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Posted 9/26/2011 1:58 PM (GMT 0)
Hello everyone!

I've been a member of HealingWell for a while although I've always been on the Prostate Cancer forum learning about information for a family member who has cancer. Anyhow.... I wandered over here because my anxiety seems to be at it's peak lately.

Here's a little background:

25 y/o -- anxiety since middle school... always took SSRIs & SNRIs (Prozac, Zoloft, Cymbalta, Pristiq, Wellbutrin, Effexor... just to name a few). They helped until my uncle (non related by blood) killed himself 5 years ago. I helped my family through the coping process and I didn't realize how much of an impact it made on me. At the time I was taking Wellbutrin and Seroquel. I went off of it in 2007 and everything took a dramatic turn. Bad withdrawls, night terrors, etc... after that none of the medications would work the same.

All the bad side effects you read... I had them... I couldn't take all the racing thoughts so I just stopped taking medication all together. I've always felt like the medications make me feel like I could lose control (rather than just worrying how a person gets to that point -- if that makes any sense)?

Anyhow, after discontinuing my meds I did fine until I after the birth of my son --- then I went through Post Partum Depression. I went back on mood stabilizers and Pristiq... which helped but I was only 75% back to my normal self... then I got Steven Johnson's Syndrome from the Trileptal (mood stabilizer). It darn neared killed me.... 6 weeks of steroids and I refused to take any medication for fear of another reaction. That was the best year of my life... no medication. I felt great!!!

However, about a year ago the anxiety started creeping back up. My best friend went through a similiar experience with anxiety as I did 5 years early. She was hospitalized and after seeing her in the hospital and watching her suffer with anxiety/depression it brought back all of the memories of when I went through it. I haven't been able to get back on that worry free train since.

My biggest fear is being alone. I'm afraid to stay by myself because of what happened to my uncle. I know his cirumstances were so different (in trouble with the law, havnig an affair) but my anxiety doesn't care about that. I'm consantly avoiding situations for fear of a panic attack or fear I'll have racing thoughts while I'm by myself.

My panic attacks aren't normal either. I feel calm I just feel dizzy and sick to my stomach.

I recently tried going on BuSpar but it threw me into a depression. Now I'm just taking Vitamin D, Omega 3 Fish Oils and Deplin (a medical food that is Folic Acid).

I'm just tired of being worried all the time... I sleep fine but during the day my mind doesn't shut off. Lack of sleep probably doesn't help plus the steroids I took a couple years back for the allergic reaction caused me to gain 60 lbs.

It's so much work being worried all the time... anyone else here like me or am I the only one going through this?

 

Posted 9/26/2011 2:23 PM (GMT 0)
No, you are not the only one going through this, you have plenty of company here:) We all suffer from the same thing...little differences here and there, and varying stories, but it is all the same disorder...anxiety.

May I ask if you have any experience with therapy? In my opinion, it is the most effective and long term solution in battling A/P...either with/without medication in combination treatment.

Since you have found a nice combination of meds and natural remedies that are working for now...stick with those, but for the breakthrough, and for the long-term anxiety, why not look into therapy?

It has helped so many of us here, myself included:) You can probably get a good referral from you dr.

I hope that you find the information and support that you seek here. We are glad that you found us and look forward to getting to know you better:)

Take care,
Scaredy Cat

p.s. oops, just re-read your post, and you are not on meds ATM...so now might be a good time to try therapy if you choose, or ask your dr. about both a new med and therapy-specifically CBT.  Good luck:)

Posted 9/26/2011 2:50 PM (GMT 0)
Hi

Nice to meet you and good to see you posting in our anxiety forum this is a really friendly place were you can come and speak with others who can relate to what you are going through.

As SC said you are not alone on this and your right anxiety is very tiring and a real bummer to deal with. Therapy does work well such as CBT and a lot of the members here have had good success myself included. Keep posting and let us know how you are getting on we are here to support you.

Hibee
Posted 9/26/2011 4:40 PM (GMT 0)
Hi there,

Thanks for the warm welcome. To answer the question about therapy - yes I am in therapy. Once weekly. I have been seeing my current counselor for over a year and a half. The last one actually helped me develop NEW phobias (something I never thought was possible) LOL.

I know I have come a long ways with my anxiety...when I think back to what I was like taking medication I know I am much farther along. I'm sure it has something to do with settling down and starting a family and giving up drinking. However, I find when I am bored or when I'm too busy my anxiety is much worse.

Hopefully the support found on this site will help all of us to make further progress with our treatment.

As far as the medications go, I recently stopped the BuSpar after a couple of weeks due to the depression it caused. Last year I tried some Wellbutrin and Zoloft. They bring on more anxiety and add depression to the mixture.

Anyhow, I just recently started the Omega 3's, Vitamin D and Deplin (Folic Acid).

Deplin is supposed to be a God's send if you are currently on an antidepressant (it makes it work better).

I haven't been able to tell if it's helped or not, but it's only been 3 days.

 

Posted 9/27/2011 5:14 PM (GMT 0)
C4U, I am sorry that your first experience with therapy was not a good one. However, I must say that you rock for going back and giving it another try! That really shows perseverance, and a commitment to getting better:)

Keep up the good work, and keep posting...like you said it does help us to progress when we have people who understand supporting us along the way!

Talk to you soon,
S.C.
Posted 10/2/2011 6:38 PM (GMT 0)
Hey C4U. Just read your post and wanted to say hello and welcome you to the site. Rest assured, you're not alone. I completely get your experience as to the counselor that added to your phobias. :) I think I probably should have traded places with more than a few of mine... think they may have had more issues than me! Or at the very least, they should have been in couseling rather than giving it. Oh well!

You've come to a good place as you can probably tell by the members that have responded to you. Look forward to your future posts or seeing you in the chat.

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