Work related anxiety

Hello - My first time on a chat site, but I absolutely need some help dealing with stomach-clenching, headache-producing anxiety from my job.  My boss is very controlling and negative and yet insists we are friends, which we are, but I have a hard time separating work from friendship.  I am 60 and desperate to retire, but need insurance for my husband who is retired.  I can barely force myself to go to work; I feel so burned out, my job is very demanding and busy.  I have a lot of responsibility-I work in the court system, also collect taxes and we are very short-handed so it is very hard to get any time off. How do I get through the next 2 years without completely wrecking my mental and physical health?   I am taking celexa and wellbutrin for depression already and I don't know where to go next.  I never stop worrying about work.

Hi

Good to meet you and welcome to HW I am glad you found us. Sounds like you are having a tough time at the moment anxiety can be hard to deal with and if you through is the stresses of a job that can make it harder. Have you ever asked your doctor about being referred to do some talking therapies such as CBT? I have done CBT and found it really helpful and taught me ways of dealing with my anxiety and stress might be something you want to look into. Let us know how you are getting on. Take Care

Hibee

Thank you so much for your great responses. Yes, I do see a doctor for my depression. I live in a very small community, and I work in an elected official's office so my job is appointed. I do think I have been conditioned by my boss to think that my job is way more important (because it is to her) than it should be. Also, I think I am nervous about retiring early for financial reasons. Every day I pray that I can find some other way to earn the money we need. My husband is on social security so it wouldn't pay for him to get a job. Last week I was called back work twice in the evening - I have been forced to take on a lot or responsibility and I always have too much work on my desk to try and keep it all straight. I have numerous things in place as reminders so that i try not to forget anything. My boss is not kind when she thinks I have made a mistake - we have had some intense arguments as she expects me to keep track of a lot of her stuff too and gets really angry when she thinks I haven't told her something or reminded her of something. I am working so hard on trying to live in the moment and not let my job keepme anxious every moment of every day. I feel like there is always a miskate she will find hanging overy my head. I really can't imagine going to work and fighting with her or working in a non-speaking environment so I try to be kind and calm and uber supportive of everything she does. Thnings have gotten much worse in the last 2 years as we combined our one office with 2 other offices so our work has more than doubled. She is out to prove something because there were a lot of people that didn't want the combination, she pretty much drove the last person in the job to early retirement also, so there was so much animosity from the beginning and I am expected to dislike or shun the peolpe she doesn't like, she is insecure herself and takes it out on me. I am not a confrontational person by nature and I have always been very easy-going and try to enjoy life but this is absolutely changing my personality and outlook. Should I keep trying to make this work or am I paying too high a price? Thanks for any advice and this will be an on-going situation, so please bear with me.

One more - I seem to be pretty much paralyzed by the time I get home from work and can barely make a meal - I was never a tv watcher but now that is my evening then off to bed for my life in a horrible rut. I am exhausted most of the time.

luvgramma,

Great advice from all.  I should have posted this the first time around - Leave work at work !  Instead of bringing your stress home with you, go out and walk. Even better, walk with a friend.

I am glad to see others posted this to you. 

One of my biggest stressors was bringing  my worries as well as my work home with me.  I also had a hard time leaving work at 3:30 PM and would frequently still be at work until 4:30 PM.  I had this misconcieved believe that I had to be there as nobody else could do my job.  Even after I got home I would freqeuntly call in to my staff to see if they were ok or if they wanted me to come back.  I set myself up for my staff calling me at home for minor issues that they could have easily settled but knowing I would "take care of it" made it easy for them to just make one phone call to me. 

If this sounds like what is happening with you - please do work hard at changing your thinking.  Your time away from work belongs to you so cherish it. 

One thing I noted in your recent post is that you are on Wellbutrin.  I also gained weight from the AD meds and my Dr. suggested Wellbutrin as it is supposed to be weight neutral as well as it doesn't make you feel like eating sugar with a spoon.  I wanted so bad to have this be the med for me but it kicked my anxiety up so bad that I was having panic attacks, felt shaky and just plain miserable.  I actually tried it twice thinking maybe the second time would be lucky - did not happen for me.

How long have you been on Wellbutrin ?  May be worth checking in with your Dr. to see if this med is stressing your body and emotions.

Keep on talking with us here in the forum and remember this is a great place to come and share your feelings.