Please help me! I'm reaching out for anyone!!

I am not sure how to start. You are exactly perfect. God doesn't make mistakes. I could give you the run down on my DX but i will at the end. I know anxiety, I know type a personalities, and more than anything i know the longing of wanting to have control. (Control is a myth) It is nice to think but it is a myth. I have so much i would like to share I am not over anxiety but i understand it now, I recognize my triggers. Ok honey, Put away your blood pressure cuff, and your monitor stuff, it is enabling you. to feed your fear. I too share the breathing scare. I too have two inhalers I have lupus but right now my lungs are ok. My pulmonary dr told me trama from childhood ( I was raped in the military and then at 27 when i was safe and married with my three kids i remembered my child abuse from a step grandpa) the dr said if you had been throu any trauma car accident, could be something simple we can learn to make ourselves feel like we can't breathe.

it is a defense mechanism and is often misdiagnosed as asthma.. i am NOT saying you don't have asthma it is ok and cool to use your inhaler if you need it. but try this. as soon as you feel the Fight or flight like get me the hell out of here... say to your husband or whoever you are with say i am having a moment... and i am trying something new.. if they are supportive you can use them if they want to help ... if this is too stressful don't. because it can be enableing and just adding another problem. where a bracelet or a ring ok.. then say every morning you put this on. when you have a moment. say excuse me... go to a safe spot.. your room or bathroom is where i go somewhere quiet take a timer like those egg timers you can buy anywhere (wal mart) set it at first for 2-3 minutes. I like to cover my face with a hand towel... idk why i think so i can just focus on my brain. I then walk myself through these steps.
1. I am ok...I am having a bit of a racing heart
2. this is normal for me..because i have issues with anxiety
3. I am not alone. God is always with me
4. Nothing bad is going to happen to me in the next few minutes
5 I am going to let myself have a few minutes to cry,
6. ok i am done. I am going to breathe 10 deep breathes in and out (they may be shallow because you are having a panic attack who cares you are ok)
7.hey I am alright Get a warm wash cloth wash your face
8 look in the mirror
9. smile ( name three things out loud that you are thankful for)
10. come out and if you are with your husband or child... say thank you for letting me have my moment. I appreciate your support. I know i am not crazy I just feel that way sometimes.

right there is 3-4 years of counseling. : ) I have a friend on here that has terrible panic attacks worse than mine she also has been through years of therapy. I will write down your name for her as I am new to this and well not computer savvy. I hope this gives you something to work with. Remember you are pregnant and emotions run higher. Don't be so hard on yourself. Buy a cheap journal at the dollar store and write in it every day... it can be simple... 5 things you are grateful for. 5 things that you are concerned about... write down your fears and concerns they are easier to tackle once on paper.

look for joy in your day. even the simplest of things. write it down. even if it seems stupid.
Pain is pain whether it is an Auto immune disease a mental disorder or a stubbed toe. I don't want to get into my whole life here. Know that God has a plan for your life, you may not understand it, i may not understand it but he does. that plan may be just being the best whacked out mom you can be and that is ok. and i mean that in an enduring way. My kids have grown to be teens with a very unhealthy parent. fortunately their dad and i have been together 19 years and he is healthy. it has taught them compassion that most people don't learn until they are older.

Don't make things bigger than they are. I don't know if i should put this on here or not but I don't believe your problems of anxiety are from now. I believe your problems started a long time ago with out you even knowing. You are not crazy. There is a little girl inside you who is frightened and this is how you are trying to protect something. and it could be something very simple. Have you been to therapy? whether it is a psychologist or psychiatrist. I wouldn't think that a medication is your answer at first. but i am not a Dr. You do need to be able to find some peace so you can sleep. I hope i didn't over step any boundaries. I know my panic started when i was safe in my life, then the nightmares and night terrors began, OCD, and well ptsd... I am typically on the lupus page. My thoughts and prayers are with you. I hope the few little things journaling and the 10 step gathering your thoughts help. i will pass your name to my friend who has Crohns but has had suffered a ton with panic disorder and anxiety.

Thinking of you this afternoon. I hope that you are having some peace today. I am not familiar with your meds or past history. I hope my earlier words were helpful and not overwhelming.

please remember there is always Hope and it is closer than you think.

Panther Fern

Raynebow, this is the first time I'm posting on the Anxiety forum, I'm usually in fibro but wondering how much of my symptoms are from anxiety, that's a whole different thread.  It's been hard to admit and slowing accepting that this is me, I don't know why I am having a hard time admitting this..........your post remind me of me.

Anyway, I agree put all medical stuff away, I was doing the same thing you are now, it made it worse.  Yes there is physical symptoms but do not google them because from my experience I would read some disorder guess what then I couldn't sallow, blurry vision etc.......I realizing now strong the mind is and how it can play tricks on ya.......((hugs))

I to have a racing heart some from anxiety (alot) and I do have a form of Tachycardia.  I can tell the difference.  I also have asthma too, your inhaler will increase your heart rate and make you more nervous.  I only take mine when it's necessary, when I have a cold/allergies, when I am wheezing and you can hear it/feel it.  First thing I do though is to take deep breathes.

 

I started to see a counselor, she is christian and I agree with the others, that is a need.   The short time I've seen her, I realized when I wake up trembling, is from previous trauma.......anxiety can hit any time.  I do have healing verses I am learning to repeat, I will be more than happy to email them to you.   

please raynebow if they find "nothing" it doesn't mean that you do not have real pain. Anxiety is real. When you are in a safe place in your life is when your mind is finally able to deal with your past. My family dr told me that. when i started having night terrors and panic in middle of the night for apparently no reason... but there was a reason. God made us to be able to compartmentalize to survive. and you have!!!! : )

Its ok to admit that you are in fear from your anxiety. put triggers on a piece of paper. and slowly face them. for me certain scents, or things out of order, silly things... could cause me not to breathe.. well i was breathing just not properly. so slowly i learned to put my toothbrush in the spot that drove me crazy...i faced my little things slowly, went places that i knew would put me over the edge... only for a second or two but to feel empowered.

scripture. I made a first aide kit i called it. I took 10 to 12 vs of scripture and typed them and printed, these were special to me. They were ones that told me i was not alone, or that nothing could separate me from the love of God, or Cast my anxiety upon the lord. i cut and laminated them. I mostly wear jeans everyday i would put up to five in my pockets. When i started to feel anxiety i would pull out my first aide kit. I would read the card sometimes sobbing so hard that i couldn't see , i felt nuts... but i would read it until His grace comforted me through His promise wrote on that card in front of my weary face. I still from time to time use first aide. before surgery, big events, and loneliness.

Pain of any kind is an unusual evil. At times it is comfortable because you are so use to it. and You and the other writer are use to your anxiety so it is hard to let it go. Chronic illness is a circle that draws you in because there is no out. I live with many Chronic illnesses... I can only say now that i live with them... I no longer try to control, or cure them I do not have that power, i have so seriously been humbled. The key is to learn to live with the anxiety to understand it, 1. own it. 2. why do you have it 3. get the tools to function with it 4. you will have bad moments, get up dust off and try again. 5. not all tools are meds, they can help but for me some of them caused more issues than help. You may have to try many therapist to find the one who gets you. I learned Biofeedback, breathing techniques and how to plan projects in my head to calm me.

I do not do well on any benzodiazapines. paxil didn't like me. i do take klonapin to sleep. I found taking an antidepressant with all i have going on was best for me.

Love and God bless you and the other writer who is struggling. My thoughts and prayers are with you. ps
my daughter has aspergers and a friend of ours one time told her that if someone in her life caused her more mental stress than wellness it was ok for her to fire that person from her life. not in a mean way but in a sense that if there is strife you own your mind and body and soul and you have the right to fire what ailes you.
Those words were freeing to her. Knowing that she didn't have to be mean or evil but that she could put adversity out of her life. It gave her permission. and she really benefited from that knowledge. I personally never knew i was allowed to not fight the adversity. that is was fine to let go. and it was my right as a human. fern

thank you for your kind words . I try to remember that everybody has something. lol that doesn't necessarily mean a disease but something. Anxiety is not what i know best chronic pain is. but with that comes anxiety and to me that is painful. Are we allowed to exchange emails i saw a spot with rules, i am new to this whole thing ... i can't find them now of course that i am looking for them.. You can lead a very very normal life... you just have to learn how in baby steps! Find a good counselor whether it is a shrink or psychologist i have been to both for different things. (ptsd) meds can be very helpful but for me learning the tools to handle my triggers were so much more important. I actually learned the most at the Mary Free Bed clinic in Grand Rapids michigan i went there to help with chronic pain and actually found it helped more with chronic anxiety. lol

I will be checking on you. If you need to chat sometime or leave a message I check the lupus one the most. I am struggling right now with some unhappy liver issues due to meds i am sure, but the meds kill the white blood cells that may kill my immune system but that is what keeps attacking me.. Nevertheless, I had a short review of a bible study today about joy. becuz i thought i needed a review. and it said to be thankful for the challenges that we have and we must be pretty important if someone wants to mess with us.... no matter what we have going on in our lives no one can take the joy from our souls, you get that from promises. it doesn't mean you have to feel good or jump around, it just means that at the end of a day we can still count our blessings even in our physical misery because we have the free will to have joy in our souls. No one can take that away. it takes time to build it, and sometimes we may be distracted, but true joy is a contentment that can settle any anxiety, I can't really explain it ... without getting into deep doctrines. but the basic principle is Joy is not an emotion, it is a cognitive process learned through strength of the Word of God. Some may explain it more like being content, but it is so much more.

I am not trying to bible thump on your brain. I know for me I found some solid bible teaching 19 years ago when i began having a multitude of symptoms and seriously thought i was insane. I didn't get a true diagnosis for almost 12 years or so after in blood work. though my family dr. suspected auto immune. So, If you have a totally different religion or a source that gives you a foundation that is immutable than by all means... rock on. As our conversations go... i will be less likely to put my beliefs in such detail as i believe it is a personal relationship between one person and God. I will however use quotes and scripture and silly pictures...lol

keep a journal... i know this is frightening as hell... but forgive your past. you don't have to love or like them but forgive them ... let eternity handle that... if that person is still in your life.... Fire them. you have the right to nicely say you cause my life more hurt than happiness... i need to move on. I forgive you ... but i don't want you in my life or my families.

A good friend of ours gave my daughter that advice .. she has mild aspergers. He said if someone causes you more adversity than happiness, it is your right to fire them. you don't have to be mean or angry. Life liberty and the pursuit of happiness. It empowered her to know she didn't have t be bullied. I never thought and i am 40 that you could actually walk away from someone who was unhealthy for you, but it was simple yet profound.

With healthy healing thoughts, may tomorrow have more joy than pain... fern... (write 5 things that made you smile today or something you are looking forward to) and write something in your journal that you need to let go of and when you are ready maybe even with your husband put a line through it. if you revisit it... don't be hard on yourself, say oh i've forgiven that i have let it go. I will no longer let it control my thoughts. and eventually... it won't

I really hate that you are feeling this way. I have never posted anything on one of these forums but your story made me think of some of my feelings in the past. I had most of the symptoms you are going through in the past. I have one suggestion for you that really helped me. There is a book written by Claire Weeks named Health and healing for the nerves. I believe she was the authority on anxiety type disorders. I have rid myself from the majority of my symptoms from reading this book and listening to her book cd. The cd is actually the book with her narrating it. It is very soothing to listen to her. Give it a try. I hope it will help you as much as it did me. Hang in there.

 

Rayne- Youve gotten some fantastic advice Struggled w/ A/P well ovr 10 yrs, med probs, etc. Meds help me. When u have ur sweet baby maybe they can eval u 4 some? Most helpful 4 me 4 full blown P/A is 60mg buspar, 2 bear n mind 4 future. Now, PLZ do those things above suggested. Get alone, SLOW,regulate breathing, put head down, close eyes. Remind urself ths is just the anxiety passing thru, it will b ovr n a few mins, that nothing bad is happening @ ths exact moment, u r ok, u r ok. Recite anything ovr n ovr 2 occupy ur mind & make it stop reeling whether prayer- evn just Father help me, Deliver me, or just words 2 a song, go outside 4 deep fresh air, move. Try anything 2 occupy ur mind. U r in my thoughts n prayers!

Grady, and anyone who feels helpless against their health anxiety. Please be encouraged by the fact that this disorder is very treatable! I went through CBT, and it has changed my life!

I still need to manage my anxiety, and some breakthrough health worries do try to get the best of me sometimes, but I am not suffering daily panic attacks, and am able to handle the worries and not be fearful 24/7. In other words, in treatment I learned how to manage my anxiety, and gained control of my life again:)

It is possible, attainable and not difficult! (although it does take time 10-12 weeks+ for results to start)

I encourage you to find a therapist who offers CBT, and give you and your family the greatest gift ever:)

Peace and wellness,
S.C.

Hi Raynbow I'M SO SORRY TO HEAR WHAT YOU ARE GOING THRU-----It reminded me of what I went thru a few years agoI too have asthma was dx 15yrs ago but a few years ago my inhalers were not working very well when I was having a panic attack It was horrible .I too went to the er.and was also treated like I was nuts. finally I saw my dr. she put me on Advair.This has helped me so much.