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I think the Holidays are going to make me go crazy!!!!

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Posted 11/23/2010 11:53 PM (GMT 0)
I just cant shake this feeling. Its not the first time Ive hosted the holiday gathering at my house so I dont understand why Im so on edge this time. My anxiety has really been high these past few weeks as Ive said in another post Ive had two panic attacks (which is alot because I hadnt had a PA in months) Now Im on edge this whole week. I keep getting that weird sensation in my chest which sends my heart racing, causing me to worry of course. Ive been so nervous and irritable and all I keep worrying about is having a PA Thursday. I try to calm myself down by telling myself "well if it gets too bad you can always excuse yourself and go to your room", but with my family...it will be hard to do without explaining. I just feel like crap Im not getting any sleep, I feel like Im not getting enough air, like somethings caught in my throat, feeling off balance (my usual symptoms but my worst) I just feel crazy. I go from excited and happy that Im going to see my mom (who lives in another state and I only see twice a year) to just being nervous and worried that theres something really physically wrong with me. I just wish this would go away I have so much to do and I just want to scream or go hide under my bed.
Posted 11/24/2010 12:34 AM (GMT 0)
Hang in there! Hosting a gathering is always a lot of work, and that definitely means anxiety can rear its ugly head. I'm glad you've found some positive things to look forward to - would it help you to try listing them, so that you can anticipate the happy aspects of the event, more than the bad ones?

And you're right that you could definitely excuse yourself. If folks push for an explanation, as you think they will, maybe you could just say, "I think I overdid it a little; I'd like to go lie down." That gives an "explanation" without having to discuss anxiety at all.

I don't remember whether you take meds, but I know some folks on here have found relief by taking a small dose of their "as needed" medication before a big, busy event.

Try to look forward to the good things to come this week - I think you're brave to host the meal!

percycat
Posted 11/24/2010 1:08 AM (GMT 0)
Hi NB, I know exactly how you feel! We just bought a new house last year, so we have hosted many gatherings in the past few months. I think the most frustrating thing to me is that entertaining is supposed to be fun! My husband doesn't understand why I get so stressed out. I sometimes spend the preparation time sick to my stomach and dizzy. The good news is that once the gathering gets started, I do end up able to relax and have fun.
Double your efforts on the positive visualization and mantras. Take extra time to relax, meditate, and do your breathing exercises. You will get through this! I hope that you can enjoy this time with your family, and not suffer anymore symptoms.
Let us know how it goes,
Scaredy Cat
Posted 11/24/2010 1:30 AM (GMT 0)
Thanks guys...Scaredy Cat you are right once the event gets going I usually am able to calm down a bit and have fun and forget about my anxiety. I just hope everything goes well.
Posted 11/24/2010 5:30 AM (GMT 0)
nelle,

You are going to be the greatest hostess and you will be making memories for all of your family and especially for yourself.  I can picture you now as you look proudly around at your happy family enjoying your warm and inviting home.

Be sure to take care of you and get plenty of rest. It is tempting to spend extra time at parties or events but give yourself permission to leave early or to pick and choose what events you will be able to attend and still remain positive.  

I have found that the bakery and the deli of the supermarket are my best friends.  I do not worry that my pies are not homemade or my cheese tray is from the deli.  It saves me time as well as anxiety in preparation and everyone enjoys the food no matter what.  If someone offers to bring a food item or beverage I accept gracefully.

Nelle, recall the memory of a childhood afternoon…simple, carefree, and with no concept of the meaning of time...Remember how naturally relaxed you felt? Take yourself back to that time as often as you can during the holidays.  Just be in the moment.

Holiday cheers to you.

Kitt

Posted 11/24/2010 5:50 PM (GMT 0)
I'm surprised that someone hasn't posted this sooner. Holidays are naturally stressful times for a great many of us. Last year I worked with my therapist in the weeks leading up to Thanksgiving because the holidays have not always been easy for me. There's too many people (which makes me feel boxed in) and there are too many personalities (which can lead to family drama).

I have to say though that last year went unusually well. I prepared myself well and did so in advance. I thought through different scenarios and how to handle them and I came up with neutral talking points for each person. I ended up not needing most of the "talking points", but I felt a sense of reassurance just knowing that I had them to fall back on if needed. I also gave myself permission to go into my room if I began to feel overwhelmed. I stayed out with the family for the first two or three hours and then excused myself. I went into my room, shut the door, watched TV, and did relaxation exercises for about an hour. When I came back out I felt better and continued to interact with the others as if I had never left. They noticed that I had stepped out, but nobody questioned me as to why.

I like what Percycat had to say about giving a reason for excusing yourself by being vague (so you're saying something, but without going into the details). Just knowing that you give yourself permission to step out and that you know what you'd say when doing so hopefully will give you a bit more comfort come tomorrow. Good luck!
Posted 11/24/2010 6:18 PM (GMT 0)
I am the same way. I get so stressed when it comes time to entertaining. I find that a schedule works well for me. I schedule everything I feel is important and needs to be done on a timely basis.  I will even schedule hour to hour until the event happens so I know I'm not missing anything ....this helps me to calm down. 

Posted 11/24/2010 8:08 PM (GMT 0)
Great responses by all.  Maybe we should list what we do for ourselves to help lessent the stress of the holidays ?

I will start a new thread for all.  Meanwhile , nelle, big breath and enjoy the moment making memories.

Gentle hugs,

Kitt

Posted 11/25/2010 1:21 AM (GMT 0)
Take a deep breath and give all your worries and anxiety to the Lord, ask Him to help you and SEND YOU HELP---sounds
like it might be a bit too much for you this time. I will be praying for you.
Posted 11/25/2010 6:13 AM (GMT 0)
Well I'm done all I have to do tonight and I did it all without having a PA. I fell a little better today than I did yesterday. Thanks everyone for the suggestions and thanks Camylou for your prayers. I will be sure to let everyone know how things went. Oh and Kitt I got my store-bought pie!!!
Nelle
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