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Posted 8/7/2010 4:12 PM (GMT 0)
Hi

I have been doing well the last few months but a few things have happened recently and I am feeling really anxious and very stressed out again which is really annoying as things have been going well. I am having real problems at work with a manager who basically does not understand my situation and who I have felt is building a case to get rid of me, We had a big bust up a couple of weeks ago and the whole situation is not good and I don't know how to resolve it?. A couple of other things have also caused me a lot of anxiety on top of this whole work thing which has made things worse. I have been doing all the things I learnt in CBT but cant seem to get things back in perspective and have had a few bad panic attacks, Im really not looking forward to this coming week and annoyed how quickly things can change. I do have a meeting with my psychiatrist this coming Friday which was supposed to be my last one before he discharged me back to my doctor so will have chat with him then.
Posted 8/7/2010 9:29 PM (GMT 0)
I am so sorry to hear you are having such a bad time. I hope that you can feel like yourself again soon and everything will be fine. Being a fellow anxiety sufferer I know it isnt easy and doesnt get better overnight :P

Since being forced to move out of our apt into a real fixer upper due to money issues, everything is in such chaos here my anxiety is back after 4 years. Blech.

Let me know how you are doing!
Posted 8/8/2010 2:17 PM (GMT 0)
hi there
so sorry you have hit a real rough patch your boss has to hv goo reason to get rid of you n having issues with a/p is not valid imho
just know you are doing your best n keep coming back here to your family Ben for support n encouragement
you will get out of this rut i know this
huggs
lyn
Posted 8/8/2010 3:00 PM (GMT 0)
Hi
Thanks for the posts of encouragement your right I can get my self sorted I have been worse. Its going to be a tough week but light at the end of the tunnel.

Ben
Posted 8/8/2010 3:07 PM (GMT 0)
Keep us posted on how yr doing k
hugs
lyn
Posted 8/8/2010 8:41 PM (GMT 0)
Thanks Lynn
Posted 8/8/2010 9:00 PM (GMT 0)
Hey Ben,

Wondering how the Aspergers is treating you ~ I hope I got that right?

I agree that you should talk with your therapist re these new issues that are troubling you.  I keep an open door policy with my therapist so I may always go back for a quick fix or a longer time if I find I am getting caught up in "stinkin thinkin". 

You know we have always been here for you and we will continue being here to support you.

Gentle Hugs and keep on taking babysteps forward even if things have slowed down a bit right now you will soon be back on track. 

Posted 8/9/2010 3:32 AM (GMT 0)
Ben,

You rock with your positive attitude. I didn't get out of bed for three days and now I read your post. I am in awe. I hate managers. As Kitt says get rid of the "stinkin thinkin"
Posted 8/9/2010 7:00 AM (GMT 0)
Hi

Kitt thanks for your post, Since finding out I have Aspergers I have felt a huge sense of relief and it made sense of my whole life and the way that I lead my life. I always new that I was different and feel that I know look on things in a new light and have been doing really well up until a few weeks ago and then all this work stuff got on top off me, I really lost it with my manager and we almost came to blows. I have not told them about my Aspergers in fact only a few people know. I will have a stressed week this week but know I can get through it and as always have had great support here.

Meg thanks for your post you are a good friend and I hope every thing is ok with you?. My manager just can not get his head round the whole anxiety thing and I have explained it to him and given him information off the web he just wants me out as he feels it will be less hassle for him in the long run what he dosent know is the amount of stress and anxiety he is putting me through and thats makes me feel really angry and upset about the whole sittuation. Thanks again meg for being there.
Posted 8/11/2010 1:30 AM (GMT 0)
You are so incredibly welcome Ben, truly. We help each other out in this community and your struggle helps me not feel so alone with mine.

There is still so much stigma around "mental illness" and I can't stand it. My ex husband has aspergers and agrophobia and he is a brilliant and talented person. He has also been put on a life long pension and told to not bother with anything except taking his meds. What a waste!

Your manager is obviously unaware of your many talents and just wants to stick with the status quo. "Normal" people. Pff! Where do they come from?!

Look for new work (stress I know) and know that you are a wonderful, caring person and amazing friend. Try not to let his attitude rub off on you.

Hugs,
Posted 8/11/2010 9:04 AM (GMT 0)
I can relate with each of you, and hello I am a new member. My wife and I are being forced to move from our place, we are full time grad students and we work around the clock. I too suffer from anxiety. I do not have or need a therapist, but having a forum to come to like this is a posiitve thing for me, I think. I know how bosses can be and having to move suddenly as well.
Posted 8/11/2010 6:56 PM (GMT 0)
Meg you are right there still is a lot of stigma surrounding mental health, I think people are scared of what they can't see and struggle to understand but also don't want to take the time to understand. It has been a long journey to the diagnosis of Asperger's syndrome and at last every thing seems to make sense and what I need to do is keep moving forwards and try not to get dragged down by other people so much. My manager in my opinion is a bully and I don't know wether we can sort the current situation out, I stood up for myself the other week and things got very heated he did not like someone standing up to him and also I was very blunt with him ( Im quite blut with a lot of things which i found out is a trait of asperger's). I did not realise your ex had Aspergers im sure you must no a lot about it then?.

Sounds a real shame he was told not to bother with any thing and take meds, I have a lot of traits which make things difficult for me but like you said have a lot of traits which are very positive. I am looking for a new job but nothing about at the moment. Thanks again Meg you are a true friend and give great advise and support and please know I am always here for you take care my friend.

Maxwell

Welcome to HW you have found a great support forum good to meet you and keep posting.
Posted 8/11/2010 10:03 PM (GMT 0)
Hey there Ben,

Hello and I so agree with you re the stigma that is still so prevalent re mental health disease/disorders.

I would love to see a run, walk or march to raise funds for awareness of Mental Health.  :-)  

Although an estimated 23 percent of Americans will experience a mental disorder in any given year, almost half do not seek treatment. Stigma still discourages people from getting help, despite advances in education and research. By learning the truth about mental illness and encouraging others to do the same, we can help lessen the stigma.

 

I know I have mentioned to you before that my Granddaughter has Asperger's.  She turned 16 in June and is at a really tough age to deal with.  Her parents are getting a divorce and she is living with her Mother who allows her to run free.  Honestly, Ben,  this scares me as she craves friendships and inclusion more than ever.  Her decision making skills are not good and she is defiant re boundaries.

 

Hygiene is a huge issue for her and the kids at school make fun of her.  How I wish she had someone who would accept responsibility for protecting her as she is a lose cannon right now. I live 1800 miles from her.  :( 

 

As for you,  dealing with a difficult boss is so challenging.  I have practiced over and over how to be assertive and not aggressive but when your in the middle of an emotional situation it is hard to stay assertive.  You may want to try this - list out things in your life most important to you. Then ask yourself, “Will a reaction to this person contribute to the things that matter most to me?“

 

I wish you peace,

 

Kitt

Posted 8/11/2010 10:33 PM (GMT 0)
Hi Kitt

It was mental health day here in the uk a while back and it did not get much press I think I heard it once on the news. I agree more needs to be done to raise the issues of mental health as more and more people are dealing with these issues so the more info the better. This is one of the reasons why I think HW is so good as people can come here and talk to others to get support and advice.

Yes you did mention about your granddaughter it must be a difficult time for at the moment and sounds like she has a lot to deal with at the moment. I can relate to the craving friendship and inclusion as looking back to when I was that age i felt the same. Looking back I think I made a lot of poor judgements in regards to the decisions i made but know I should not dwell on the past and move on. I know it must be a worrying time for you re your granddaughter but im sure she will be ok and she has you as her grandma to give her some great help and advice maybe invite her over for a holiday?.

I think I will just wait and see what happens with the whole work situation and let him come to me if he wants to sort things out and try my best not to get angry if it does not goto well and keep an eye out for a new job in the mean time and maybe ride the magic carpet for a while lol.

Ben
Posted 8/12/2010 8:32 PM (GMT 0)
Hi

Had a very stressful afternoon, finished which the group I was working with and was heading for a coffee break when I saw my Managers boss who was with one of the other managers from my work and asked me to attend a meeting with them regarding the situation between me and my manager. My anxiety obviously went through the roof, Remembering my cbt I said i would be over in 5min and went and tried to calm myself down a bit. This meeting was sprung on me and I was not given the option of taking someone along, My manager had not been honest and his story was far from the truth so I did get my side of the story over but due to being anxious did not get some things across well. He said he was going to speak to my boss and hopefully we can sort things out in a professional way so will have to see what happens.

I think I am just going to get on with what I do best and keep a look out for new job, It was mentioned at the meeting the my reputation as a instructor is excellent and that he was sure that I need not worry about being gotten rid off so I will try and take that as face value but im sure you all know that anxiety and paranoia can run wild and all sorts of theories can come up. Hopefully tomorrow will be a better day and I will try and keep in the sunlight rather that the shadows.
Posted 8/13/2010 4:28 AM (GMT 0)
Sorry, so short on time Ben. I will email you ASAP. Take care and know we love you !!
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