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New therapist not happy at all

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Posted 5/18/2011 4:37 AM (GMT 0)
Last time I posted it was about my husband not understanding my anxiety and where I could probably get help. So after a few weeks of waiting... I finally had my appointment today with my new therapist which by the way I thought my first visit would give me some hope....not a miracle. But I was so unhappy with her :( I left crying from her appointment it was basically her taking about how I should try to volunteer, walk my neighborhood, goals and giving me high fives every few minutes :( I went in because I can't do these things to begin with I find these things impossible. I feel the pit in my stomach and the knot in my throat getting bigger, hopeless. My husband thinks its just me again being negative, and not trying...There is also a lot of drama between me and sister :( I was thinking of maybe just walking into an ER? (Just to see if they can help me, I am not in danger) has anyone ever done that??? My anxiety and depression levels are too much :(
Posted 5/18/2011 10:29 AM (GMT 0)
Yes, I've walked - or rather tumbled, trembling and terrified into the ER. I also understand how someone who loves you can be a little disconnected from your trauma. My husband loves me but for years had no idea what to do with my depression and anxiety. It's taken many conversations - some calm and logical - some tearful and panic-stricken but he is learning that what I really need when this hits is a quiet calm presence and a willingness to listen to 'the crazy'. He really doesn't need to know how I feel and I need to be ok with the fact that this is not something he can understand. Last night I cried on him about all my current 'death fears' and although I know he feels helpless it felt better just to say it out loud. Men, by nature, want to 'fix it' so that it will go away and they'll have their wife back. Your therapist sounds like someone with no understanding of depression whatsoever which is unfortunate. You said you were looking for hope. What does that mean for you? What does hope look like to you?
Posted 5/18/2011 12:50 PM (GMT 0)
Adries,

Good Morning. You said, "basically her talking about how I should try to volunteer, walk my neighborhood, goals". I think you just met my therapist. I have been seeing the same therapist for over a year now and it always comes to these same suggestions. My goal for last week was go to the senior and check out their activity list. It has also been suggested that I started a book club, volunteer for just about everything and I often come away feeling like she did not get it - when I am feeling extremely depressed and anxious, and my whole world is tipped upside down - I do not want to start a book club. I don't want to be the leader of a group or be on the funeral committe at church. OK, now your husband will think I have a bad attitude too.

I do however feel good about therapy as that is where I can let out my feelings and frustrations and cry. I can say to my therapist what I cannot say to my family. When I leave her office I often feel like I have just dumped alot of garbage and many of the things she has taught me really have help. No guilt is the number one thing I have learned and of course "staying in the moment".

I would give the therapist a second chance but tell her how you felt at your first session. Write it down if you would like to remember what caused you to feel more anxiety in the session.

I wish you peace,
Kitt
Posted 5/19/2011 4:42 PM (GMT 0)
waitingforthelight I honestly don't know what it looks like for me I guess I just wanted to feel a bit better when I walked out of there.... maybe even walked out of there with a prescription... I feel that I need to be on some kind of meds especially when she said I looked distressed.... :( Kitt that is really a good idea on writing a list but I am too nice to say anything that may offend her I guess ill make my husband go in with me the next time and he can tell her how I feel.
Posted 5/20/2011 2:30 PM (GMT 0)
Adries11
I understand your concern re not offending your therapist as it took me a long time before I could tell my therapist how our last session made me feel. You are not trying to offend her but sharing how you felt. I finally learned how to say "after last weeks sessions I left feeling upset" " Her come back is always " tell me about it".

For 50 minutes it is about my anxiety/depression and it is my therapy so I need to talk and not worry about offending as I don't judge her, I just get it out there on the table. If not there is a big elephant in the room and I feel sad to think I leave like I have accomplished no healing.

Be brave and strong and believe in yourself. The world is a better place because you live and serve within it. ((((((((((((Hugs))))))))))))

Kindly,
Kitt
Posted 5/20/2011 3:30 PM (GMT 0)
Maybe you took what she said too literally, meaning, if you are not interested in joining a book club, joining a group or club relating to something that does interest you.  Maybe what she is trying to say is that you should get out and do something that takes your focus off of yourself and your problems.  I know when I sit around and whine about my problems and dwell on them they are so much worse.  Shift your focus, even for a short period of time and see if you get positive results.  I can verify 100% that walking and exercise greatly reduces depression and anxiety.  Therefore reducing the need for meds.

Maybe next time you go, you can ask her to help formulate a plan for you to start small and work your way up.  You have to be willing to do the work to get well.  If you really dislike her, they are a dime a dozen, I am sure you can find another.

Gem

Posted 5/22/2011 6:37 PM (GMT 0)
I'm pretty new to dealing with my anxiety disorder, but one thing I know a bit about is going to therapy. Let me tell you, finding a therapist can be as tough as finding a good friend. It's a lot of trial and error. I did intake sessions at four or five different therapists before settling on one that made me happy.

It's like looking for a new house or apartment. The more you see, the more you know about your options.
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