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feeling so alone right now it scares me

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Posted 9/28/2010 2:30 AM (GMT 0)
issues have come again latley.. had a smooth few months, but got really panicky latley over something and it scared me so much and i know that id be ok if i just had a few ppl in my life who showed me love and compassion.. i dont know if i can do this life by myself like this. i honestly need to be around ppl at times, my parents are around but i just wished they showed me abit of love just a little bit maybe some nice words at times some encouragement, lift my spirits but i dont get any of that, i dont feel special at all, am i that horrible of a person my own parents cant show me any love i just dont understand it.. i tell my son i love him everynight i say and show i care all the time i dont know why i cant have that. i know not everyone has family support but they are usually the ones who dont make it and crack i just dont want that to happen to me, i just want a fair go in life. my heart is good i dont understand. theres no one to call, no one to tell me its going to be alright. what should i do?
Posted 9/28/2010 2:42 AM (GMT 0)
Hi oldsoul84,

I'm very sorry to hear that you're feeling that way right now. Hopefully it will bring you some comfort to know that you're not alone and that many of us on these forums can sympathize with you.

Unfortunately, it seems that many people who do not experience anxiety have a bit of "sympathy burnout" and frustration with not understanding why you can't just "fix it", but please understand that they still love you, despite how it may feel on your end.

Now, I know it sounds cliche, but it's true. Everyone on these forums is in this together, and we share a special bond in that regard. I don't have to know you personally to fully sympathize with you and care about your well-being. Many of the people on this forum would be MORE than happy to develop long-lasting, strong, supportive relationships with each other based on a common understanding of one another's trials and tribulations. Use this forum to develop those friendships. The age of the internet is a great blessing to many people who would otherwise feel very alone. Take advantage of it :-)

I hope you feel better soon!
Posted 9/28/2010 3:07 AM (GMT 0)
Thank you, the net has helped in many ways over the years, we are all family here :) i just wish there was more love in this world, it would make all the difference, perhaps there is alot of love in the world, just not in mine!
Posted 9/28/2010 3:10 AM (GMT 0)
ITS GONNA BE OK...xxxxxif u read this and u need some one to talk to let me know...and ill give u my number...i have a child myself and i tell him 1,000000000 times a day i love him..i know it hurts not to get it from the people u want it from..xyour not alone.....
Posted 9/28/2010 3:12 AM (GMT 0)
Yes, what Trn said is all true! We are all here for you:) I know for a fact that many wonderful, loving people have not-so-wonderful, unloving familys! You can not internalize how others treat you, as a reflection of who you are as a person. You will end up feeling bad about yourself, when in fact you are not to blame. You are a special person, you are good hearted, and you are going to make it! (in other words you're not going to crack) like I said, we are all here ready to suppport and understand. It is however good to have an outlet that is more tangible. Do you have a community center where you could perhaps take a class of interest? Would you be able to do some volunteer work? These are great ways to get out and meet/help people, form friendships and feel good about one's self! Until then know that we are in your cheering section! GGGGOOOOOO Oldsoul!!!;)
Peace to you,
Scaredy Cat
Posted 9/28/2010 2:02 PM (GMT 0)
Hello Old Soul,

I am sorry to read you are having issues again my friend.  Wondering if you ever read your responses in your previous posts ?   Sticking with us and responding to the advice offered in each of your threads may help you rather than waiting to feel you are in trouble again. You may want to stick to one thread and keep it ongoing so we can help you through the good and the not so good times.

We are here to support you so keep on talking with us. 

Gentle Hugs,

Kitt

Posted 9/28/2010 6:39 PM (GMT 0)
Sometimes the world really does feel like a cold place. I remember having a panic attack in public and crawling around on the sidewalk and was so disillusioned by the fact that not a single person stopped to ask if I was OK. They just gave me weird looks making me more self-conscious and panicky. It reminded me of a news story where a biker was hit by a car that just drove off and all these people continued to walk along the busy sidewalk as this person lied motionless in the middle of the street. One person did slow down, but only to take out their cell phone camera. The whole thing was recorded on a street cam. It took a couple minutes before someone came up to check on the biker.

But while many people are afraid to help others and are not always bursting at the seam to be positive and encouraging, there are many other people that are positive, that are caring, that are loving.... We need to surround ourselves with these people and remember that one person's negative attitude need not reflect the next person's or the world as a whole.

Your parents may not be able to show love in the way that you'd like, or they may not fully understand what you need and how desperately you want their love. Some people show love by their actions and can't verbalize it. Fortunately for your son this trend will end with you! And I'm sure your son loves you and appreciates your love more than he realizes or can even tell you.
Posted 9/29/2010 6:29 AM (GMT 0)
Hello, thanks alot everyone you have shown alot of compassion on here which is what ive needed so i thank u all for that, thanks mark for offering to talk to me personally, maybe you can send me your number through email although i dont want to bother you in anyway.

well since having my meltdown as i call it, yesterday.. ive still felt abit annoyed by the whole irrational thinking think that popped up, to do with issues of the past and it sneaked up on me and twirled me around abit, but i have realized that i have since overcome those issues and it just led me sideways and i understand how it all came about and was just having trouble getting back on track again, and im feeling better about things now as i think im getting on track again but usually id have my good friend around who i would talk to and just let things out about me having issues latly i dont even feel i need to talk about everything in detail but as long as i get out something and i can be me and not feel like im hiding anything i feel fine.. but im having issues with my friend and i just feel like ive lost the connection with her, she is abit younger and hasnt been through much and i suppose i relied on her so much this past year and her alone which was a big step for me, since before i met her i just hid from the world basically and i opend up with her about alot of things which made me feel relieved, not alone and bonded with someone which made me feel safe and now i feel its come to an end with her and i just dont want to go back to having no one again, and im having abit of anxiety now about who will i talk to verbally about things because last time i had an issue and i didnt verbally get it out i got so sick but eventually i met up with her again and got it out and i just moved on, i realise as soon as i get it out its over and i move on with my life untill the next issue :p but i just need that someone there and now shes not, so im trying to find a number of this other girl that i met ages ago and i just cant find it and dont know how to contact her, shes told me shes had some issues in the past so i wont feel like such a weirdo talking to her. i just cant go back to the way i was living b4, it scares me to think what wouldve happend to me if i never met that girl who has been my friend for a year.. ive come so far with myself and my issues simply by having a bond with someone where i can feel myself and not have to hide anything and know that i have been accepted regardless. which makes me think perhaps i need a relationship lol i feel kinda stuck now i guess which kinda sucks as i was moving foward all the time into my freedom. oh well, so now you all know abit more about my "issues".

And to kit, thanks for your advice about reading and responding, i have a habit of getting out i have an issue then i disspaear and i come back when i have another one but your right, it would be better to read and reply as it would be more like conversing then which would help me alot more.
Thanks everyone!!
Posted 9/29/2010 3:18 PM (GMT 0)
oldsoul,

I am glad you got such great response and yes do keep on talking with us and perhaps your issues may not overwhelm you if  we can support you like a family. :)

 

I am so glad you have one that one girl to be your friend and help you out.  I still struggle with not having any close friend since I retired.  I feel like I am just floating alone and the phone never rings.  It breaks my heart to have lost so many friends so I know how you feel about needing someone in your life that will be a friend.

Thinking of you my friend in HW and I hope you keep on talking with all of us.

We care.

Hugs,

Kitt

Posted 10/1/2010 2:22 AM (GMT 0)
I am so sorry you feel alone. I recently lost both my parents and its basically me and my kids and up to me to support them and be strong and its so hard when its just me and i dont really have any friends, and me and my fiance keep breaking up. nothing seems solid anymore and my anxiety --which i have had for 15 yrs is at its all time high now. I plan to just start coming here for lots of support...hopefully make friends, maybe eventually friends i can text when i need a shoulder. may not be a physical shoulder, but we are ALL HERE FOR EACH OTHER! keep us informed and come back and lean on us!
Posted 10/1/2010 5:33 AM (GMT 0)
Hey Slivers, welcome! Yes we are all friends and here for each other. It is amazing the power of a common bond-it does mean so much to know that someone else has felt as you do. I am glad that you have joined us! Will you consider posting a new topic thread, so that all can say a big warm welcome as well? (new members can get overlooked if they are tagged on to the end of an existing post) Hope to hear from you soon:)
Take care,
Scaredy Cat
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