First-time panic attack sufferer - frightened and confused

I'm a 26-year old guy. A few months ago, while at a friend's house, I experienced what I now believe to be a panic attack. I should first mention that I sort of suspect an energy drink I had that morning. (Rockstar) It's the first thing I guzzled down without anything else in my stomach. about 30 minutes later, the horror started...

I was standing in the kitchen, and started to feel a slight dizziness, as if my vision were tilting to the left side. The dizziness started getting progressively worse. Soon, my heart began to race, I became very cold and sweaty, I started to lose sensation throughout my body, I felt extremely nauseated, and I was hit by this massively depressive, hopeless and doomed feeling. I thought I was about to die right then and there. Not only was this fear racing through my mind, but life suddenly felt intolerable. The feeling of depression and hopelessness was so powerful that it seemed like death was the only way for the emotional trauma to end. I managed to crawl into the living room and yell for my friend to come to my aid. He tried to help calm me down, but I was shaking too much for him to hold onto me. Suddenly, everything felt strange. It's like I was having an out-of-body experience, or life was some kind of eerie dream. Nothing felt real anymore. Part of me just wanted to hurry up and die so I couldn't suffer the stress of the attack anymore.

The initial attack symptoms subsided after about 30 minutes - heart stopped racing, I wasn't sweating so much, and I didn't feel so dizzy. I was shaking for several hours, was extremely cold and pale, and the feeling of "unreality" persisted for several weeks after the attack. I returned home that day with the help of another friend, and had sickness symptoms for several days. I felt the hot / cold feeling you usually get when you have a cold or virus, I was fatigued and I spent most of the day slummed over the couch doing nothing. After I recovered from the sickness symptoms, I fell into a depression for several weeks. It was difficult to even eat, because I always felt so nauseated. The depression very, very slowly subsided. After it did, I began to feel a strange tingling in the left side of my left foot. (around the pinky toe, and slightly up the side of my leg) This sensation started to appear in the left side of my left arm, around the pinky finger; then appeared around my left eye. I also felt a constant sort of "dizziness" or "strangeness" in the left side of my head. I had light to heavy headaches off and on, spanning a few hours between one or two day intervals. Soon, I became very emotionally hypersensitive. It seemed like everything was able to depress or frighten me. I could barely watch TV, listen to music or be around other people. Everything just felt "disturbing." The hypersensitivity mostly subsided, but the tingling remained. I went to a family doctor and made several ER visits. After several tests, they either insisted it was anxiety, or that nothing was wrong with me.

For now, the tingling has stopped. It would occur off and on at different levels of intensity, and at what seemed like very random intervals. At the moment, I get the occasional light dizziness, or have borderline panic attacks. Whenever I feel a panic attack begin to onset, I'm able to ride it out by closing my eyes and doing breathing exercises. The most I feel is my heart racing for about a minute, some light feeling of "unreality" and some light feeling of impeding doom. It's nowhere near as intense as the initial attack I had.

I'm frightened to death that I'll have another attack similar to the first. I can't emphasize how unpleasant the experience was. Hands down, it is the absolute worst thing I have endured in my life, and I have no desire to suffer through it again. I don't think I could mentally handle another episode like that.

My doctor has prescribed Buspar and Ativan off and on, but I haven't accepted any anti-depressants. I'm worried that the first few weeks of beginning anti-depressant therapy might make me feel strange again, and only exacerbate a panic attack. Further, I'm worried about not getting the right thing, and just making my anxiety that much worse in the long-run. I feel like I need some guarantee anti-depressants would work, and be totally fail-proof.

I've developed a touch of agoraphobia since the whole thing occurred. It's difficult to even keep doctor appointments. Last time I tried to see a therapist, I backed out. I wasn't ready. Any time I try to walk into a store or public place, I start getting a feeling of "unreality" and I *have* to leave the area so I don't black-out on the spot. I'm positively, absolutely sure I would black-out if I forced myself in a public environment. The dizziness comes on so strong that I start to lose vision, and can't even hold myself up. The few times that I've made it to a doctor, I had to take Ativan to calm myself down, and carefully fend off panic attacks every minute.

I'm not sure what else to say. I'm wondering if anyone has experienced an attack with similar severity. Could this be something more serious? Is it normal for an attack to feel this bad; and should I expect to have attacks of similar severity in the future?

Hi, I haven't been here in awhile, but 'm glad i came back. What you describe sounds to me like its definitely a panic attack. You are right, they are horrible and I wouldn't wish one on my worst enemy. Please know that you are anything but alone in this. You have come to the right place if it is anything like it was when i first started having them. Do not let anyone tell you that it's "all in your head". I heard that way to much, but those that have them know better, and here is the place to find people that understand. I have had panic for over 13 years now, and they are still hard to take, although i can say, it gets easier with time. You have to tell yourself that this is just something that happens but it will NOT kill you!!! It just feels like it at times. ;) I was so scared the first time, i went to the ER. They couldn't find anything wrong except for my heart kept skipping a beat, and made my chest feel like it was going to explode, but...it still doesn't kill me, and it still does it. My doctor said that it is different for each individual, and they could stop just like they started, I haven't been that lucky, but I believe there are people that are. The bottom line is, you can learn to deal and have a 'normal" life, as much as possible. I wish you the best and yes, there are alot of people that have had attacks that bad and feel that bad, YOU ARE NOT ALONE!!! Best wishes, shell

Hi Wendel and welcome. I am sorry that you have had such a rough time! I know what it is to experience such terror! I suffered devastating panic attacks, sometimes daily for a long time. You described your attack so vividly and well, it really reminded me of the things that I used to go through.
I am here to offer you hope though. I know that you mentioned not being ready for therapy yet, but I urge you to push through the fear, and go. Take along a safe person to help you get there and keep you accountable to make your appointment if need be. Cognitive Behavorial Therapy has helped me 'get my life back' so to speak. I still have anxiety that I have to manage, but am no longer suffering the attacks, and unbearable physical symptoms of panic.
I was glad to read that you use the breathing exercises to help control your A/P. This is a great tool, but you will learn so much more through the help of your therapist! I know that once you get throuh the initial fear of the unknown, you will be glad that you invested in this healing step.
Stick around here too, this is an incredible place with the best information, people, and support! Let us know how you are doing soon.
Take care,
Scaredy Cat

You sound like my twin brother from another mother. Seriously. This is me to a "T"!!!

I back out of appointments all the time and feeling like I *have* to leave a store is just the worst. I will stare at the entry of Target for example, and every step towards the door makes me feel worse... like I'm going to faint or go crazy. The "tingling senations" are what I've been experiencing on and off for years. The trembling in my hands can last for hours after a panic attack.

Agorophobia is frustrating. Panic attacks are frustrating. You clearly are experiencing a lot of anxiety and panic. I honestly think an antidepressant would be beneficial. The thing with antidepressants is that yes, some may not work, but they are easy to get off of if they don't work. If they do work, well, then you've struck gold.

It is common for people to develop anxiety or panic disorders in their 20's. I'm 24 years old and started getting extreme agorophobia and panic at about 20 years old.

You are not insane! You are not dieing! You are totally normal. Unfortunately you are plagued by what we all have; anxiety and panic. You are not alone in this, and it will get better. It sounds like the Buspar and Ativan are helping. I was on Buspar and Ativan for a few months but it wasn't very beneficial for me.

Now I'm on Lexapro, Buspar, and Klonopin. Ativan just wasn't helping with the anxiety. I'm still adjusting to my new meds. I started Lexapro two weeks ago. (I was on Lexapro for 3 years but got off of it because I thought it was making me gain weight but in reality it wasn't) I started Klonopin a few days ago.

Might I also suggest seeing a therapist? It can be extremely helpful!

Welcome to healing well friend!

Things will get better! :)

TG~

Hi, Wendel.

I think with antidepressants that most doctors do start you out at the lowest dose, then try going up if you don't have relief from your symptoms, or backing off if a particular dose is causing problems. From many posts on this forum about medications, it really seems that they're different for everyone: what works really great for one person is intolerable to another. And just differences in dosage for the same person can make a big difference. When I first started taking medications, it wasn't until the third one that we found something that worked for me. Even then, from time to time, we'd have to adjust the dosage: sometimes higher for a while, then lower again, depending on how I was feeling.

Some of the antidepressants are also used to treat anxiety. I took Paxil for many years for depression. When I also developed pronounced anxiety later, I know that the Paxil helped with that also.

I understand your fear of another attack. They honestly are traumatic sometimes, and then the fear of them takes on a life of its own. I know that you want your life back the way it was, and to feel good again. The hard part is that it's a slow process to bounce back, and sometimes, you'll even lose a little ground. Just remember that those set-backs don't have to beat you: they might happen, and they might be frightening, but you can keep making progress even while you're feeling afraid.

Hang in there!

percycat

Hello,

I am new to the forum but wanted to share my experiances as I am sick of worrying my self to death about my feelings. I have also had strange things happen to me within the past few years. I am a 40 year old male with a partner and 3 children and was woken up one night with a racing heart that led me to get out of bed, then I started feeling very odd as if I didn't exist of things where not real but I still knew where I was, cannot describe the horrific feeling that something bad was going to heppen to me. My heart we beating very fast, I ended up in hostpital to find nothing wrong but didn't have any real tests, theyput it down to a possible panic attack in my sleep. Then this happened again months later while I was at work just talking to somone as normal that I felt ok with and all of a sudden it seemed my words sort of didnt come out with then this strange feeling as if a rush to my head then started feeling strange like I mentioned above, again I ended up in hostpital but nothing again, but as I say they didn't really do any tests. This is very scary and wondered if anyone has any advice of what this could be.

Thanks.

Much appreciated.