Hello everyone!! New to this place, need some support please :)

Age: 21
Weight: Around 205
Height 5'11"
Full-Time college student, and also work in a restaurant twice a week
I have Asperger's Syndrome


Here's My Story:

I got my 1st panic attack in the summer of '10 after smoking a cigar with some buddies one night, I felt like I was gonna die, but 10 mins after my friends dropped me off, I was fine again (needless to say, I quit smoking cigars). Then in January of '11 that's when things got really bad and my true anxiety issues came out. I got my next panic attack after working out the night after I was to start the spring '11 semester, then again later that week when I went to a club. Ever since then I would get 1-2 full blown panic attacks a day. At one point I did go to the ER and they thought I was fine after a simple blood test. I went to my family doctor and was prescribed .25 Xanax taken every day when I woke up. During this time with Anxiety I couldn't drive long distances at all. As I was driving home from school I had to pull off the road and have my dad and stepmom take me home. Going to school became harder as my roommates were becoming more and more difficult to deal with and my grandmother who I was VERY close with and would eventually pass away July for not being able to pull through from open heart surgery. My anxiety got bad to a point where the Xanax quit working and I had to come home, I was homesick and was planning on moving back home and go to school locally anyway whether or not I finished the semester. After I came home I became fine, I got of Xanax and started seeing a psychologist and pretty much took it easy for a while just to recoup (one of my roommates in school is a neo-****, and I saw him attempt suicide twice when he was drunk). After time I had those thoughts in my head from the Xanax and the images of said person. After a while they went away and from April-August I pretty much had my anxiety under control, very seldom did I have an attack I think from that period I had only one attack in July because it was so humid at my job. Luckily during this time I also lost 30-35lbs (I was probably about 235, pushing 240 when I left school, now I'm back down to 205). After my grandmother died July 1st, and knowing that I would be back in school again full time soon I started getting attacks in late august again. I keep on thinking I'm having a heart issue and I'm always putting my fingers on my neck to check my pulse.


Now today, I've been having pain and discomfort all over my body from my stomach, to my chest (both right and left sides), to my shoulder, back, neck and elbows and it radiates across all these areas. Also, my left arm will feel heavier than my right and my left bicep goes into spasms a lot. It makes it hard for me to breathe at times (I did move heavy dining room furniture from a 2nd story apartment down stairs a week ago, that could possibly trigger some of my issues?). Sometimes I also feel a bit isolated from my friends and i feel less and less socially intact. I started seeing a psychiatrist on top of my psychologist and was prescribed .5 of Klonopin, which I use when I'm having/about to have a panic attack which has been a lot better and more effective than the Xanax.


I've been checked for the following:
Diabetes: Blood tests came out fine
Kidney Issues: My BUN (I think) was a bit high and had a kidney ultrasound done, everything came out fine
I probably had between 4 and 6 EKGs done, all coming out good
Just went through and echo-cardiogram and stress test, they came out fine but they want me to do a stress-echo just in case and that will be done the 21st, only advice from them was to exercise more and lose some more weight.
Been to the ER twice, one in school and then about 4-5 weeks ago, that came out fine
Been to an Urgent Care center once, came out fine
Blood pressure always comes out pretty good, actually got better and better over the past few months.

My family has the following:
My dad had kidney failure and went through a transplant in '04, and is now Type 2 Diabetic as well, he says he thinks he also has signs of heart failure at 49
My mom has Multiple Sclerosis and Depression
Both my grandmothers had or have Type 2 Diabetes, my recently deceased grandmother also had total heart failure towards the end of her life at 82
My grandfather (from dad's side) is 76 and is as healthy as 76 year old can get despite bad skin cancer

Anyway I think I covered just about everything in a nutshell, any support, feedback, anything else I could do, anyone else I can see as well (even though it's really starting to piss my parents off that I'm seeing all these people). Thanks so much in advance

-Matt

Hello Matt, Here's the thing. I had similar panic attacks like yourself. I went to a cardiologist, had an e.c.g and also a stress test on a tread mill to check my heart. Once I was convinced that my heart was ok then I worked on my panic attacks. Accepting them as panic attacks helps alot. because you know you wont die, you may feel bad and like you are dying but knowing helps and you find if you perservere through the attack it will lessen. Most of my panic attacks are now gone but if I get them again, so what, I already know it will stop. Good luck and I know you will get better. I am only new today, this site seems good to me, all the best.

Hi Matt and welcome. I am sorry that you are having these issues that right now. I know how it is to worry about health.

It seems that anxiety has disrupted your life to the point of not being able to do the things that you want and need to do. It was when I reached this point, that I knew I needed help.

CBT was really awesome in helping me recover from daily panic. I can now manage my anxiety really well:)

If you haven't looked into it, I strongly urge you too. If you have been through it, maybe you need a refresher course...I went through it twice!

I hope that you get the help that you need soon, and start to do all of the wonderful things that life has in store for you:)

Keep posting!

Scaredy Cat

stkitt said...
Matt,


Good Morning and welcome to HealingWell. I am sorry that you have been struggling for so long. You did post alot about your anxiety but did not mention your Asperger's and how your are being treated for Asperger's syndrome . I have a granddaughter with Asperger's.



Despite having average or above average intelligence (a diagnostic requirement of Asperger's syndrome) a range of factors leave those with the condition more prone to anxiety.



Living in a world with almost incomprehensible social rules and customs (they are rarely logical) raises anxiety when interacting with others for people with Asperger's.



And above all the lack of understanding and acceptance shown by other people, and more: active rejection and ridicule, quite often, raises fear and anxiety for future social encounters. Could Asperger's be a major part of your anxiety ? Just my thoughts.



Please do seek out help from your physician.



Kindly,

Kitt

Hey Kitt,


I think my Asperger's has something to do with it, but not much. My Asperger's was always in control from my diagnosis till (Age 5) I ended high school with I think less meltdowns than most Aspies suffer. Most of my peers, friends, and family, and some of my friends' families knew and had awareness of my disorder. I think my Asperger's was more of an issue when I went away to college more than anything because I was always trying to fit in, attempted to join a fraternity (thank god that fell through), and the fact that I saw things I thought I would never see. For example I had a really bad roommate who was a ****, he would make me fall asleep to Hitler speeches, I watched him attempt suicide twice (once by drinking lighter fluid, once by grazing his hunting knife along near his throat, both of these times he was very drunk). I feel like I have a sense of PTSD because of this because I sometimes have moments where I have flashbacks on this guy and he was beyond just trying to get him kicked out because I thought he would seriously harm or even kill me. I was never accepted by many peers when I went away to school and I actually left midway through a semester because I simply couldn't take it anymore. In short, Aspergers was never really a factor to me until college and I always knew before that that I was who I was and I knew I would only get a few quality friends rather than a bunch of not as good friends to go out and party with, etc.

On seeing a physician, I felt that he's done all he could do and is at the end of his rope. I feel that if I need to I would just go to an urgent care again rather than my physician if I really feel my symptoms and pains are becoming intolerable.