im new to all of this.. I need help!

to be honest.. im scared of this, but i am at a low point of my life. I believe i suffer with anxiety, i get super weak at times and i faint. i have been to the doctor many times and every time i go, they say that nothing is wrong with me, but inside i'm screaming!! My family thinks i make up all this stuff in my head, but i keep telling them that something is wrong with me and that i really need help, but they don't listen. I have a older brother who my dad favors,and every time he gets a little scratch or something they rush him to the hospital, like its a HUGE emergency but ITS NOT!! and its so stupid because every time i faint or pass out, my dad and brother just laugh and they think its the funniest thing! but its not.. its scary i usually fall on the floor, eyes rolled back and in a cold sweat. It makes me feel like they don't care at all! my mom is always by my side and is super supportive and she tries to help but she has her ways of turning my problems around and making it about her own problems.
This feeling of being "unloved" makes me resort to other things alcohol to cope with the pain. i feel used and abused. so i resort to drinking alcohol. I feel so horrible that i don't want to move, my joints hurt.. I'm at the point where i don't want to wake up for school any more i just want to lay here. , i am extremely self conscious. I feel that i am alwasy being judged by people and that they think i am a ****, but i know thats not the case because i keep my business to myself. I feel like i am living a double life at times.. during the day i go to school where i am making great grades i am apart of many different organizations on campus and i am a rush helper for one of the frats on campus, i'm also planning on joining a sorority. I used to be a cheerleader and varsity swimming and water polo. I walk around with a happy face like nothing is wrong i have always been somewhat popular. but when i get home or some where private i cant help but to cry.
This year has been especially hard because i moved 5 hours away from my home town. away from my best friend... she was the only one who somewhat understood what was going on with me. so not only did i move away a month later she was sent to her boot camp in NJ so now communication has become scarce.. all i can do is write her letters.. This makes me cry more. because she was the only one who understood me.. someone PLEASE HELP! how do i feel less used.. i just want someone to care about me.. to love me for who i am.. thats all i want.. I want to be happy!! i want to stop geting nervous and jittery! i joints to stop hurting in class.. i want to be able to sit back and just enjoy life.. can someone help me?

Edit:  No discussions of illegal drugs or suicide per forum rules.

Post Edited By Moderator (stkitt) : 12/16/2010 6:26:48 AM (GMT-7)

when i get anxious i get extremely jittery my head starts to throb, my body gets tingly, my heart slows down and then it ultimately leads to me fainting. Its happened when i was at the doctor-hospitals make me nervous-
I don't get along with my parents and being in one place bothers me, so i practically moved in with my best friend when i turned 16. being with her is my escape.
ive been to the doctor about the fainting and he said that nothing was wrong but that i could have anxiety. then he got mad at my mom for not calling the ambulance when it happens and he had a long talk with he about it, so now she understands how serious this issue is. but i dad and brother still don't understand.
I am nervous about seeing a therapist but i know i need to. I'm about to hit rock bottom. I have a full scholarship to my university and doing drugs and drinking threatens my education. I know something needs to change before i completely break.

I am 18 gonna be 19. and thank you for your support. im happy someone can relate to having problems with their dads understanding.

-kristie

Kristie,

Welcome to HealingWell.  I am sorry for the edit but there are certain topics that we are not allowed to discuss in the forums. 

While most people do not faint while having  anxiety more often then not they have a fear of fainting. This fear can cause even more anxiety which in turn intensifies the anxiety and symptoms of anxiety attacks. The rise in blood pressure a person experiences while under a panic or anxiety attack is what causes a person to feel light headed or some times dizzy as if they are going to faint. Even if a person has never fainted during an anxiety attack the fear is more real then the reality of the situation. Controlled breathing can help to reduce these types of symptoms and simple distraction techniques can further calm a persons fears.

The most common form of anxiety causes people to breath faster which most likely will not cause you to faint however there are cases when a person has vasovagal syncope. This is a type of anxiety which causes a person to stop breathing. Most often associated with a blood or injury phobia a person will freeze up at the sight of blood or injures and stop breathing. The lack of oxygen to the brain is what causes people to faint. This form of anxiety is much rarer.

My daughter has vasovagal syncope so we know whenever she goes to the Doctors for any kind of blood draw or procedure to make sure she is lying flat on the exam table.

In even rarer cases people who do not experience vasovagal syncope may cause them selves to faint just by making it so real in their mind that they actually do faint. In these cases distraction techniques must be practiced regularly in order to achieve a more clam state. Not practicing these techniques could cause injury  under attack during a fainting spell.

I do feel that your parents do not appear to be taking your problems seriously.  Laughing at you when you have a fainting spell is not helpful at all. 

Do you have access to a counselor ?  I would like to see you get some therapy to help you learn how to deal with your feelings.

Coming here and sharing your concerns is a good thing.

Kindly,

Kitt

I have been seeing a therapist for a very long time. It can be helpful to speak with a professional and a therapist will be able to diagnose you with anxiety or what else you may be suffering from.

I personally have always had issues with my parents. I don't speak to my father much anymore, but he is so self-absorbed with making money and having his own business that he never talks about anything BUT business if you talk to him. He isn't concerned about much else.

I am far closer to my mother, who is the sweetest lady on the planet. I'm sure if you sit down each parent separately and explain how you feel, then one will come to an understanding and be able to help you. I did this with my mother years ago when i was suffering so badly, I sat her down alone without my father in the room and she was extremely supportive. She even took me to the doctor.

I also moved out of my parents house at the age of 16, so I know how that goes.

Therapy is key here! I'm going to stress this again. It sounds like you are suffering from anxiety. When you say your head starts to throb... does it feel like a band is wrapping around your head?

In stressful situations your blood vessels constrict in your head, when they can no longer constrict they release, and the blood flow goes rushing through, causing a "throbbing" sensation or headache.

The tingling is common and I experience it often.

The drugs and drinking are not going to help with your anxiety. They are going to make things worse. I have cut out drinking entirely from my life and it definitely helps with the anxiety and stress of life. Doing drugs and drinking will leave you feeling foggy and increase your stress level, and may also contribute to you fainting more frequently.

For your own sake, I would cut out the drugs and alcohol to make you more stable. Start seeing a therapist and maybe speak with a psychiatrist about possible medications once you get a proper diagnosis.

Anxiety can be confusing to diagnose yourself. I know tons of people that thought they were having heart attacks, went to the ER, and ended up that they were having panic attacks for example.

*BIG HUGS*

Let us know how you are doing.

Twiggygal~

Hi MKL, wow what a difference! You sound like you are doing so much better! Sometimes things are not as bad as we fear, and solutions to problems that were hidden appear out of nowhere.
I am especially impressed with the fact that though you are feeling better now, you still recognize the need to go through with therapy. It takes a wise and mature person to see that-well done!
I hope that things continue to go well for you. Thanks for the update:) Post again anytime with questions, vents or sharing!
Take care,
Scaredy Cay