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Anxiety problems for over 30 years... any new ideas

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Posted 2/19/2012 10:13 PM (GMT 0)
I seem to have had this problem all my life it seem. I would guess it is stress related?? It started as a teenager (parents had problems) and that's when it kicked in. Started with throwing up constantly. Back in those days the doctors just gave me malox said when I got nervous my stomach produced allot of acid. Then when I was 23 my mother got breast cancer that killed her. That is when I started with medication. I can't even remember what it was back then but it seems I have been on them all. Lexapro 20 mg is what I take now and when it's bad buspar or ativan.
Anyway the thing that triggers me the most now is my husband (26 years married). I can't take his angry outburst. And this comes with is job and outside influences in it. He is also on Lexapro.
I have done counseling. The breathing etc. But the breathing is not helpful because when it hit it hits like a brick. My husband is not physically violent but he does yell and it just sets me off. He loves me very much and I him, and short of leaving him I don't know how to handel this. I have to learn to live with it and control it. If I left then it would just be something else out there that would get to me.
Any other suggestions form those out there that know what I'm talking about. I'm 48 and can't keep this up. An anxiety attack may kill me, it puts my body in such a tail spin. Throwing up, diarrhea, shaking, hot flashes. When it's serious none of that medication works and all I want to do is sleep and shut down. HELP!!
Posted 2/19/2012 11:03 PM (GMT 0)
Hello and welcome.

I am so sorry to hear of your anxiety issues and the circumstances that surround it.

I am glad that you have explored some good treatment options to control your anxiety and panic, so keep up with those. You never know when something is going to 'click' and progress will be made. Always looking for new techniques through self-help books and programs are good options as well.

I am concerned that you mention 'just learning to live' with your anxiety and what seems to trigger it. While true that we do need to learn the skills to manage stress, there are times when we need to address the root of the problem as well.

I would strongly suggest seeking marriage counselling. Abuse does not have to be physical for it to still be abuse...and damaging. If your husband will go, that is a great first step! If not, then I think it's important for you to still go alone, and address these issues.

We have a Resource Guide here that has some helpful links. I know that you said the breathing/relaxation exercises do not help, but you should always keep trying new ones...and practice everyday, whether you are currently anxious or not. It is a discipline, like meditation, that takes commitment...then when the panic stikes, you are ready.

Keep talking with us as well. We understand and are here to listen and support.

Scaredy Cat
Posted 2/19/2012 11:30 PM (GMT 0)
Thanks, Just reading others on here lets me know I"m not alone with this problem. I also have a 22 year old that has anxiety attacks. Different reasons but ... I'm hoping that being on medication early and leaning about his problems and triggers that he can do a better job at handeling it.
I will take your advice to heart and look into some counseling or just expressing my feelings to my husband better. If he's mad he's mad but he might just have to vent his troubles somewhere else. You would think by now we would have learned this but...
Thanks again and I appreciate all the honest upfront people on here willing to share.
Posted 2/20/2012 4:16 AM (GMT 0)
I agree with Scaredy Cat that a marriage counselling would really help. Choose someone that has the experience to help you overcome your difficult times by giving you the best advice.

If possible, try to get your husband to come with you so he understands what you are going through and how to better support you. A good counselor should know how to advice you husband on matters regarding how to support you at home and talking in a lower tone etc. If he would not come, start by attending a session by yourself as there will be proven ways to handle the situation in a manner beneficial to both of you.

Handling anxiety requires patience, I always believe that in time, by being strong and facing it bravely and understanding it well, we can take charge or it one day.

The key is not to give up easily and seek help from experienced counselors, sufferers, or even remedies known to work for many other sufferers.

Be strong ksh2488!!
Posted 2/20/2012 5:22 AM (GMT 0)
Thanks for your advice!! I will look into it.
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