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Do you get anxious when you are hurt emotionally?

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Posted 8/21/2011 12:18 PM (GMT 0)
I know it sounds so wierd... but I get terrible anxiety when I get my feelings hurt. Its almost like the feeling of pain makes me panic. I went through a couple of very hurtful experiences and a divorce in the last 3 years and I think I will never be relationship material again. The minute I start to like someone I worry that I will get hurt, and inevitably I do, and then BAM, the panic and anxiety set in. I have not slept well in the past week.

I cant stand myself.
Posted 8/21/2011 1:00 PM (GMT 0)
Hello Bubbles,
What you describe is actually the classic pattern for people that struggle with anxiety. This is why I advise people that struggle to journal everyday. Just in your short post I see two things that stand out...

" I think I will never be relationship material again" and "..." The minute I start to like someone I worry that I will get hurt"

Recovering from P/A requires that you change your thoughts and behavior. You have preset triggers in place to kick off anxiety. In order to make theses changes, you yourself have to recognize the negative thoughts and since we tend to be so proficient at thinking negative and not even realizing how much and how often we do it...it works well to write down each time we have a negative thought and then look for ways to turn that statement into a positive one. That is just the first baby step into the road to recovery, but yet the thought pattern change is key to changing the root of the problem.....Good luck and best wishes....Benny
Posted 8/21/2011 1:30 PM (GMT 0)
Thank you Benny, You are right of course.. I just dont know how to change these thoughts into positive ones.. I have a tendancy to self bash and shame and guilt , you name it. I need some therapy I guess.

Thank you for your genorosity of spirit :)
Posted 8/21/2011 2:28 PM (GMT 0)
You know bubbles, I struggled the most when I just didn't have the knowledge of what to do or how to do it. I'm sure in many cases it's not that people don't want to change so that they can improve....it's just that they are not sure how or what to do. So yes, if you think it would be difficult on your own, therapy might be just the ticket. Maybe even some literature or online things dealing with CBT.

At least know that there is light at the end of the tunnel if you put the effort in....the speed at which we get through that tunnel maybe different from person to person...but the fact that we can gain back control and get back to experiencing life is a great comfort. There is so much bad going on in this world, but it can only overshadow the good if we choose to let it and make no mistake....it is our choice and it is about our attitude.


You see these horrible natural disasters so often now, but what's cool is the one's that say this can't beat me and I will rebuild my life and these maybe people that don't even have a place to call home anymore, but they refuse to curl up and do nothing. I will tell you that when you find the key that works and you will if you try hard enough...you will be a stronger person on the other side than you ever dreamed you could be.
Good luck and best wishes......Benny
Posted 8/21/2011 4:10 PM (GMT 0)
Yes bubbles,

It is a trigger for me as well. On thinking about it, I don't cry, if I am hurt, I feel like crying but won't allow it. (If I start, I am afraid I won't stop, so I don't allow it in the first place). So with the risk of 'breaking down', this will cause me anxiety. (I don't know how normal it is for others, but for me, yes, the two go hand and hand). If someone I care about has hurt me, they would have to have hurt the core of me, and that is a special place that not many get to see, so that hurt runs deep and brings with it intense feelings.

Your not alone on this one
Posted 8/22/2011 3:36 AM (GMT 0)
Yes awty, I also feel the hurts run so deep and intense also. I always envy people who seem so easy going... and sure of themselves.

It is hard.
Posted 8/22/2011 4:49 AM (GMT 0)
Hi Bubbles,

Hey Sweetie, I'm sorry your struggling currently. I'm sending you Hugz N Smiles your way. Do you see a Psych Dr., Therapist, or Counselor? Or have you ever? Do you currently take meds for anxiety or anything to help you sleep?

I know what you mean by taking things so emotionally personal. I take things so personally & dwell on them for too long. Sometimes I can't quit thinking of my past. My Psych Dr. said to be realistic & put things in the moment. Realize that the past is in the past and why dwell on things that don't relate to today. Easier said than done.

I would suggest seeing someone if your not currently. Just being able to talk about things can be a huge help.
Hang in there..

Your Healingwell Friend,
Serenitee

Bipolar 2, Borderline (BPD), Anxiety-Panic Disorder, Ptsd
Loop ileostomy May 2011, Pelvic & Bladder Trauma & Dysfunction, Colon tore thru vaginal wall & colon + bladder fell out of body thru vagina. 2-Rectoceles, 2-Bladder Lifts, Vaginal Vault Lift...A total of 15-surgeries from different things. A lot of abdominal.
Posted 8/23/2011 1:20 AM (GMT 0)
Thank you Serenitee,

I am working on it, I realise I do need help...
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