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Very anxious and starting new job

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Posted 10/14/2010 2:25 PM (GMT 0)
Hi all im new here,

I just wanted to say ive been dealing with panic disorder for the last 8 or 9 days and i am starting a new job tomorrow. I have irrational thoughts on my mind 24/7, it feels like im constantly about to have an anxiety attack (from the moment i wake up to the time i go to bed) my mind cant get a break!. I'm so worried that i might have an anxiety attack at work tomorrow which will limit my attention on my duties. Is it ok if i take Valium(2mg)? I took some tonight and it made me smile, socialize and get out of the house without panicking! (something i couldn't do for the last 9 days without feeling anxious). I guess im asking because im afraid i may become addicted because tonight felt too good to be true.

Im also starting up lexapro(20mg) tomorrow because i dont want to become addicted to valium (i guess i just need something to take the edge of things for now?).
Posted 10/14/2010 4:13 PM (GMT 0)
Hi Dammy and welcome! I am sorry that you are suffering with the panic. The good news is that you are trying to get help early. A lot of people don't even know what they are dealing with right away, so you are ahead of the game in that respect. I also had panic syndrome that felt like one big cycle of anxiety attacks all day long. I never took medication, so I can't comment on your questions reagarding those, but I can say that you are wise to be concerned about mixing and becoming dependent on them. Your doctor can guide you in what is best for you. Be patient in letting them build and level-out in your system, as I do know this takes time.
Congratulations on your new job! I hope that it goes well for you. If you do start to suffer an attack at work, go to a quiet place if possible (restroom, or your car) and practice some deep, slow breathing. Progressively relax your muscles from the top of your head all the down to the feet. Repeat a positive mantra such as "I am okay, this is only fear, I can get through this"
I hope that once things settle down for you, you will consider trying some therapy. I really believe that it is the best long-term solution for treating anxiety and panic. If you are covered by health insurance, ask for a referral from your g.p. If not there are some on-line (free) versions.
Good luck tomorrow-you'll do great!
Scaredy Cat
Posted 10/14/2010 5:34 PM (GMT 0)
Hi Dammy,

I'm not a doctor and I can't give you medical advice (tell you how much to take and how often). What I can tell you is that many psychiatrists will give you an antidepressant to help with anxiety. The antidepressant can take 4-8 weeks to become effective. So in the meantime they'll give you something for the anxiety (like the Valium). While it may have the potential for addiction, the idea is to use it short-term until the other medication kicks in. Your doctor should tell you whether he or she wants you to take the Valium regularly for now or as needed. Each person's case is different. My suggestion would be that if you don't take the Valium before work that you bring some with you just in case. Even if you don't use it at work you may feel better just knowing that it's there if you need it.

And as Scaredy Cat brought up.... great job of addressing the issue right away. Many people go undiagnosed (or misdiagnosed) literally for years if not decades before getting the help they need.
Posted 10/14/2010 11:05 PM (GMT 0)
Hello and welcome to HealingWell. Congratulations on the new job. Good point by Fugs re the meds. Sometimes your Dr. will give you a little Valium to help you until the Lexapro kicks in. If you have the medication and you have been prescribed 2 mgs by your Dr. then I would take it and not worry about becoming addicted to it after a few doses. My Dr. and most Doctors now days are very careful about refilling these drugs without seeing you on a regular basis so you probably won't have access to it long enough to become addicted.

I have used this drug and never felt any high or any desire to take it to feel good, just to take the edge off high anxiety or prevent a panic attack.

I feel like once you are established in your new position the anxiety level will drop for you. It is the fear of the unknown that weighs on so many of us.



I am not a doctor so this is just my humble opinion.



Let us know how you are doing.



Kindly,

Kitt
Posted 10/15/2010 11:12 AM (GMT 0)
Hi all i managed to do my whole 9 hour shift today.It was tough, when i felt a bit of anxiety starting to kick in i wanted to give up and go home (however i didn't). I also noticed that the job made me focus on other things and i actually managed to distract my mind for a brief period of time.

Anyways i think i should tell you a bit about myself and my struggles with anxiety. I've been dealing with anxiety for 6 years now (my first anxiety attack occurred when i was 16, It happened after i watched the movie "the ring). I totally freaked out and i had panic disorder for about 4 months, i was so afraid of becoming possessed it was debilitating. I also had no idea why i was feeling this way and it was horrifying to say the last but i did overcome the fear(without any meds too).

Then after 2 or 3 years i had another anxiety attack, I was not used to having anxiety because it had been such a long time. That one anxiety attack got me over thinking and i relapsed into panic disorder+agoraphobia (i overcame this with meds and it took about 2 or 3 months).

Ok so onto this anxiety disorder.. I just recently came off my meds about 5 months ago, I was feeling amazing for those 5 months until i saw a documentary on schizophrenia, that same night i had a panic attack and ive now got this fear that i may become schizophrenic and be chucked into a mental institution. I also have fears of becoming depressed and killing myself and also having psychosis. I keep psyching myself out, thinking im hearing things and seeing things. It's really driving me insane! My twin brother had the same fear of schizophrenia and he overcame it.

Will i get better? My fear has made me believe im just getting worse :(
Posted 10/15/2010 2:11 PM (GMT 0)
Dammy88
Will you get better ~ yes I do believe you can learn to lower your anxiety levels and have fewer attacks. Anxiety however usually is always hanging around ready to ambush us so it becomes a matter of learning what triggers you and accepting that you have anxiety.

It feels to me like you have a couple differnt anxieties going on so let me explain anticipatory anxiety which is my toughest challenge.

Anticipatory anxiety is where a person experiences increased levels of anxiety by thinking about an event or situation in the future. The worries you experience specifically focus on what you think might happen, often with catastrophic predictions about the event.

To begin treating anticipatory anxiety, we must be able to admit that we cannot predict the future. Any scenario we are able to imagine is nothing more than speculation and fabrication.

Picturing positive outcomes can significantly reduce apprehension, which can lead to increased levels of confidence and an overall elevation in mood.

When you find yourself wondering, "What if..." Stop! Take a deep breath; breathe in through the nose, hold the air in your lungs for a count of four, then slowly let the air out through the mouth. While you are doing this, consider the possibility that you are being unrealistic and irrational. Focus on positive or neutral outcomes.

I use this breathing exercise when I am driving and I suddenly start to feel anxiety which kicks in thoughts of what if I can't make it home and have to pull over on the freeway. Only one time in my 28 year history of anxiety disorder have I ever had to pull into a parking lot and call home to talk with my hubby who helped me get my anxiety under control before I could proceed to keep on driving.

I admire you for making it through your first day so each day should come easier for you.

Kindly,

Kitt
Posted 10/15/2010 2:13 PM (GMT 0)
People who suffer with anxiety and panic usually fear two primary senarios. That they are seriously ill/dying, or that they are going crazy. It is very common to think that you are losing your mind when you have A/P. The good news is that this is a common and unfounded fear. Just as someone who suffers health anxiety doesn't have all of the diseases that they dread, neither are you bound for the institution!
From reading your post, I strongly suggest that you steer clear of watching shows that involve psychological/occult/possesion type themes. This is obviously a trigger for you. I found that I have to guard myself against medical dramas, or reading about people suffering illness, as my A/P is centered around health (I couldn't seem to care about losing my marbles! lol). My point is, that we all have our pet fears, and need to avoid the things that "feed" them.
If you are suffering more symptoms from your anxiety again, I strongly suggest that you look into therapy, or doing another (refresher) course. It can help you aquire so many tools to help you battle this fear! I hope that you are feeling better soon.
Scaredy Cat
Posted 10/16/2010 1:42 AM (GMT 0)
Thank you all for your help :)

Where do i find these refresher courses?
Posted 10/16/2010 3:25 AM (GMT 0)
If you can do a one on one with a therapist that would be ideal. If that's not possible there is an on-line version called Moodgym. I'm giving it a try right now. I think it could help you, or you could find an anxiety/panic workbook @ the bookstore, or Amazon books. Doing it on your own is nice, because you don't have to go to appointments, but your motivation and level of commitment have to be there! Whatever your choice, good luck and let us know how you're doing.
Scaredy Cat
Posted 10/16/2010 7:16 AM (GMT 0)
Thank you Scaredy Cat :)
Posted 10/18/2010 12:44 PM (GMT 0)
Ive been taking the lexapro for 3 days now.. the first day i didnt feel anything, the second day it was really hard (it felt as if my body/mind was rejecting it), now today its starting to make me feel more calm and its stopping a lot of my obssesive thoughts).

However I am a bit scared to sleep tonight. I remember watching this movie where there was this one schizophrenic girl who kept seeing this demon like thing chasing her around and hurting her(although it was all in her mind).Now im afraid i might start to hallucinate and see something similar, the other thing im afraid of is believing that the demon thing could be real(meaning ive lost my grip on reality).. Ive shut my door and im quite afraid to sleep.

Is it odd to believe in things like this? Especially if im 22.

Post Edited (Dammy88) : 10/18/2010 7:01:42 AM (GMT-6)

Posted 10/18/2010 4:25 PM (GMT 0)
Hi D, not odd at all. It's an input/output thing. We have to be really careful what we expose ourselves to. When our brain receives frightening images/ideas, it processes them into obsessive fears that can stick around and plague us for a long time. The fact that you recognize that this fear is manufactured from your viewing of the movie, is basically proof enough that you are not out of touch with reality. It was a strong suggestion that your anxious brain latched onto. There is a popular theory in CBT that says "What you think is what you feel" To counteract this fear, try repeating a positive mantra such as "I have anxiety, not schizophrenia" or "I'm okay, it's only fear"
Also considering that if your mind can be adversely affected by negative/scary input, why not try some positive/funny movies, music, books instead?
Take care, and let us know how it goes;)
Scaredy Cat
Posted 10/19/2010 7:45 AM (GMT 0)
Ok i'm going to see a clinical psychologist tomorrow. I'm a bit nervous.
Posted 10/19/2010 5:53 PM (GMT 0)
Great. Just try to relax and be honest. This person is there to help and he or she has likely worked with a lot of people dealing with very similar issues. That's not to say that you're not unique, but rather that you should feel free to be yourself and honestly share your concerns without fear of judgment. The more you share the more the psychologist can help. If it makes you feel more comfortable try making a list of a few key points that you want to bring up. But most likely on a first appointment it'll feel kind of like an interview as they try to get an overall picture of what you're dealing with. Good luck!
Posted 10/21/2010 6:29 AM (GMT 0)
Ok so i skipped my psych appointment yesterday and I really regret it, however i have rescheduled for today. I have been on lexapro for about 6 days now and i feel its making me more anxious and depressed. Is the first week on lexapro supposed to be really tough? Im also experiencing dizziness, blurry vision, insomnia and a heavy head (these side effects are making me worried and adding to my anxiety).

Should i continue taking lexapro? I know it takes about 4 weeks to start working but i feel terrible right now.
Posted 10/21/2010 1:44 PM (GMT 0)
I can't advise re meds, but can you try really hard to make the next appointment? They will hold all the answers, and techniques to help you long term, you are worth that!
Posted 10/21/2010 2:11 PM (GMT 0)
Hi D,
Ask your doctor about possible side-effects from your medications. I don't take any meds though, and have had dizziness, blurry vision and the heavy headed feeling, so those could just be anxiety related. (the heavy head thing is wierd-like you just have to lay your head down as it suddenly seems to weigh too much to hold up!)
I too hope that you can make your appointment today-we are all cheering you on-you can do it! If possible, take someone with you that can give you support through the waiting room time (often the hardest part) I think that once you get the initial visit under your belt, and you like the psychologist, you'll find your visits indespensiblesmile
Good luck,
Scaredy Cat
Posted 10/21/2010 2:43 PM (GMT 0)
I have used meds as without the medications I do crash and my dx is major depressive disorder plus GAD and PTSD. Lexapro side effects do include dizziness, insomnia and headache or heady feeling which also can be caused by anxiety so do talk with your Dr. and also know that with time most people will get past these feelings if it is the medicaitons causing the side effects.

I wish you the best at you appointment today.

Kindly,

Kitt
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