Cycle of My Thoughts

Your mind starts racing and worrying about things that aren't in your control, you tell yourself to stop and it works, then you just wind up sitting there staring off into nowhere not thinking of anything, then you start worrying about the fact that you're spacing and a zombie, then you start worrying about why you feel that way, you tell yourself to stop and it all starts all over again.

People tell you to start looking at other people who are worse off for you, and it's not that you don't feel bad for them, you do.  But instead of making you feel as if you're in a good situation, it gives you the impression that everyone is all messed up and life is overall pretty darn miserable.   So the coping method really doesn't seem to deliver the right message, just gets you right back to where you started.

And last but not least you're so consumed by all these emotions and feelings that you're mind is completely exhausted.  What have you done your whole life before this when you've been tired?  You lie down and go to sleep, fat chance.  You lie down in your bed and try to sleep off the exhaustion and worries but only wind up staring down the ceiling or the clock and time doesn't seem to move.  You get up and find something to do, not something you really want to do, only something you need to do to hopefully get yourself tired enough to eventually be able to go to sleep.

This is the cycle I'm living, this is what I need to change, but it just seems like big ass giant circle and I keep getting back to where I started.  Where's the reset button so I can go back 2 months and not deal with this crap?

I know what you are feeling.  In August, my anxiety hit again and I did not sleep for 7-10 days.  My Dr. prescribed a sleeping pill and that helped.  The lack of sleep amplifies my reaction to anxiety.  I was on the sleeping pills for 4 weeks and then I got back to my regular sleeping pattern.

As for not going out with friends, you got to go.  By not going out with them you are only giving in to the anxiety and keeping the circle of fear going.

Think to yourself, what is the worse that can happen?  You have a panic attack - so what!!!  They are your friends and they won't look at you like you are weird or something is wrong.  Heck, you might find out they have family members or other friends that have a similar condition.

The quicker you return to doing things like going out with friends and socializing, the faster your anxiety will decrease.

From my personal experience, the first couple of times you go out with your friends, you will definitely feel anxious.  Likely worrying about whether they notice if your anxious.  Eventually, your body will realize that there is nothing to fear in these situations and you will feel alot better. 

For me, I had to do many things again and again to reduce my anxiety.  Mainly because I began avoiding things (like driving).  

If you face your fears (don't avoid anything) you will feel better much quicker.

Good luck.

kitt mentioned trazadone i 4got about that it works 4 me stops mind from stinking thinking.......