What do I do when my mother, who has been helping me the most throughout my struggle with anxiety and depresson, has turned back into the mother who is impossible to get along with and thinks she is always right?
It has been a really hard road for me and my mother helped to take me out of school for the semester and let me go and live with her while trying to make a healthy recovery. It was great because she and I have always had a history of fighting and disagreements and it seemed like our relationship was turning a new leaf.
However, when we started getting settled into this new arrangement and getting comfortable in it, she began revisiting her old habits of starting fights. I will of course admit that I am not always innocent in these fights, but most people in my family would attest to her more often being the instigator. I try to be a good daughter and cook and clean for her, I try to be grateful and helpful and and basically a maid and a servant to her without asking for much, if anything really. I think the last thing I asked about was if I could get a toothbrush holder. To clear up any confusion, I was not asking if she could buy me one, I was asking if I could buy myself one because I didn't want to buy one without her knowledge and add things to her place without her permission.
When I make the tiniest mistake though, she yells at me and threatens to send me away. How am I supposed to feel like I can't make a mistake at all? And a big part of my anxiety is feeling like I am not good enough, but how can I get better about that feeling when she keeps making me feel like I am bad and can't be good enough for her? She is the worst example too, about not being able to control other's thoughts and actions, which I understand, but that doesn't help when she doesn't get that when she holds almost complete jurisdiction over my life. I am thinking about leaving and going home to live with my dad (they are still married, but she took a job five states away and he can't move down yet). It's getting too ridiculous for me.