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out the closet with anxiety

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Posted 10/8/2010 9:01 PM (GMT 0)
Hi i am new here! i guess i will start off by saying i swear i was normal confused   I suffer from anxiety, a really bad case i think...  i have 2 beautiful children whom are my world.. my anxiety starts with them... i panic alot about them, I think for some reason that someone will come and take them away... from an experience of a friend and her child being taken away it plays on my mind like really bad... i am constantly cleaning them, my house... when they fall get bruises i totally freak out that some one will think bad things about me!!! i just want it to stop!!  i know i am a great mom loving caring.. but my anxiety has taken over so bad that i live in fear cry   i worry about everything, was my stove off did i make a good enough lunch for my daughter?  etc!! i am afraid to seek medical help b ecause of this!!

Another anxiety i have is with my husband, he is an alcoholic but he doesn't think so, when he drinks he is an emotional abuser... but sober very different person... i have attacks everytime he drinks thinking its gonna be one of those nights...  i freak out when he passes a certain amount of alcohol! i think his alcohol has alot to do with the stress and aniexty with myself!! i have spoken to him about it but to him he doesn't have a problem!!! i have only just now have spoken about my anxiety to whoever is reading this.. no one knows...

i just don't know where to go or what to do.... i just want it to stop and be normal and enjoy my life and my children!!!!!!!!!

Posted 10/8/2010 9:46 PM (GMT 0)
Dear zombiemom,

Welcome to HealingWell.  You have come to a great place to find supportive and caring people as we all have anxiety and there are many of us that have found help over the years here in this safe forum.

It feels to me like you are on the "stinkin thinkin" merry-go-round which feeds your anxiety.  Stinkin' Thinkin', otherwise known as thinking negative thoughts, is a common but unhelpful pastime. Imagine all the extra energy and creativity you could muster if you  weren't bogged down by thoughts of doom and gloom. Stop trying to predict the future and stay in the moment.  Remember you cannot go backwards in life and the future will be so move forward slowly and learn not to  fear the future.

Most of us worry to some of extent, but some of us worry so much that it interferes with our daily lives. Some degree of worry can propel us to make changes in our lives, but excessive worry is unproductive and uncomfortable. It robs us of the enjoyment of life.

Coming here and sharing your thoughts and anxieties with us is a great first step in learning to deal with anxiety.  Now try sharing your feelings with someone you trust,  a close friend, parent, sibling and your Doctor.  Each of us needs to reach out to someone for help just as we help others when they ask for it.

Again a warm welcome and know that we support you,

Kitt

 

Posted 10/9/2010 2:06 PM (GMT 0)
Hi ZM and welcome! I can relate-when I get particulary stressed, I start to have the irrational thoughts that often revolve around my kids safety. I try to repeat mantras to myself i.e, "My children are safe and well" or "I've done everything I can to keep them safe and protected" Beyond doing those things, you're not doing anybody any good with excessive worrying. In fact, you are taking a toll on your health, and possible setting up a pattern of anxiety for your children. I found help through therapy. If you are able, find a therapist that offers CBT (cognitive behavorial therapy) which can help you take control of your worrisome thoughts.
As for your other situation, have you looked into Al-anon? It's
a support group for loved ones of alcholics. They should be able to help you, and possibly your husband. I Wish you well, again I understand and am sorry for all that you are going through. Post often when you have questions, or want to vent!
Take care,
Scaredy Cat

'
Posted 10/9/2010 4:23 PM (GMT 0)
Hi Zombiemom. I agree that counseling might be a good option to give you an outlet to express some of your concerns. You mentioned that nobody knows about your anxiety. That means you're likely giving yourself additional anxiety by holding it inside and trying to handle it alone. You are worthy and deserving of more - don't deprive yourself of the support of those around you or of the help a qualified professional can offer.

In my own therapy session this very week we touched upon what I thought was a simple, yet important point. It's the difference between possibility and probability. I have health anxiety in that I'm frequently afraid of having a heart attack. The medical tests have shown that I'm healthy and nothing is likely to happen, but I still fear it. Thus the probability might be 99% that I'll be fine, while the possibility of something happening is only 1%. Yet, I live my life focused on that 1% possibility (essentially hiding from the world) even though that doesn't make sense. You'll unfortunately never have a 100% guarantee that your children will never get hurt. But by loving, supporting, and teaching them how to care for themselves the probability of something happening greatly decreases. It's an imperfect world and all we can do is be prepared.
Posted 10/10/2010 2:02 AM (GMT 0)
Welcome, Zombiemom.

I can empathize with your situation with your husband. Having such a key person in your life who is unpredictable makes it so much harder for you to maintain your own stability. The feelings of being on eggshells or always off-balance, not knowing whether he's the man you fell in love with or the mean drunk really do a number on your ability to deal with your other responsibilities, including your precious kids.

Do give some thought to counseling. I've found it helpful, especially in sorting out difficult relationship issues. Being able to bounce ideas off a professional can really help, and it is always confidential.

Hang in there, and let us know how you're doing.

percycat
Posted 10/12/2010 1:50 PM (GMT 0)
Than you all for replying........

kitt- I do believe i am on the stinkin thinkin merry go round... how to get off i have yet to find a way :( i will admit i do thin alot and it feed my attacks more and more...

I want to go to a doctor and tell them whats going on but, i haven't been able to get over that hump!! :( I want to relax and breath :(

Does anyone know of any ways of coping... i have tried counting to ten, i have tried telling myslef it wil be ok, which works only when its not a really serious situation..

my budget doesn't allow me to be able to pay for therapy or counseling :(
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