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how do you calm down? esp in the middle of the night?

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Posted 10/9/2010 3:28 PM (GMT 0)
For that past 4 months or so I have been experiencing panic attacks in the middle of the night, waking me from sound sleep.  These have never happened before, and have led me to seek treatment because there's nothing I hate more than waking up at 3am, being the only one awake, with the dry mouth, shaking, arm and leg stiffness, terror, upset stomach, nausea, and diarrhea.  I know that last night my attack was most likely triggered by all the talk yesterday throughout the day of people having upset stomachs (i'm deathly afraid of throwing up or being sick like that) and I can remember most of my dreams had to do with people around me being sick which probably was the tipping point.  Aside from that, i'm having IBS like problems, (not diagnosed yet) where i go through bouts of diarrhea, then normal BM, then constipation or rabbit turds (sorry to be graphic)  Lately I haven't been able to go much at all, so maybe the stomach upset and the diarrhea was my body's way of getting a much needed BM, but it still left me unsettled through the night, waking me almost every hour until this morning.  I"m exhausted, physically and mentally and I don't know how much more of this I can take.  Before last night I hadn't had a night attack for a while, since I started taking Xanax.  I try to not use it every night but maybe I should have last night.  It's hard to tell, and I don't want to use it 'just in case' every night. 

Luckily my boyfriend was awake and helped me calm down alot, but it's causing me to avoid food.  I'm afraid to eat because since december of last year i've been eating alot healthier and losing weight steadily, but if I eat something, then have a stomach ache i consider it a trigger food and i avoid it.  now i'm getting to the point where i'm avoiding most foods because my logic is "if there's nothing in me to throw up, then i wont throw up" but i don't want to develope unhealthy eating habits or worse yet some kind of anxiety caused eating disorder.  parden the pun but, my plate is full enough and i'm getting sick of my body and my mind.  i want a new one :(  I just feel so alone when this happens, and all rationale goes right out the window, i can't slow my mind down, i try the breathing exercises and they only work sometimes. 

Does anyone have similar experiences with this and if so, what are your coping mechanisms.  I'm so desperate i'll try anything.  I just need some relief and having a plan b, c, d, e and so forth might help me in itself because i'll be distracted trying out everything you suggest.  thanks everyone.

Posted 10/9/2010 5:08 PM (GMT 0)
Sorry to hear about the rough time. I haven't had a whole lot of them, but I have had a few middle of the night panic attacks. These nocturnal attacks are scary, because we usually think of sleep as being a peaceful time. I used to look forward to sleep and feel the calmest as it got later just knowing that I would find peace once asleep. Then I started to wake up in the middle of the night in the middle of a panic attack; not about to have one, but already having one. It really catches you off guard and took it took away the only time I truly felt at peace in a 24hr period.

Unfortunately all you can do is treat it the same way you would if you had an attack during the day. If you choose not to take a Xanax preemptively, maybe you can just keep the bottle and a cup of water near your bed so that you can easily pop one if/when you wake up mid-attack.

As far as the breathing techniques, there are different types of techniques. Maybe it would help to look into and research some other relaxation methods. I've learned a couple different ways to relax my body when I get anxious. Some work better than others and some seem better suited for different situations. Also simply having more options, more techniques or tools at your disposal will both help in the moment as well as give you a greater sense of peace and confidence just knowing you have more options to choose from when needed.

Have you been to or considered counseling about your dietary anxiety? It's natural for us to draw associations between things such as a certain food and getting sick. But just as those associations or connections can be learned, they can also be unlearned.
Posted 10/9/2010 10:17 PM (GMT 0)
thank you for your support Fugs, it's nice to know someone is out there somewhere hearing my cries. since i know where most of my anxiety stems from i'm going to try researching information about my trigger... hopefully it will put me at ease somewhat.

take care and i'll keep you posted.
Posted 10/10/2010 1:22 AM (GMT 0)
Hey RM, yeah I've had the nausea w/ my A/P as well. It helps me to realize that although I've had sick feelings hundreds of times, the grand total of actually vomiting from this is zero. It's not eating or food that makes us sick, it's the anxiety manifesting itself in a physical way. I dread throwing up too, and struggle w/ worrying about getting the stomach flu. I have to tell myself over and over that in all probability I won't, and if I do I will get through it. It's kind of ironic that worrying about stomach issues just exacerbates them, so I try to talk myself down with positive thoughts and mantras. I hope that you will consider some therapy for these troubling attacks. There is relief from panic! Though I still have to fight the anxiety, since completing CBT, I have been attack free. I am sorry that you have the nocturnal p/a's-I had those and they were miserable! Fugs gave you some great advice. I agree with the idea of having your relaxation techniques at the ready when the panic strikes-that means practicing every day. I also like to say the mantra "I am okay, it's only fear, I have faced this before"
I hope that things improve for you soon. I am sending encouragement your way!
Take care,
Scaredy Cat
Posted 10/10/2010 1:38 AM (GMT 0)
thanks SC, yeah you both are right. i have started therapy but i'm only going to my second session monday so its still all intake paperwork so she has an idea of where to start with me lol

i've been reading a book about meditation and there is a chapter about learning how to slow down your mind and control your thoughts. it's very interesting but takes alot of mental and physical discipline. I hope it helps. i'm so desperate i will try anything. if you told me to stand on my head once a day while singing twinkle little star, i'd probably try it lol. i just feel like such a slave to my body and mind, rather than the other way around. i feel like giving up, but there is no giving up... if i give up, what happens? i live like this forever. and i can't do that. i just can't.

before the anxiety started, when i was younger, i dealt with the depression with sleep.  it was my safe haven.  but now i can't even look forward to sleep to get away from pain or terror.... it seems it's waiting in my dreams.  i feel so vulnerable and out of place.  sleeping was my only safety from everything... no pain, no numbness, no nothing.  just nothing.  and i dont even have that anymore. 

Post Edited (rmcconn85) : 10/9/2010 7:44:16 PM (GMT-6)

Posted 10/10/2010 2:16 PM (GMT 0)
Glad to hear that you are in therapy, and reading up on your own! These will both help. I know the feeling of being so frustrated from not being able to escape from the P/A with sleep. It's like being tortured 24/7. I had a horrible time with waking panic and indescribable nightmares. Both have virtually disappeared through therapy. You will get your restful nights back-be patient;)
Sweet dreams (hopefully!)
S.C.
Posted 10/10/2010 3:11 PM (GMT 0)
Hi! I don't have any good advice - just wanted to let you know that I too can identify. For me, it's more waking up and getting obsessed by a frightening thought that I just can't let go of. When I finally do get back to sleep and wake again in the morning, I always wonder why I got soooo wrapped up in the idea during the night. It seems less frightening - but sometimes still serious - in the morning. Weird.

percycat
Posted 10/11/2010 12:14 PM (GMT 0)
i guess cause at night, there's never anything on tv, there's nothing to really do, and you don't want to because you're so tired you just want to get back to bed. in the night, you feel alone because everyone else in your household is sleeping comfortably, you dont want to bother anyone by waking them, but you feel so lonely and scared. for me, by the time the sun starts to rise, i can finally settle onto the couch or back in bed and fall asleep. which is strange lol because i hate napping during the day, but for some reason i feel more at ease sleeping while others are awake.
Posted 10/11/2010 10:37 PM (GMT 0)
That's great that you've started the counseling. It might take some time for you to really notice some change - so be patient with it.

And I know that feeling of lying in bed awake knowing that everyone around you (not just those who you live with, but all over your part of the world) is asleep and you should be too. I've found myself many times looking at the clock. "It's 1AM. If I fall asleep now, I'll get 6 hours of sleep. 2AM... 3AM... that means only three hours of sleep." I was so nervous about an appointment a few months ago that I literally laid in bed all night and only fell asleep at 5:40 when I had to be up at 6. Forcing yourself to sleep doesn't work.

I've heard it said that you shouldn't stay in bed for more than 20 minutes or so. If you can't sleep then you should get up and do something for awhile and then try again to sleep. I don't usually do that myself, because I'm too tired to do anything but lie there thinking about how little sleep I'm going to get and how tired I'll be tomorrow. But I have heard of another approach that oddly enough seemed to help. The idea is to not try to fall asleep. Instead of telling yourself that you have to get to sleep, tell yourself that you now have an opportunity to sleep if your body chooses to take it. You tell yourself, "If I want to sleep, this would be a good time. But if I don't sleep then that's OK. I'll take whatever I get, whether it's 8 hours or 1 hour. If I'm still tired during the day then I'll take a nap". Not feeling the self-imposed pressure to fall asleep has actually helped me to sleep.
Posted 10/12/2010 5:03 PM (GMT 0)
that's true too Fugs... Normally I jump right out of bed, which ppl say is bad to do cause it just adds to the jolt of anxiety, and i pace around, get a cold washcloth for my face and neck, check my pulse etc. I have woken up my fiance in the middle of the night and he (sometimes seems annoyed and i can totally understand...) he'll talk to me and rub my back and try to calm me down. sometimes if its bad enough i'll try tv or playing a video game, but usually i just have to ride it out until the nausea calms enough for me to lay down. i've even fallen back to sleep sitting straight up on the couch and boy were my knees sore lol i had my legs up on the coffee table and when i woke up i had to physically bend them with my hands and stretch them out throughout the day. but the exhaustion causes me to feel 'ill' the next day and normally i call out of work (i'm out unemployed currently) but employers frown upon that, no matter what you're reasons are. it's a terrible cycle that doesn't get the recognition it deserves as a terrible debilitating condition
Posted 10/12/2010 7:46 PM (GMT 0)
When I was going through the "peak" of my nighttime panic attacks, I used to fall asleep with the TV on. I know you're ideally supposed to make your room really dark and free of distractions, but when the biggest distraction is in your mind you can't escape it or turn it off. So by leaving the TV (or radio) on it helped me to think less about anxiety stuff because I could focus (even as I was falling in and out of sleep) on something external to my brain.
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