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Posted 1/10/2012 1:32 AM (GMT 0)
Hi all, i'm new here. For the last 5 months I've been suffering from anxiety ever since I had my third child. I'm on 100 mg of zoloft and .5 mg of klonopin daily. My anxiety has spiraled out of control and I was recently diagnosed with panic disorder. I am a military wife and my husband works A LOT, leaving me home alone with our 3 young children. I am scared of being home alone with them....because im scared something is going to happen to me. In the last 5 months i have been to the ER countless times and to my GP several times as well. The really weird thing is that this all started spiraling out of control when I had my gallbladder removed mid october. I was a complete wreck the couple days before surgery.....I was deathly afraid of being put to sleep even though I've had my appendix removed just a little over a year earlier, with no issues. When I was released from the hospital the same day after surgery I become completely dependent on my husband....he couldn't leave my side without me freaking out....this is when my continuous trips to the ER started taking place. I'm scared I'm dying from pretty much everything you could imagine. Currently I'm having abdominal pains and back pains and am convinced I have an abdominal aortic anneurysm that is going to rupture and im going to die because my husbands at work and won't be able to call for help. Not only have I become scared to death of being alone and of dying from some undetected illness that I have, but I have to have my cell phone and house phone with me at all times in case i need to call for help. I also am almost everyday very dizzy/lightheaded, frequent headaches and nausea. I can deal with the anxiety.....but I can't live with these phobias anymore....im so sick of living every minute of my life around my fears. I am seeing a therapist and I love her, but no one can seem to get me to shake this! I've also done self help anxiety stuff with cds and work books. Have done plenty of research online and have read numerous books. If anyone can relate to me, please help!
Posted 1/10/2012 2:08 AM (GMT 0)
Hello and welcome!

Oh yes, many of us can relate to exactly what you are going through! First of all, I think that it is common for parents to start to feel anxiety and the health fears that we do because of the awesome responsiblilty that we have in taking care of our children...what would happen to them if something were to happen to us?

This puts extra pressure on our already pressured lives, and something eventually gives...so what you are feeling is very common.

You also have had two recent surgeries, and this is also a common trigger for panic. Many people have anxiety for the first time after an illness or procedure.

I am so glad to hear that you have sought help with therapy, self-help techniques and on-line sources. It does take time to start to see results. It may seem as though your anxiety appeared over night, but actually you may have underlying fearful thoughts and feelings for a long time prior to your first attack.

I will take awhile for you to retrain your thinking and subsequent feelings, and then reduce your symptoms. It does not happen right away. I had to take two courses of CBT, and even then, a lot of my results were revealed after my treatment had ended.

Try to be patient and keep up the work....it will get better:) I like to use this mantra when I am feeling symptoms of stress and get frightened:

"I am okay, this is only fear making me feel this way...I have felt this before and gotten through it, I can do it again."

Keep repeating calming, positive things to yourself. What we think=how we feel! You may not even believe your own words at first, but they have power and will eventually sink in.

Post with us anytime...just reaching out to others is really helpful. We are always here to listen, share and help:)

Looking forward to getting to know you better.

Scaredy Cat
Posted 1/10/2012 5:53 AM (GMT 0)
Hello, and welcome to the forums! I could have written your post myself, minus the surgery, and husband in the military part. I too suffer severe health anxiety, and let me tell you, it's no fun. I can totally relate to the fear of being alone, "just in case" something would happen.

I also went to my doctor on several occasions, and I went to the ER twice in two months because I was sure I was having a heart attack or a stroke, only to have them run the normal tests (EKG, bloodwork, etc), and tell me I was completely fine and all tests came back normal both times. They gave me 1 mg of Ativan through IV, both times, and it calmed me down totally within an hour, but it didn't stop my fears.

Do you mind if I ask how long have you been taking Zoloft? I am on 100 mgs also, and I take .5 xanax twice a day. I just now started feeling relief after being on 100 mgs for about 4 weeks, but I do have my moments of slight anxiety, nothing compared to what I had before starting though. I was a wreck and had anxiety/panic attacks all day, every day. I lost 40 pounds because I was so anxious that I couldn't eat! Not that I didn't need to lose some weight, that's the one good thing that came out of it. LOL!

I started on it in October and worked my way up, stopping at 50 mgs for 6 weeks, but that dose didn't work this time. This is my fourth time on Z in the last 10 years.

It takes a while before the drug is totally built up in your system, and you have to be on your therapudic dose for a good 6-8 weeks before the anxiety/panic attacks start to subside. But i've also read that it could take a good 3 months to totally kick in.

Hope start feeling better soon, Fox

Posted 1/10/2012 6:31 AM (GMT 0)
I started taking it sometime in october as well...started at 25 mg for a week then 50 mg for a week and then 100 mg since. I dont have panic or anxiety attacks anymore....I am just constantly living in fear that I'm dying. I've been to the ER for thinking i'm having a heart attack, but I'm over that. It's other things now like this stomach and back pain....its not even severe but I have it made up in my mind that I have an abdominal aortic aneurysm! So I sit here and obsess about it alllll day long. Sometimes I'm scared to fall asleep at night, because I worry I wont wake up in the morning. I feel as if the doctors have missed something or their tests were in accurate. I do know how ridiculous I sound, but I cannot seem to shake this. I'm not living, everyday I'm in survival mode. It's the constant what do I have to do to make it through the day till my husband gets home from work. When I get his phone call saying hes on his way home I feel so relieved, and then when he walks through the door I am so relieved and then I'm so tired that my body is just ready to fall over from being so tense all day. I don't know what else to do anymore.
Posted 1/10/2012 7:24 AM (GMT 0)
I could cry reading this posting... I am also a military wife, home all day alone with our 4 month old son. I have chronic panic attacks and a constant fear that I am dying. Every thing I feel that is weird or "off" (which is everything nowadays) I'm convinced that I am dying. The latest one is, I have constant back pain and constant stomach/chest pains.... I'm convinced that I have some disorder at least, but definitely heart problems that drs. have missed. I'm on edge all day when he is
gone, waiting to just collapse and suddenly die. When he texts or calls to say he's on his way, I feel relief, but it's like he can never get here fast enough. I do the same thing...I keep my phone on me all day and tip toe around my house. I'm afraid to eat almost anything. Ive quit drinking any caffeine or carbonated beverages because I'm afraid. I won't do any exercise or house work because I am afraid to raise my heart rate. Why not put it all out there? I'm afraid to have sex with my own husband. It's been months. I know how you feel- the hopelessness. The exhaustion. I could go on forever... I'm so sorry.
Posted 1/10/2012 8:10 AM (GMT 0)
I did cry reading your post. You described myself completely. I am so sorry that you are going through this, because I know exactly how you feel. I would never wish this "life" on anyone.....no one should have to go through this. I truly hope from the bottom of heart that you beat this phobia. Praying for you and your family.
Posted 1/10/2012 3:27 PM (GMT 0)
It sounds like the two of you have a lot in common and could be of help and comfort to each other!

You could set up chats in our chat rooms, or exchange e-mails. (do this only in your profiles...i.e, put your e-mail only on your personal profile page for security, then if a member clicks on your screen name only they can see it, not visitors to the site)

I would encourage you to keep talking with us and each other!!

S.C.
Posted 1/10/2012 3:43 PM (GMT 0)
Wow! You two should really keep in touch here. Sounds to me like you have VERY similar lives, as well as the anxiety issue. You can actually be a great support system for each other because you are both military wives, and you really understand what the other is dealing with when it comes to hubby being away alot and the whole military lifestyle.

Hadit.....Have you spoken to your doc about this? If not, I would recommend calling them and telling them what's going on. They may increase the dosage of one, or both, of your meds. Or maybe they'll give you something else all together if this combo does not seem to be helping you with the thoughts. You should not have to live in fear every day. There is help out there for people like us. Stay strong and keep posting here, it really does help to talk to other people that are going through the same, or similar situations.

Mrs. Creedo..... Are you receiving counseling, therapy, or taking any meds for your anxiety and panic attacks? I'm sorry for asking, but reading your post it doesn't say. If not, I would suggest doing so. There is so much help out there for people struggling with what we are going through.

Keep coming here to post. There are MANY people on here that can offer you some great advice and tips on how to deal with all of this. It IS very frightening, and it really does help to have a strong support system, whether it be from friends and family, or coming here, as we are all one big family!

Take care, and God bless you both! ((hugs)) Fox
Posted 1/10/2012 6:49 PM (GMT 0)
I'm sorry I wasn't more detailed when I posted that... I've had anxiety & panic issues since I was 18. It got really bad when I was 19, I didn't leave my house for months. I did attend some therapy sessions which helped & I was gradually able to help myself with baby steps & no meds... Going short distances first & working out further each time. The anxiety and panic gradually subsided & for the most part, I've only had "rough patches" up until recently. I just turned 26 & I might as well be 19 again. Every phobia I developed then is back... & with friends! I'm currently only taking Ativan (1mg 2xs/day, sometimes 3) and seeing my GP. Ive been waiting on a referral for a psychologist (CBT) for a month now. I'm completely terrified of antidepressants, they've been suggested to me several times, but I've always refused. Any feedback on antidepressants?
I'm so glad Im not alone... I didnt know until recently when I started doing some research (for my own sanity) how many of us there are out there!
Posted 1/11/2012 12:31 AM (GMT 0)
Hi I just read your post and I could definitely relate to you. I have been suffering from anxiety since I was 16 . I have ups and downs for many years . I live in constant fear of dying. I have not been to the ER in many years but I have sat near the ER many many times. The past 4 months I have been feeling dizzy and neck pain I am scared to go to doctors but I have to there might be really something wrong with me .I am going through a divorce and I am scared to be alone been with this man for 20 years he understands me and was always here just in case something happened to me. I also carry my phone around with me when I'm home and I'm afraid to exercise and have a heart attack. Sometimes I have to take deep breaths because I feel like I can't breathe. It is a horrible way to live Its a ongoing battle I have felt good at times I just wish I could always feel that way and get rid of this anxiety forever and ever! And I have anxiety about taking medicine I am afraid I will have bad allergic reactions so there's no help for me.
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