7 but theyre growing nicely. Since the weather is changing I feel my "seasonal blues" cry   coming on and this whole swine flu thing makes it worse. shakehead But im going to try my best to stay focused I hope everyone else is doing well.

Posted 9/30/2009 3:14 AM (GMT 0)
I've been up and down about the allergies these past couple of weeks. My ENT kind of brushed the recent bad symptoms off, saying I couldn't have been reacting to the shots, and so that frightened me and also made me feel pretty unsupported and disbelieved. Then I started seeing a homeopathic doctor about them, and that helped a lot in the beginning, but yesterday and today my throat got tight despite our afternoon appointment. When the scary sensations won't go away, it always makes me anxious, scared, uncertain, and today, sad. I was told that a junior colleague was talking about me to practical strangers in another office at work as "psychosomatic" and "causing problems for us." That hurt - that my issues were just a coworker's idle chatter to break the ice with new people - and again makes me feel disbelieved and scared about ever feeling healthy and health-safe again.

On the positive side, hubby and I are finally throwing a party/wedding reception, nearly a year after the fact. I am looking forward to it, but also anxious that my fear of the allergy sensations will spoil the day. I am going to read Emily Post about how to be the most gracious hostess possible; I definitely want our guests to feel welcome and relaxed.

Sunshine, congrats for driving over that bridge. I seem to recall you posting about those worries quite a while back, and you're an inspiration for beating the fear! Kitt, good for you with the corn maze - what fun the students must have had! Lyn, it's so good to see you back, and I hope you're getting along better and better. Nanners, enjoy that trip - you did it before, and you can do it again. Junebug, I'm so sorry about your precious dog - I pray that his beautiful spirit will help you to move on. Nelle, I'm so glad to hear that the CBT is going well, and Sam, I posted on your other thread - glad Gma is on the mend so well! Dixiebella, dixiegirl, and debaser, I hope the health problems for you and your loved ones are healed ASAP. Gem and acidgirl, it's so good to hear that your anxiety is not being too obnoxious these days.


Positive thoughts to all, and bravo for all the successes,
percycat
Posted 9/30/2009 4:23 AM (GMT 0)
went out on own n felt pretty good but tired easily getting myself back slowly but for sure.......be well as can be all and fight the fight ......we are in this together...n we will overcome an obstacle one by one if need be .......take care of yourselves...it is great to have this lil spot to see how others are ...great idea KITT.........

......luvs...lyn
Posted 10/3/2009 2:39 AM (GMT 0)
Good Evening Everyone,

I know we lost a few posts due to the system failure but hope everyone remembers what was here and most of all to keep on checking in to let us know how your are all doing.

I will admit I was in HealingWell withdrawal.

Keep on posting and sharing.

Hugs,

Kitt
Posted 10/3/2009 3:34 PM (GMT 0)
Nice to hear from so many good friends on here. It warms my heart with all of the successes and I wish nothing but the best of luck for those still struggling. Just stick with us and we will help each other through :)

Take care A/P Family!
Posted 10/5/2009 5:57 PM (GMT 0)
The past few months has been hell for me, I can't explain it now, but I had the worst panic attack ever. It wasn't from fear, it was from a physical problem, and although I am better now, I am not 100% well...so I am planning to get it checked this week at the doc.
I am still unemployed, have applied for several jobs, and I even went in for a few interviews, but it was not what I had expected. I am still looking. I hope everyone is doing well!

Love Melodee
Posted 10/5/2009 5:59 PM (GMT 0)
Good to see you again Melodee!

I also went through the worst panic of my life around this time last year, and just wanted to let you know that if you keep working through all of your exercises, plus peer support, you WILL slowly get better. I wish you so much luck and please do keep us posted on how you are doing.

Take care and keep your chin up :)
Posted 10/5/2009 6:04 PM (GMT 0)
Thank you dear Sam!! :) It is so nice to hear from you and thank you very much for your support. I am glad you are still at this forum. :)I am sorry you had a bad panic episode last year, I hope you are doing better now! Well, it sounds like you are doing better! Thank you for the reassurances, I appreciate it very much! I hope you are doing well, how is your writing & blog going? Are you still working on it?

Melodee :)
Posted 10/5/2009 6:10 PM (GMT 0)
Sure am, but going a little slower with it now, lol. This summer has been busy and I was not on here for about three months. I am just grateful to the wonderful mods/members on here that kept things going so I had a wonderful place to come back to :)

Take care now!
Sam :)
Posted 10/14/2009 3:09 PM (GMT 0)
Good Morning,

I think it is check in time..........I am here to tell you my anxiety has dropped 99% as I have my pathology report from the skin biopsies done last week. One area was positive for cancer so I will have that removed on 11/22. In 2008 I had 5 positive skin cancers so this is much better.

Now I want to hear how all of you are doing ??????????

Here is your chance to share the good and not so good. We are all here for each other.

Hugs

Kitt
Posted 10/14/2009 4:05 PM (GMT 0)
I am glad that your anxiety is down right now, and I wish you the best on getting the cancerous spot removed. You take care and keep us posted.

I have been doing much better myself. G'ma is improving daily so far and we have been pampering her with a new flat screen TV in her room when she is taking her more frequent rests, meals in bed, the last of this year's flowers, etc. Her vitals are very stable now with the new meds and I had to increase her O2 from 2lpm to 3lpm to keep her readings above 95, which seems to have helped tremendously with not only her heart but with her overall mental clarity as well :)

Since I am here at home pretty much 24/7 now, I have started some household remodeling projects to help me stay busy. I pulled back the old carpet in the living room and hall to uncover beautiful oak floors that only needed some oil. Then I cut a huge doorway from the old living room to the outer room that used to be a garage, and it looks amazing. Now there is a double parlor and an area that has become a library, now that I have time to put in some built in bookcases :) I sure have been having fun doing all of this.

My anxiety has been pretty good overall except for having a bit of a cold that is affecting my breathing a little which is one of my anxiety freak-outs. . . I've been keeping hopped up on Vit C and Echinacea which seems to be doing the trick. We have been using the heck out of hand sanitizers and the steam machine to keep the germs down as not to get G'ma feeling bad as well. I am getting ready to work on going through my therapy again, plus putting myself on a schedule to force me to follow through with all of my breathing/relaxation exercises. . . Been slipping lately, but I will get back to it :)

I hope to hear from more members old and new. . . Been missing everyone and pray that all is going well :)
Posted 8/25/2010 9:16 PM (GMT 0)
The Xanax isn't working anymore so the Dr. put me on Clonazepam starting tonight. Nurse said it was "stronger" medication. I won't know how 'strong' until I take it--hopefully enough to get me back on the job. Please pray for me, and for my husband to get a job during the week to help us financially.
Camylou
Posted 8/25/2010 9:53 PM (GMT 0)
Camylou
Hey there, did your Doctor start you on a regular daily dose of Klonopin ? I hope this drug works well for you. You may want to be on the med for a day or so before you venture back to work to see how this medication affects you.

Prays for both you and your husband.
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