I'm new to this forum and could use some help...

I'm 29 years old and have suffered with panic attacks since my early twenties.  I know all the physical symptoms inside and out.  I also know that supposedly the can't hurt me.  Lately I've had a hard time believing this to be true.  I'm having palpitations on a regular basis that increase my anxiety and I have convinced myself that there is something wrong with my heart (OCD).  Every day I battle with the idea that at any moment I am going to drop dead of a heart attack.  Every time I think I am getting better something seems to take me right back to this place in my head.  I am truly tired of thinking about these things...could use some encouragement and words of reason.  Thank you...

Learning to not be afraid of such strong nervous sensations is not an easy thing to do. Once a fear becomes deeply rooted in the brain it is very difficult to unroot it. All I have to offer are the breakthroughs and gains I've made with my anxiety and panic attacks. I made my first recovery rigorously practicing two self help programs and I overcame my fear of flying and driving on the highway and was able to move out of state. I enjoyed ten years of this recovery but then recently had a major setback and became even more debilitated than before my initial recovery. It was triggered by something traumatic in my past surfacing and it took a toll on my emotional health. To fight back I've been using the same combination recovery systems and I'm making gains again which I write about in my recovery blog.

The fear of death is a common obsession with people who suffer from panic attacks. During my first recovery, I learned to break the obsession of fearing death during a panic episode by forcing myself to take physical action like walking briskly or climbing a flight of stairs and this physiclal action. I repeated this every time I panicked and the result was that my brain got the message and gradually stopped being so reactive to my nervous symptoms (butterflies in the stomach, palpitations, skipped beats, dizziness, or sweats). It helped my reasoning to kick in because I could not do these things if the panic was a medical emergency. With each success, I built up enough successes to draw upon so that when my "trigger symptom/s" that usually set of the panic became less and less frightening. I did have bad days when I gave into the symptoms but I had experienced members in my self help programs who had recovered and they helped me to get back up again and to take it in baby steps or in part acts and to not pressure myself to get well "yesterday."

Before my first recovery, I had a lot of head knowledge too, but it wasn't until I learned to fight my anxious/OCD brain with physical action that I was able to retrain my brain to respond differently. It was hard and laborious work but it was worth it. I've had to work even harder with this setback and it is taking longer. I've added a deeper spiritual component to my recovery work, but I know that's not for everyone but it's working for me. I'm definately not where I was during my first recovery, but I am able to give presentations, to travel downtown in a very big city...alone, and travel long distances out of state again. I still have a way to go.

I hope that helped. Either way, I give you my best wishes in slaying this dragon called panic and I hope that you never give up.

Take care

eagleswings63