Am I doing the right thing?

I'm a mother of a young adult who suffered two panic attacks all related to seeing a doctor.  She does not have a life threatning condition, but one she was about to undergo a surgery for and there were a lot of pre op appointments.  The surgery was canceled two weeks prior when she had a panick attack on the way to a consult.  Her second atttack was a few days later when she was going to her GP for the panick/anxeity issue.  She did not make either appointment. 

She is now in her third month of not being able to go to public places including work and school.  She has been taking baby steps- is able to go for short drives in her car, and does not have problems any longer with people coming into the house.  She still does not go into public places - stores or even drive through windows.

She needs to get help from a doctor and gets very nervous and upset and the thought of going.  We thought time would help this and I've seen great improvement over the months.  She has said she needs to go see the doctor, but doesn't want to know when the appt is made - just make it she tells me and I'll try.

I feel like the longer this goes on the more embedded it becomes to her, and worry that we've made an issue by waiting this long.   I do not have any experience dealing with these issues, and have seeked out help, but I'm told they will need to see her to help, and we can't get her there.  She tells me she is OK and not depressed or anxious at home or driving her car, but it did take time to get there (with the driving).  I feel these baby step may work, but she will be 80 by the time she resumes what is usual for her life without medical help. 

I've read through the post here and see there are some who have been through this, and gotten help.  I wonder if you could let me know if she should be the one to make the appointment (knowing that will still be awhile) or if it's time for me to just do it - tell her right before we go and even if she panicks get her there.   She truely has made a lot of improvement since this all started, so only want to do something that will help not set her back. 

If you have made it this far thank you for your patience - I know it was a long post.

The only thing I can say is that she can only go when she's ready. It took me over a month to even consider seeing a doctor, and then another month to fill my prescription. That's VERY fast compared to some others, who take months even years to finally work up the nerve.

The main thing to remember is that it isn't a logical thing. You can't talk "sense" into somebody with the disorder because it's pure emotion. That being said, I believe everybody comes around at some point when they say to themselves "I don't want to live like this any longer". Whether it's within a month or a year depends on the person...

i began having my anxiety at 19 years old i am now 22. I feel like the sooner she seeks help the easier it will be for her to recover from the trama of enduring panic attacks. and let me add ur a wonderful parent for reaching out to a community of people who understand since you admitted you didnt know how to deal with the matters at hand! ultimately it is up to her for when she feels comfortable! but i can just speak from my happenings thus being that the longer you wait for help the harder it is to overcome. because you begin to take on phobias. example being for me i cant travel outside of the city i live in without feeling like im in a threatening situation. once this begins you have a hard time believing doctors when they say youll be just fine because you have built it up within your head otherwise! i wish her the best with the road to recovery! its a dibilitating battle but we all know that if we want to get back to who we once were we got to fight and beat this!~

Concerned Mom 15
Hello and welcome to HealingWell. I have an adult daughter who has had the same problems as your daughter since she was 16 years old. We have worked long and hard together to get her to the point where she could visit the Dr. without me along with her.


The first time I did not go in the exam room at the clinic with her when she was 18 all heck broke loose at the clinic. The nurse went running past with the crash cart. I grabbed someone and asked if that cart was for my daughter and they said "Oh heavens no ".....I walked down the hall toward the exam rooms and could see it was outside the room she had been taken to. I will assure you she was ok but we did end up in an ambulance and she was admitted to the hospital that day so we had our work cut out for us after that.

Please know I am here to support you. I have heard of in-home psychological services but I do not know if this is available where you live. Do you have a county mental health services which may be able to provide you with any home service availability.

Another source that may be helpful to you is NAMI (National Alliance on Mental Illness) Anxiety would fall into mental health disorder/illness.

Try this link for info on NAMI :

http://www.nami.org/Template.cfm?Section=Your_Local_NAMI&Template=/CustomSource/AffiliateFinder.cfm

Remember to take care of yourself and keep on talking with us as we are here to support you. You are a wonderful and caring Mother and your daughter is fortunate to have you in her life as you are to have her.

I wish you peace,

Kitt