IS there a light at the end of this tunnel????

Hi.........i am new here.

My anxiety started in December 2009, after I had a miscarriage in November 2009. Ever since, I've had anxiety and it has gotten worse. I get it every other day if I am lucky..but usually it's everyday. I've only had a total of 3 MAJOR attacks, where I thought I was truthfully going to pass out and lose it. But everyday I do get attacks. Then after my miscarriage, I lose mybest friend because she tells me "F U, at least when I have a baby I won't have a miscarriage."

Right now I have Lorazapem, which is the only reason I can even ever calm down. Though I've only taken it 3 times, in the past 2 weeks since I was given it. Im NOT a fan of medicines because I hate feeling weird, or disoriented and I truthfully only take it when needed. I am only 19 years young...and this anxiety is ruining my life.

I've gotten it at the mall, grocery stores, at home, at work, in other public places, driving, etc. It's everywhere....I can't get rid of it. Some weeks are better than others though

My first psychiatrist appointment isn't til March 1st, but im having a hard time hanging in until then. I have a very loving boyfriend, and he doesnt understand what i am going thru, and agrees also that I am not the same person!! ALL i ever wanna do is sleep it sucks.

I think that I am stressed out, yet I don't feel it!!! I think i can't even realize what I am stressing out about.

This post may be a little long and all over...i took the lorazapem not too long ago might be why. I dont know is there any hope out there? The doctor said she thinks its post traumatic stress (miscarriage) and that it shouldnt be permanent but im going crazy here

I feel like nobody I talk to fully understands.

Honestly, I don't have any friends other than my boyfriend and my sister. When my attacks get bad, I actually get comfort from talking to my mother.

But I just don't get why my anxiety happens at the MOST random times... the times they happen dont make sense??

As I recall the beginning of my anxiety showing up was the worst. It was so confusing and was accompanied by a complete lifestyle change for me. Believe it or not you seem to be ahead of the curve when it comes to seeking solutions. I wish I had sought out medical help or even recognized anxiety for what it was as early on as you have.

It is of course a process though. I'm with you when it comes to being stressed out and not realizing it. At least until the anxiety/panic rears its ugly head. Thats me all over. Slowly I'm getting better at noticing more subtle clues to mounting stress and if I'm feeling smart will take steps to relive them before the beast is on me. Again, its a process and one you will get, unless your anxiety is short lived, and hopefully it will be.

My 2 cents when it comes to taking Lorazapam is to not feel too shy about it. I also would resist taking diazepam because I didnt care for some of the effects. Also on a couple occasions I overdid it and had some amnesic results which were a little embarrassing. Additionally I thought if I could tough it out I'd be able to deal better in the future.
Eventually I realized that being sedated was preferable to feeling like I was about to lose my mind or die. There was no debt to pay afterward for the relief, and I don't think I was made stronger for the times I suffered through. If anything it slowed my mind down enough to focus and gain a little perspective on what I was dealing with. As time went on I needed them less and less.

It will be tough for your boyfriend to get it, might not be a bad idea to point him toward something like these forums or other reading material to shed a little light on it for him. I'm sure he is confused. My last girlfriend is the only person I've been with who could relate and truthfully I think we both gleaned great comfort in that. Incidentally her experience with anxiety started with a miscarriage as well, and over time did improve dramatically. You are getting hit with a craphammer right now but you appear to be taking the right steps to get better.

Best of luck.

I take Microgestin FE 1-20 for birth control. My anxiety has seem to heightened in this month that I started this medicine....

Is this possible? Or am I just thinking it?