Hello again everyone. ! My name is Marie-Claire. I haven't been on HW for a while now , I have PTSD, depression and anxiety disorder, crohn's disease, diabetes, hypertension and RLS...The PTSD
.. at times it is manageable.. barely . Other times it controls my life. It was not too long ago that I was a regular member here.. came to check the forums everyday and contribute, help if I could. Thought I was doing sooo well.
My girls are 20 and 21 now... my beautiful grandaughter 2 1/2. When my 21 year old got a full time job, and my 20 year old was well settled with hubby and baby, I thought ... yippee.. time for mom . What a huge disappointment when the flood gates openened and all the horrible events of my life, that I had so carefully suppressed to care for my girls, suddenly came crashing in ; dark and darker! Paralyzing.!
I have been in counselling , intense counselling., for one year and 2 months now... I keep thinking everytime I walk over to my appointment ... " what could possibly surface now... but something always does, always ! It never ends. When I think I have come to an epiphany and feel so proud of myself for this major breakthrough ... I'm confronted with yet another buried memory , and the process begins all over again.
Just thought I'd return to my place of safety . HEaling Well is a great sounding board. I am ashamed of myself for now being here for some of you during your hours of need. I felt , in the " I don't want to live anymore , but don't want to die either" mode I was in.. I wouldn't be much help to anyone.
But I see Kitt is still here, dear heart.. and Lyn .... Please accept my apologies and regret at not being here to help.
Will be here more often now ... Looks like this PTSD is going to take longer than I thought to 'fix' ... so may as well try to help in spite of my dark and disabled mind.. there still is a ray of sunshine in there from time to time.
Mary