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Hello again... darn PTSD .. how long will it take?

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Posted 8/4/2010 4:14 AM (GMT 0)
cry  Hello again everyone. ! My name is Marie-Claire. I haven't been on HW for a while now , I have PTSD, depression and anxiety disorder, crohn's disease, diabetes, hypertension and RLS...The PTSD

.. at times it is manageable.. barely . Other times it controls my life. It was not too long ago that I was a regular member here.. came to check the forums everyday and contribute, help if I could. Thought I was doing sooo well.

My girls are 20 and 21 now... my beautiful grandaughter 2 1/2. When my 21 year old got a full time job, and my 20 year old was well settled with hubby and baby, I thought ... yippee.. time for mom . What a huge disappointment when the flood gates openened and all the horrible events of my life, that I had so carefully suppressed to care for my girls, suddenly came crashing in ; dark and darker! Paralyzing.!

I have been in counselling , intense counselling., for one year and 2 months now... I keep thinking everytime I walk over to my appointment ... " what could possibly surface now... but something always does, always ! It never ends. When I think I have come to an epiphany and feel so proud of myself for this major breakthrough ... I'm confronted with yet another buried memory , and the process begins all over again.

Just thought I'd return to my place of safety . HEaling Well is a great sounding board. I am ashamed of myself for now being here for some of you during your hours of need. I felt , in the " I don't want to live anymore , but don't want to die either" mode I was in.. I wouldn't be much help to anyone.

But I see Kitt is still here, dear heart.. and Lyn .... Please accept my apologies and regret at not being here to help.

Will be here more often now ... Looks like this PTSD is going to take longer than I thought to 'fix' ... so may as well try to help in spite of my dark and disabled mind.. there still is a ray of sunshine in there from time to time.

Mary yeah

Posted 8/4/2010 5:13 AM (GMT 0)
Hello Marie-Claire,
I am sorry to hear your PTSD has raised its head, I don't know much about it, but I am here is your ever need some one to talk to. I am always logging onto HW my anexity is always raising it head to me I thought I had it under control not to long ago but alass it proved me wrong lol. I hope every thing works out :-)
May your days be bright, and your life be brighter
Posted 8/4/2010 5:33 PM (GMT 0)
I'm sorry- what does PTSD stand for?
Posted 8/4/2010 5:42 PM (GMT 0)
Hi Marie-Claire its me Gail*Nanners*. I don't post much on the a/p forum anymore and am no longer a mod. But I saw your post and wanted to reach out to you. My Sister in Law denied her PTSD for nearly 30 years until it all finally came crashing down on her. She was put on Lexapro and is doing so much better now, its amazing the difference in her. She laughs again and is so much more peaceful. I know it was a rough road for her, as it is with you. Please keep working with your therapist. I think as you continue to release and move thru these bad times, better days will then be ahead for you. Continue to rely on your faith, God will never let you down. And although things may seem to be more than you can handle, remember He is always there for you. Look at how many times you have felt like giving up, and you continued to move forward. I think thats Him guiding your life. Sending much love to you.

Hugs
Gail*Nanners*
Posted 8/4/2010 5:55 PM (GMT 0)
weary,
Post Traumatric Stress Disorder
http://www.mayoclinic.com/health/post-traumatic-stress-disorder/DS00246

 

Posted 8/5/2010 9:49 PM (GMT 0)
I also have suffered PTSD. After 2 years of councelling I don't get flashbacks anymore. I feel confident now that I can deal with things that come my way or surface. I guess what has been successful for me is lots of reading self-help books and talking with my therapist.

I'm here if you ever want to talk.

Posted 8/10/2010 12:23 AM (GMT 0)
Thank you everyone.. .yes bwell.. I' ve come a long, long way in one year ... a year ago , I was almost catatonic .... I have faced a lot of my horrors head on... its exhausting but worth it. As my counsellor explained it , everytime I re-face it, talk about it , spiral down or up.. and come back again.. my brain is re-wiring those areas that are damaged and 'burned' by the trauma... its a lengthy difficult process.. but it is possible. Today is not a bad day ... but then again with PTSD , things can change so quickly.

Gail.. so happy to 'talk ' with you again... yes my faith is VERY VERY strong... has never failed me ... in fact I think God has held me up more times than I can count.

Its nice to meet new members... anxiety, depression, ptsd.. they can create such havoc in our mind bodies and souls... but by golly , we wont let that get the best of us...
Posted 8/10/2010 2:49 AM (GMT 0)
My dear friends!
I really like to help you because I know what are you going true in life.
I had same problems for 3 long years and one day I went to see my psychiatrist.
There was no counseling that help me,all of those was waste of time.
I went in many places,read lot of book and nothing help me,I was more depress and my anxiety was getting worse every single day.
I have PTSD,ANXIETY,DEPRESSION,CLAUSTROPHOBIA,AGORAPHOBIA and many other phobia.
I HAD!
My doctor put me on Cipralex 10mg,after 3 weeks on 20mg and it didn't really works till he put me on 30 mg......
Now I am born again,CIPRALEX SAVE MAY LIFE!
THEY ARE LIFE SAVER!
I didn't think there was hope for me,I didn't believe in miracle but I was wrong.
I am on Cipralex for 13 months and I feel great.
I hope this will help you and lift you up!
Don't spend money on psychotherapist and counseling,you have resolution in front of you!
Good luck!

p.s.
my psychiatrist explain to me,now just listen my friends:
if you have car and your transmission broke down,you can't drive your car.
This is what happen with my brain,it can't works without pills it need to be fix.
He told me:you don't need somebody to talk with you,you need medications to fix your problem,or you can suffer all live without.
He open my eyes and this day I toke my first pills....28 July,2009.
I will never forget this day!
I had many fears and one of them was medications,but i risk and I do not feel sorry.
I just wish I did that long time ago!

Hug from Slada
Posted 8/10/2010 10:51 AM (GMT 0)
Good Morning Dear Mary,

I am sorry I am a bit slow in responding :( - shame on me !

My therapist felt I had some components of PTSD after many sessions with her since last February.  It will be 20 years on Thursday since our son and his best friend died in the car crash and I thought I was so tough and plowed right on through the years only to have a really bad time starting in March this year.  I have always had anxiety and depression but I felt I had dealt with my son's death.  I have always had flash backs and can remember every detail but this time I just fell apart and could not stop crying. Post-traumatic stress disorder symptoms can come and go. I also lost my 3 siblings within a 17 month time frame from 2008-2009. 

Your counsellor sounds like a very wise person and I am happy to read you have found someone to help you on your journey through discovery.  You know you are always family here and we are thrilled to have you with us. 

Remember to be good to yourself and it is amazing what we discover about ourselves when we have someone to help us through the rough times.

Blessings my friend,

Kitt

Posted 8/10/2010 11:03 AM (GMT 0)
I was shocked that my PTSD emerged in my life when I was recovering from spinal L4/L5 disc fusion. When I was BUSY with work and distracted I mostly kept it at bay. I think we all heal in different ways, but only by first reaching out and telling each other. My experience is the path of least resistance makes sense to me as I treat myself well and live as healthy a life as possible. You are not alone.
Kata

Psoriatic Arthritis
L4/L5 Disc Fusion 3/2009
L4/L5 Synovial Cyst Laminectomy 11/2007
PTSD
Chronic Pain

Post Edited (KKat) : 8/10/2010 5:06:44 AM (GMT-6)
Posted 8/10/2010 5:40 PM (GMT 0)
Oh STKit- you have lived thru every mother's nightmare- my heart goes out to you.
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