Switching Meds and Scared

So, I’m new here. Diagnosed 6 years ago with depression, social anxiety, and generalized anxiety, and prescribed Zoloft. At some point the dosage went up. Around the time my grandfather passed away, I started having panic attacks, and Klonopin was added to the mix.

Now, things aren’t going as well as they used to. I’m sliding back into some of the thought patterns I was practicing when I was initially diagnosed. It’s been extremely difficult, but with time, and discussion with my therapist, I’ve come to the conclusion that either the meds aren’t working, or they aren’t working as well as they used to.

I saw my psychiatrist today. Here’s where it gets complicated. I don’t like my psychiatrist. When I talk to him, he comes off as patronizing. His specialty is treating people with addictions, so I suppose it makes sense that his approach is a little more tough love than others. But *I* don’t suffer from addiction, and I am my own worst critic always, thank you. Bottom line: I don’t think we’re very compatible.

Good news: I have an appointment at the end of April to see a new psychiatrist. Bad news? I’m tired of waiting. I don’t want to wait that long to feel better. So, when I went to my appointment this morning I told it like it was. And lo and behold, he listened this time, and prescribed me new meds.

The idea of changing meds terrifies me. But I know full well that if I don’t make the leap of faith and try something new, I won’t get any better. So, at first I was scared, but proud of myself for being brave enough to admit that a change may be necessary.

Then I talked to my mother. Now I’m having doubts, and my anxiety has kicked into overdrive. I feel the need to talk to someone, but there’s no one I feel comfortable reaching out to. My therapist is away at a conference. I’ve worked myself up so badly that I can barely think straight anymore.

I don’t know what I’ll do. Should I have waited until I saw my new psychiatrist to bring up the possibility of changing meds? Does it really matter? Should I wait until I talk to my therapist to make a decision on going through with the new meds or not? Will I end up having to call the doctor who prescribed them and confess that I’m chickening out? I don’t know, but I *feel* like an idiot. A frustrated, lonely one. :-/

Welcome to both of you. I am sorry that you are struggling right now. It is hard to make such big decisions, especially when you are not feeling your strongest!

I do not take medication, so I will not try to advise you in that area. I do want to encourage you though! Librarianista (great name!) I am so glad that you have sought another p-doc! It is so important to have a good relationship with your dr./therapist. I was fortunate enough to have two different therapists who were both great, but I definitely felt more of a connection with one of them. It will make your progress so much better when you 'click' with someone!

MoaL, I am sorry that you are stuck at the moment. I want to encourage you to take small steps to do a little more every day. I was depressed in a pretty big way at one point in my life (anxiety and panic is the real issue for me) and I literally had to do the 'baby step' thing. I would write down on a piece of paper the few things that I set as a goal for that day. Each day I would try an extra thing, until I was moving again. I hope that you can find your momentum again soon.

You are both welcome here, and I hope that you will find this is a great place full of information, support and caring members. Please feel free to start a new introductory post, so that all members can see it and welcome you:)

Take care,
Scaredy Cat

Welcome to Healing Well - librarianista and mess of a life.

I am so glad you found us and many of your stories relate to mine however I have been going through these feelings for 29 years. I had many good years where anxiety would pop it's head up to remind me this was a disorder I would always have to use my strength to fight my way back from tough times.

I did not like my psychiatrist all the well at first as I thought she could fix me, give me a bottle of magic pills and would be on my way. It did not work that way so we tried many meds and also off to therapy.

My psychiatrist finally told me that medications alone won't make you happy as they are likened to ain pills. Pain pills take the edge off the pain but they will not make you feel 100% pain free.

I actually came to like her and respect her. She is very wise and when I can put my own ego on the back burner and listen to her - she is pretty smart.

Do feel comfortable posting, venting and just interacting with the wonderful members of this forum.
I have found the support, validation and encouragement that I receive here, to be so helpful and healing. I hope and trust that will be your experience as a member of the HW family.
Kindly,
Kitt

Hi Hibee,
Would you tell me what CBT is. I'm not really familiar with all the latest abbreviations on the internet. I'm about to turn 50 and still write thank you cards although my son sent me an e-card that was great!

Thanks,
Mess

I'll take the CBT question, since I'm already on...(hope that's ok Ben)
Cognitive Behavioral Therapy is a form of talk therapy (it also involves worksheets and homework so beware, Lol!) that teaches one to change the negative and fearful thinking patterns that affect our feelings and perceptions. It helps to retrain the A/P sufferer to use positive, rational self-talk and thinking, therfore creating a healthy and productive outlook.
You may already be doing a form of this with your current therapy. Ask your therapist what he/she thinks, and whether you could benefit from this. (also, have you looked into EMDR? I've heard that is used to specifically treat PSTD)
S.C.

*p.s. on your next post, consider hitting the 'new topic' button, so that you have your own message, as opposed to tagging on to this one again. That way more members can view and help...sometimes you get lost at the end of a post like this