HealingWell
Search Close Search
☰

Jobs/Where do u work?

Support Forums
>
Anxiety & Panic Disorders
✚ New Topic ✚ Reply
❬ ❬ Previous Thread |Next Thread ❭ ❭
Posted 11/4/2011 9:09 PM (GMT 0)
I've been so scared and so nervous about losing my job lately it's not even funny.  I seem to perform pretty well if you were to ask my managers....but I feel like I'm just a mess.  Constantly on edge, lost, confused, but I guess I do a good job of hdiing all of this because they seem to feel like I'm doing a good job.  But I'm not happy, not at all.  It's so stressful and so much pressure is put on me to perfect and make zero mistakes and be on point ALL THE TIME.  I worry enough about things, I feel like tihs is just a bad fit.  I've been working at this job for about a year now and I'm really begin to think that now at 26 years old I should try and  find a career path and I don't know if this is it.

Do you guys think it's smart to cater your career around your anxiety?  For example, a big problem of mine always has been social anxiety and at my job now it's ALL SOCIAL and very little physical or hands on work.  It's all talking and socializing and everything, which has always in the past brought me tremendous stress.  I'm not good at that, maybe it's a guy thing, or a guy with anxiety thing...but talking is not my strong suit.  I've always been better at doing.

I was just looking to see if anyone here who suffers from anxiety as bad as I do, or just suffers in general....where do you guys work?  Are you able to deal with and succeed in highly stressful/competitive jobs?  Do you find a more relaxed job easier?  Are there even such things as relaxed jobs?  lol

Starting to think that it's just me that brings this all on myeslf and that I'll pretty much just be stressed out and anxious no matter what kind of career i decide to take up.  But I don't know why, I feel ilke the urgency and the time is getting cloesr and closer for me to choose a career.  I am 26 and will be 27 next summer.  I need to figure out exactly what the heck I'm going to do witht he rest of my life career wise and get started on that NOW.  This anxiety and indecision is clouding my head though.  In the past week I've already changed my mind from giong back to school for computers, to going for accounting, for going for business, for applying for a financial consulting job, to thinking of quitting my job altogether and trying to find a decent paying union/blue collar type work.  That's what I used to do for 3 years and managed my anxiety decent working in my family business.  So maybe I'm more cut out for that?  Could use some advice or criticism or whatever if anyone has some to add here.  I'm really just kind of lost and don't know where to go.

I'm personally leaning towards leaving my current job and finding something that is more suited to what I can handle at the moment....but I feel like that's giving up and taking a step backwards.  What do you guys think?  I really don't want to look back on any decisions I make and regret them, that's why I'm trying to stick out these 2 college classes although they're driving me insane with anxiety.

Posted 11/4/2011 9:47 PM (GMT 0)
Mike,

I am so sorry you are going in circles and I truly believe you need to get a handle on your anxiety as everyday you sound like you are about to blow apart at the seams.

As I read your posts I see a flight of ideas which causes me concern and prompts me to post this to you today.  Please seek out the help of a Psychiatrist,  I see one and she has helped me tremendously.

People who suffer with the distressing symptoms of anxiety often experience rumination, or recurrent worry and thought spinning. This can greatly impact sleep and daily living. The negative cyclical thinking tends to have a spiraling effect - where the person ends up at the worst possible scenario - "Something bad will happen to me."  There is often absolutely no evidence to support the beliefs yet the emotional reactivity they stir up makes them feel very real to the person thinking them!

I am wondering if you have access to group therapy in your area.  This may be a idea for you.

Kindly,

Kitt


 

Posted 11/5/2011 3:58 AM (GMT 0)
If you are good at what you do, and are getting ahead in your career choice, I would seriously weigh the pros and cons of quitting.

This can be a slippery slope into letting the anxiety win:( My suggestion would be to continue in your treatment, and try to push through this difficult time so that you have no regrets when you achieve some recovery strides...and you will achieve them, it just takes time.

I have a completely performance oriented job. I am a children's/youth dance teacher. I have a studio where I am always able to be observed, as the parent's lounge has windows looking in on us. I have to also put on two major recitals a year...one with up to 400+ people in attendance at a time. At the high point of my anxiety, I was also questioning my abililty to continue to do this.

It's not as if I suddenly got 'stage fright', but I felt so overwhelmed in general that I was left feeling so fragile and exposed at all times. The last thing that I could tolerate was more pressure to perform.

I had to force myself to push through the awful feelings that I was experencing at the time, and I am glad that I did. I would have regretted it if I had stopped working.

I still have the occasional symptoms at work, but I have lived through it so many times now, that I know that they will pass and I will get through it. I think it helps that I completely love what I do (most days!) so that should be something that you factor in when making your decision...do you enjoy your job? That is a big deciding factor right?

I hope that this helps, and that you are comfortable with what you decide. Keep working toward your healing goals, they are going to happen if you do:)

S.C.
Posted 11/5/2011 4:10 AM (GMT 0)
I work as a retail lead (lower management). This is, of course, a VERY social job. I have found it to be beneficial, though.

I've been dealing with anxiety and depression since I was 12 (now about to turn 24). I never developed good social skills, and was always pretty awkward. Working in retail for nearly a year now (graduated college last December), I find that my social skills have dramatically improved...even though, like you, I am miserable in my position.

Try to find points in your job that you like, and emphasize them. I love many of the employees at my store, so I try to chit-chat with them from time to time to lift my spirits when the pressure is too much. I find socializing with the other managers very difficult, but with the non-managerial associates, it can be rewarding. Forcing myself to smile and be social does help.

If you can't see yourself being in a very social job, and you don't see yourself getting promoted to a less sociable position, then maybe you should start thinking about a career change and finding something you enjoy. Like SC^ said, if you enjoy your job, it makes the anxiety more bearable. But I don't think it is necessarily letting the anxiety win. Some people do even better in jobs where they are not constantly on display. It is really up to what you want to do with your life. If you're good at something, but you hate it, there's no point in forcing yourself to do it. But if you're good, and you enjoy most aspects of it, then you need to keep fighting your anxiety so you can get ahead.
Posted 11/5/2011 4:35 AM (GMT 0)
Good points Alaskah!:)

Mike you have a few great view points here...but ultimately it is up to you to decide.

Good luck!

S.C.
Posted 11/5/2011 4:49 AM (GMT 0)
I also want to throw in a quote that I posted on another thread that I love: "The way to overcome shyness is to become to wrapped up in something, that you forget to be afraid." You can replace "shyness" with depression, or anxiety, or any other number of things. If you enjoy what you do, or find it reasonably challenging and rewarding, you will find that you notice all of the negativity less and less. You just have to find that opportunity in your life to get wrapped up in.
Posted 11/5/2011 4:58 AM (GMT 0)
whatever you do- make sure you think it through and dont make a rash decision. life is going to be stressful no matter what you're doing...come on- even the fry guy at McD's gets yelled out every now and then- haha...seriously though a bit of stress isn't a bad thing- just manage it and you'll be ok- if you need help with that then seek it out. my job is pretty darn stressful- it affects me physically at times with my crohn's disease and sometimes i wish i could have the life of my boarder collies, but then i think i'd get really sick of dog food.
Posted 11/5/2011 11:15 PM (GMT 0)
I work in Google in their maps department. It's long days with high levels of concentration.

I deal with anxiety in the workplace by locking myself in a bathroom cubicle and curling up on the toilet seat (lid down :) ) with my knees under my chin.
Posted 11/6/2011 1:13 PM (GMT 0)
Do you like what you're doing? I don't think you should cater your career to your anxiety, but I do think you should try to steer towards something you enjoy if possible. If you are uncomfortable with certain aspects of it you can work through it. If you flat out don't enjoy it, try to find something else before you get pigeon holed into a particular path.  I used to work in a job that had high sales quota expectations. This caused me anxiety and I didn't enjoy having the pressure on me. I enjoy interacting with people and helping them with their business needs, but I did not enjoy pushing sales on people just to make my sales quota. I am going to steer clear of that type of sales job in the future. I have been a sahm for several years, but I just got a pt job working as an office manager for the highway dept in my town. No sales quotas, flexibility and low key. Low pay too, so this will not be my forever job, but it's a great transitioning job while my kids are still in school. Good luck with whatever you decide!
Posted 11/6/2011 2:47 PM (GMT 0)
I drive a school bus.....YES! A SCHOOL BUS! Talk about stressful jobs! Hehe! I actually love my job though, but there are days when I'm feeling quite anxious. I always have the thought in the back of my mind that I am responsible for other peoples children, and getting them to and from school safely. That's a big load for me to bear! It is not a physically stressful job, but it's mentally exhausting sometimes.
Posted 11/6/2011 4:06 PM (GMT 0)
I guess I shouldn't really blame it on my job.  I just feel lost/confused/out of it A LOT.  It happens at work, at home, with friends, in school, everywhere.  It's pretty annoying having this darn feeling, being indecisive and just flat out feeling like I'm stuck in this thought process/unreal feeling.  I try to find something to pin it on all the time because I refuse to admit that it's me.  I really deep down don't want it to be, I want it to be something as simple as a job switch or stopping school or something ilke that.  But I don't know, I think I'm just still going to have these issues because I have the same feelings of nervuosness/irritability/depersonalization even in my personal life aside from work.

I just blame it on work because of this theory that runs in my head.  When I worked my fathers company I felt a sense of pride, that I belonged, that I was part of something that was going good.  I would wake up and be ready to work and ready for the day.  When I decided to try and switch careers to better myself and be independent and all that crap, that's when I as I call it "bugged" out.  I went to school at night taking 18 credits while working for my fathers company and I just threw myself into an absolute stress induced panic attack.  Ever since then I've done everything possible to avoid my anxiety and to help myself.  I looked up therapists and made appointments (never ever would have believed I would do such a thing before this time), I changed jobs (blaming it on my fathers business and thinking I needed a change), I keep trying to go back to school to better myself and finish my degree but I keep running into the panic attacks/unreal feelings/anxiety problems that cause me to want to quit school and give up.

It's been a rough week and I have been thinking of quitting the classes I signed up for this semester completely.  I know it's stupid because I'm already 3/4 of the way through and I only have another month.  But this is just my annoying thought process that I always go through.  I'm thinking I need to priorotize things and even though I don't LOVE being a bank teller, I NEED to work.  I can't afford for me to lose my job, and I personally feel like my stress level has gotten worse since I started these college classes.  So if one of the two has to go, it has to be school because I need to make money.

Wonder if there's ever going to a be a way out of this, I guess SSRI's is what every therapist has recommended for me but I'm just so extremely comfortable taking them.  My anxiety spikes when I start taking it and I feel worse instantly and then I panic, I can't have that interfering with my job.  Feeling like i'm just stuck in a rough spot right now.  I'm trying my best to finish up this semester of school, even if that means I have to miss a class here or there for my sanity purposes alone lol

Posted 11/6/2011 5:09 PM (GMT 0)
Mike,

Accepting that you have anxiety is the first step toward healing. 

We often waste way too much of our time and energy focusing on what we don't like, what we're worried about, or what we think needs to be fixed, changed, or enhanced.

There are great things happening in your life and around you all the time.

Celebrate the good stuff around us, in others, and in ourselves and you will find you will feel much better.  When my hubby gets upset  I frequently ask him , " is your glass half full?". This usually gets a chuckle out of him as he tells me he doesn't even have a glass.  turn

Posted 11/6/2011 10:39 PM (GMT 0)
Hi Mike,

Just my 2 cents worth.

It seems like when you talk about working in the family business, you feel good. I guess I think the optimum place for you to work is a job where you don't feel stressed all the time. Life is too short to be miserable, especially in a job where you spend a lot of your time.

I wish you luck as you work through the various issues. A counselor or therapist can help a lot. Keep posting here, too, it may help you to clarify what's going on for you.

By the way, I know what you mean about "men" having a hard time reaching out for help. Just my opinion, but only a man who has courage can admit he needs help.

cool
Posted 11/7/2011 1:08 AM (GMT 0)
Nice Display! I am not a man, but agree that sometimes in our times of weakness, we are actually at our strongest point...or at least have that potential...because it is then that we seek to grow and change!

S.C.
Posted 11/9/2011 4:39 PM (GMT 0)
You've received a lot of great input and advice.
I agree with Display. Life is really too short to feel miserable all the time.

I think there is an answer to this.
Ask yourself, "Is this the field I am truly interested in? or Is this the field that I want other people to see me working in?" Funny thing...some people decide to work in a particular field mostly because they believe it's "cool" or "reputable" and not necessarily because it's the right fit for their skills and strength.
Posted 11/9/2011 10:01 PM (GMT 0)
Thanks guys for the good advice yet again. I really just wish I could put some of this good advice into action. I just find myself lacking the energy or BELIEVING that I can actually change.

Melodee you hit on a great point. Is this a field that I'm truly interested in? Um, no not really. I really don't care about banking (the operations side of it), the part that always did kind of interest me was the financial markets and investing. I believe that interested me because it seems a lot like a game, like gambling, two things that I used to be very interested in lol. Gambling not so much anymore because I don't have enough money to do so, and games I still enjoy but the inability to really enjoy anything lately has kind of taken that away from me.

I have two things in my head right now regarding that statement that make me worry though. When I think back and wonder what type of jobs I did like. I really enjoyed the whole process of working in my families business and feeling proud of the company. Trying to build something and achieve something. But then it worries me that I miss these things now because I left for totally different reasons. At the time I was thinking of "oh my god I'm never going to get a raise workign for my family. I'm never going to make good money in this business until I'm 50 or so and my father retires. I'm never going to have vacations because I'm tied to the business, I'm never going to have good credit because I'm off the books here..." on and on and on. So that made me go back to school while working in my fathers business full time, which is exactly when everything went nuts on me and I lost it (anxiety hit me HARD).

I've never really felt as if I really recovered. I've worked in 2 jobs since. A brief stint in a piece of crap vitamin customer service job that was selling vitamins through informercials, they were pretty much scamming people. I couldn't take it and left, now working in a bank for the last year. It keeps creeping into my head though, daily, hourly, even several times an hour at some points, of what the hell am I doing here? I'm a blue collar guy....I should be working in my fathers business or in the food industry business somewhere (used to work ina deli for 3-4 years before working in my fathers food manufacturing business). I feel as if I'm living a lie.

But then I snap myself back to reality by telling myself I left there because I felt as if I was "too smart" or "better" then the job I was doing and deserved more. I left because I wanted to try and be a white collar/business guy. But it just doesn't feel right now. I've thought about going back to the blue collar jobs but then I feel as if I'm admitting failure in the business/schooling/white collar world. I asked my father 2 weeks ago if he's take me back in the family business and he said no. He said he doesn't want me back there and he wants me to stop running from things and stick with my job now, he says I'm doing good there (which I am) and hopefully a new opening will open up and things will change. I really have no gameplan of where to go. I do feel very down and pathetic though. I feel like crap all the time, and the mere fact that I can't seem to make up my own mind and need coaching session from my father at 26 reminds me of how indecisive and struggling I am.
Posted 11/9/2011 10:21 PM (GMT 0)
An honest day's work is always something to be proud of, no matter what color you collar is:)

Believe in your therapy/medications/treatment, and keep trying everyday with every last bit of energy you have...it will work, many of us here are your proof!

S.C.
Posted 11/9/2011 11:44 PM (GMT 0)
That's a good point too, thats why I liked Melodee's question of am I working where I am comfortable and where I like to or am I doing it to have other people see me working in/towards that field? Made me think about it and realize that Melodee might be right with that. Although like I said, I worry about if I switch and go back to my old job, or something like it, that I'll long to switch back to this field. Because I can never really seem to comtempt with where I'm at lol
Posted 11/10/2011 12:01 AM (GMT 0)
Mike,

Ask youself some questions -

What do you like about the job you have ?

What was there you liked about working in the family business ?

 Do explore your options before jumping ship.    If you want a change, but like your organization, talk to your manager, mentor, or HR professional about possible opportunities.  A new project or position might re-energize you.  Even if you're in a bad situation, be sure that you don't hastily leave for a worse one.

 

Don't make your job your whole life.  When you come home at the end of the day leave your job a work.

 

Kindly,

Kitt

Posted 11/10/2011 2:51 PM (GMT 0)
There is a heap of really thought provoking comments here Mike, but I don't think any have come from the angle I am about to. In your first post, you asked, Do you guys think it's smart to cater your career around your anxiety?

I realized along time ago, that I am likely never going to be completely free of my issues I carry, and I have catered my career around my anxiety. The only way I can sustain fulltime work, is working in Nightshift hours, this keeps me away from many noises that can trigger me, stress from Management, voilent outbursts from clients, (mostly). And I love my job. I see it as the best way I can lead a 'normal' life, and a way of looking after me as best as I can, and I don't have an issue with that.
✚ New Topic ✚ Reply