New Here, having a bad attack

Hello all, fellow anxiety sufferers :)

I was looking for a supportive forum where I can find others who are sufferring the same symptoms.. I find that my friends and loved ones who have never had a panic attack cannot really understand what it feels like. Bless them they want to help but I feel bad seeing them feel helpless to help.

I have had anxiety issues most of my life, when I was younger it was exams, then postpartum anxiety, then anxiety over my children getting sick and then this week I have had the worst panic attack of my life. I am in day 3 of one huge long panic attack that does not end. I am a single mom and live alone with my kids ( I am currently visiting family overseas) and am so afraid that I wont be able to get my self together in time to take care of them and go back home.
A short history:

3 years ago i went through a very emotionally sad divorce but have moved on emotionally and have a good friendship with my ex now. The only lasting effect seems to be a debilitating fear of rejection or pain. That and I am very very harsh on myself and can feel guilty over anything I do that may be perceived as wrong. Well already I am rambling!

Last year I had another anxiety episode that was milder than this and lasted a month and was started at te hands of another rejection by a man. (He was pursuing me and I found out he actually had a girlfriend and went back to her immediatley)

This week it started because an ex-boyfriend of a very close friend of mine (one for whom she still has feelings but cannot be with) was flirting with me intensly and I tried to deflect but did find myself responding to his attention in spite of my self. ( I have not seen him, this is all online chat) I immediatley had a huge panic attack and told him to stop contacting me and that this was not morally right, so he has apologised and said he meant no harm at all, it was just fun banter and he was sorry. I then calmed down and was feeling wonderful again, went away with my mom all was well. He contacts me again and just tries to carry on a very polite normal friendship and since I am feeling better I think ok I can do this, just friends. SO I chat with him, all very prim and proper, go to sleep and then wake up the next day with the most debilitating panic attack ever. this is three days ago and I am not getting better!
I think I feel guilt and disgust with myself. I cant seem to talk myself down from this.
I know I have gone on and on :) and as you can guess I do this all day in my head and drive myself insane.
I dont know what I should do to feel better but I need to get it together quick.
My doctor prescribed xanaz but it does not help with the panic attacks at all, it just makes me groggy. So today he says to start cepralex (SSRI).

Any input or suggestions would be greatly appreciated and if you are still reading this long ramble, well, Thank you :)

Thank you, I think I will need some therapy for sure. I will look up the resources you mentioned, Thanks

Thank you Shannon. Its nice to know that everyone here can understand. I fiind mornings the worst. I wake up feeling paniced and awful, somehow the nite is a little better. I am praying my meds kick in soon. this is hell.

Yes I keep thinking holy cow I am going to have to deal with this all day! I wonder has anyone had any success with Lexapro (Cepralex)? This is what I am starting today and just wonder if anyone has taken it before.

I am grateful for this site, you are all very sweet and supportive