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New Member Intro - Starfish26 :)

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Anxiety & Panic Disorders
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Posted 5/10/2011 10:43 PM (GMT 0)

Hey all, just joined this site - here is my introduction:

I have never been an anxious person, always full of life and very positive, until a year ago... I was hungover and already feeling ill when I tried boarding a train to go and see my mom for the weekend - it happened quite suddenly, my head was spinning, i couldnt breathe and i thought i was going to have an heart attack, I went back to my flat and just cried. The following week I seemed to get dizzy and start panicking everytime I found myself 'stuck' in a place (like a que in a shop, a line of traffic, and work) I started avoiding places and cancelling on my friends just incase I had a panick attack.

After a month of this I went to see my local GP who gave me Buspirone - at first I saw an improvement, but after a few months things started going downhill again, I felt more anxious than ever. I stopped eatting throughout the day just incase the food made me ill when I was in work, I would take immodium like candy, I would lay the curled up in a ball for days crying, and there was days I couldnt even step out side the door. The tablets just seemed to make me worst - I would get so paranoid about taking them I would often make myself sick. I was getting paranoid about other things aswell. I started to see a hynotherapist around the corner from my house and things started to get back to normal again, until I had a panick attack in his office and then couldnt bring myself to go back. It all all seemed to be a vicious circle 2 weeks I would be a nervous wreck - thinking I was going crazy, and then the following 2 weeks I wouldnt be so bad, but just as I was building my convidence up in going out, it would hit me again (I know now this relates PMS)

about 2 month ago, I decided things had gone on to far - I left my job and flat and moved back in with my mom and I am alot better for it. I still get my bad days where I refuse to leave the house, but on my good days I seem to be getting further and more comfortable with going out further and to different places. I started seeing a CBT therapist last week, and in the last month have read so many books on this subject I feel more equipt to deal with everything that is going on. I have managed to change my eatting habits to a more healthier regular diet but still cant bring myself to eat meat just incase it makes me ill. (Same goes for alcohol).

I have been trying to work on more positive thinking - anyone else finding that one really hard? or got any tips?

Well thats me... sorry thats a bit long! Haha - I have the tendency to ramble alot... sorry in advance :) 

Posted 5/10/2011 11:04 PM (GMT 0)
Hi Starfish, and please don't apologize! It is really nice when new members introduce themselves and give a good background:) That way others members with similar experiences can help out, or at least relate.

It is amazing how one day, experience, panic attack, can change your life course hugh? I always thought that I was an easy-going, laid back person, and I am for the most part, but I learned in therapy that I have had anxious tendencies since childhood. (although I didn't have an official p/a until I was 30 something)

There is hope though! I have a lot of confidence in you, in that you are doing all of the right things to gain recovery. The CBT will be awesome. Give it time though, as it is not a 'quick fix'. It often takes a couple of months for results to start. For me, I even continued to gain momentum with it, after I had completed the courses. Reading up like you have been doing is also great! I read every book I could get my hands on regarding A/P. It is often a personalized combination of things that will work for an individual. Therefore, the more you read/learn, the more information you have to pull ideas/tools from:)

I am glad that you have found us here. I hope that you find it a place of information, support and sharing. Please post anytime!

Take care, and keep up the good work.
Scaredy Cat
Posted 5/11/2011 12:05 AM (GMT 0)
Thanks Scaredy Cat :) I can relate to alot of the other posts on this forum and hope to start posting more soon, it seems like a very good forum :)

It is amazing indeed - that one day everything is fine and you feel you can take on the world and all of a sudden everything is turned upside down! I think the turning point for me was actually admitting I had a problem and facing up to it instead of just trying to live with it and hoping it would go away in time. It does really help when you realise your not alone going through these things and learning to understand all the symptoms - I just convinced myself I was going mad. Thanks for your vote of confidence :) I'll be sure to keep things posted.

Once again thanks, take care
Starfish
Posted 5/11/2011 2:50 PM (GMT 0)
Hi Starfish,

Welcome to HealingWell !  This is a great site. I look forward to getting to know you better.

 

I agree, it is amazing how you can remember your first panic attack and wonder forever why me and what happened ?  My first panic attack was 29 years ago.  I rarely have a panic attack but anxiety and depression are my unwanted friends.

Productive worry is thinking on situations you can control, and you should use productive worry to take actions that reduce stress and relieve anxiety. I try to practice this myself and when I start drifting into the "what if?" territory I work hard at pulling myself back.  My best advice, work on the CBT and kick anxiety to the curb.

You are not alone, there are many of us right here in this forum so consider yourself part of the family here in HW.

Kindly,

Kitt
Posted 5/11/2011 3:22 PM (GMT 0)
Thanks Kitt, your kind words means alot :) Its great to know that there are other people out there and your not battling things all on your own. The 'what if?' territory is all to familiar with me and an on-going battle but this time around I am determinded to beat it. Someone once told me - that only 'brainy' people with really good imaginations get anxiety really bad... I suppose this is the bright side?! I dont know how much truth is in that but it have always made me feel better in a way :)

Im looking forward to getting to know everyone on this forum alot better :)
Hope your well
Starfish :)
Posted 5/11/2011 11:14 PM (GMT 0)
Starfish

I have heard that to about "brainy" people.  Dang I wish I was not so brainy  smhair

So good to have you with us.

Gentle Hugs,

Kitt

Posted 5/11/2011 11:48 PM (GMT 0)
Haha maybe we should all join forces and go on a challenge TV programme, show the world what we are made of and win lotsa money :P
Posted 5/12/2011 12:36 AM (GMT 0)
Sounds like a plan...as long as math or history is not invoved.

My therapist also said that highly intelligent people are prone it anxiety, and I said 'Well there's one for the Good News/Bad News department!'

Yeah, I'm with you Kitt, I think I would be willing to sacrifice a few of my brain cells to be rid of the anxiety...if only you could pick and choose...with my luck I'd lose the really fundamental ones, like a crucial motor skill...and end up walking around in circles all day;p

S.C.
Posted 5/12/2011 3:06 PM (GMT 0)
Hey Starfish

Just read your story and cant believe how similar it sounds to my own!!!

ive not yet been to see anyone about my issues yet, but monday morning is the day!

Its good to hear about your problem and it defo makes me feel less nuts.

Especially identify with the hangover part of it. i cannot move out my bed when im hungover the anxiety is a million times worse!

its good you have a supportive family also, i still live with my parents but they dont have a clue about any of my issues they think im just lazy, i dont go shopping, dont go to the pictures dont do anything basically. Ive managed to take up reading again in the past week which in months gone by was impossible due to lack of concentration even the sound of music still irritates me sometimes.

Positive thinking is hard i do agree. i try i really do, i stare in the mirror and tell myself im fine! but my body and brain send me the signals saying im not. so its very very hard!!

how did you find the hypnotist? ive never thought of that. ide be scared of having a panic attack in that situation also!
Posted 5/12/2011 6:17 PM (GMT 0)
Hey PrincessConswela,

Make sure you go on Monday to see someone, its becomes easier with the support of others. Some people find it hard to see how anxiety effects people lives - they just dont understand, like my dad - he just thinks im being silly when i panick and that i need to grow up.. his words! CBT thearpist is my best advice, as for the hypnotist - there are 2 different types, the first one tries to get to the route of the problem (waste of money in my case!) and the second type is hard to decsribe, he runs through different things you may panick about (i.e going on a train) but he will run through it about a million times, each time you kind of just get a bit more comfortable with the idea your going on a train and nothing is going to happen.

Do you have a trigger for your anxiety?
Posted 5/13/2011 7:05 PM (GMT 0)
Starfish26,

I have only been with this site for several weeks. I would like to "welcome you" to this amazing site. I have been going thru a lot and the people on this site are just plain amazing...they R always there for you with some advice to help you get thru. I wish you all the best and would love to chat sometime: [email protected] I just had an ileostomy 3-days ago and doing very well from it. However, I can totally relate to you about the panic-attacks and having to go out around a lot of people. I have a most difficult time with that. I ilsolated myself for 2-years in my room/bathroom.

You should be so proud of yourself for making those changes in your life and doing what you felt was the best thing for you (moving home)...I'm sure you are going to do so good, and I commend you for facing it all.

Serenitee
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