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Anxiety & Panic Disorders
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Posted 10/7/2011 9:32 PM (GMT 0)
My name is Carol. I am 19.

I feel like i am dreaming. Nothing feels real. I suffer from gad, ocd, and major depression. I have been feeling likei am in a dream for the past 2 months. I am so scared that i am losing my mind or that one day i am going to snap and go crazy. I am also scared that i won't know what feeling better feels like or when i start thinking i am feeling better i'm actually going insane because insane people don't know that they are that way. My memory is horrible. Time goes by so fast. Things that happened an hour ago feel like they happened 5 hours ago.I am constantly thinking that i am not really here and that nothing is ever going to be normal again. When i look in the mirror i don't recognize myself. I also have been feeling empty. I know i love my family and my boyfriend but it's hard to feel that love. I cry a lot. Everything thing seems fuzzy and confusing. I take zoloft, seroquel xr, and klonopin. I have been on those meds for a little over a month. Before that i was on lexapro. My doctors try to tell me that i am here and that i am not losing my mind it is just hard to believe them. Does anyone understand what i am going through?

 

Posted 10/8/2011 2:08 AM (GMT 0)
Hi Carol,

I know exactly what you are going through and am very sorry that you are suffering. Please know that you're doctors are right: you are not losing your mind. However, it is a normal thought when suffering from the symptoms of anxiety, depression, etc. You do not feel as though you are in complete control of your own faculties and nothing seems real. With issues such as we deal with (I am dealing with anxiety/panic disorder, agoraphobia, depression and social anxiety), it is easier to see things as bleak and become easily overwhelmed. I am currently going through a rather difficult patch myself, but I know I will eventually come through it.

Take things one day at a time and arm yourself with as much information (not necessarily from the Internet) as you can, learn about relaxation techniques, deep breathing and CBT.

You are taking some very powerful medications that can sometimes enhance the feeling of disconnection from others. It can take a while to find the perfect balance of medication, therapy and self-care, but it can be done. Stick around and I am sure many other members of the forum will understand what you are going through and have wonderful ideas that can help get you on the road to health.

Best of luck,

DarkWolf
Posted 10/9/2011 4:12 AM (GMT 0)
Hi Carol:) How are you feeling today? Better I hope. DW has advised you well...I just wanted to offer my support too, and encourage you to keep up the fight.

What you have described is a common anxiety complaint, and is called depersonalization/derealization. It can come and go, but as you progress, further in your treatment, it should improve. I find that breathing/relaxation exercises help to relieve it.

Let us know how you are doing soon, and post antime:)

S.C.
Posted 10/9/2011 4:48 PM (GMT 0)
I am so scared. it feels like my life is over. I feel so stuck. I don't know what to do. I am scared that i have already lost my mind. I have myself convinced that i am never going to get better. How do you come out of something like this?
Posted 10/9/2011 8:03 PM (GMT 0)
I wake up every morning with a panic attack. My heart races yet I feel extremely depressed. I feel like I'm losing my mind and don't want to live. My dr. has me on Klnopin which hasn't helped much. But what I do is MAKE myself get out of bed. I open all the curtains and sit on the couch and make myself do at least ONE thing normal,like taking a shower or reading a book. I do breathing exercises. Slowly,I come out of it and then I make myself really busy cleaning house,drawing or take a walk.....anything normal. Let the light INTO the house. Do not pull the shades. I have to put a show on for my husband sometimes. I sometimes have to go into another room and do deep breathing exercises because he gets very depressed when I have anxiety attacks.
I am going though MAJOR stress in my life and don't get much emotional support from my husband.
You have to make yourself LIVE LIFE. Get out of the house,feel the wind on your face and know it takes day by day and that life WILL get better.
I have had this condition since our son became extremelely ill then my husband lost his job. He suffers from major depression and I sometimes have to go in and MAKE him get out of bed and sit on the couch. Sometimes,he just sits there and stares but I won't let him lay in bed. I busy myself and stop him when he tries to go back to bed. One time,he slept three days straight and only got up because he heard me dialing the doctor. I know all of this is because we have had a very hard life.
But I REFUSE to give up. Truly,I always feel God by my side. He has given us miracles in the past and he will us more in the future.
I get through it by tellling myself I have HIM and by knowing things WILL get better somehow. NEVER let yourself lay in bed or on the couch,especially with the drapes closed. NEVER be in a dark room just sitting in a a chair. NEVER let it take over your life.
Posted 10/9/2011 8:31 PM (GMT 0)
To Carol:

Have you looked into getting in therapy for your anxiety? It sounds like you are feeling helpless and immobilized:( There is treatment available for this though, even if you think there is no hope of recovering!

Many people who have been where you are have learned the coping mechanisms needed to pull out of the grip that anxiety has on them. Consider asking your dr. for a therapy referral, and work toward gaining back your sense of self and normalcy!:)

To JanieK:

Hi and welcome. It sounds like you have both been through, and conquered many challenging times in your life. Great job on working through the issues, and pressing on even in spite of obstacles.

I hope that you can continue to do so, and hope that you will contiue to post here with us!

This is a great place for information, understanding and support.

Take care,
S.C.
Posted 10/9/2011 11:10 PM (GMT 0)
I just need to know that i WILL get better. I am in therapy right now.
Posted 10/10/2011 1:29 AM (GMT 0)
You will. It takes time...and at times during your treatment, it will be one step forward, and two back, but you will reach a point where it starts to 'click'

I actually felt the same way, it was hard to believe that the therapy was actually going to work, but I kept at it and it did. A lot of the stuff that I learned didn't start to sink in until after my sessions had ended! But it did, and it works long-term! Hang in there:)

I found that reading self-help anxiety books really helped me as well, (and possibly sped up the process) consider going to the library and checking some out.

We will be here for your support as you go through it. Post anytime that you need encouragement, and we will try to help.
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